please may I whine again?

[lyzzie]

Sorry guys, need to moan again, I dont know whats wrong with me at the moment, I cant be bothered with anything. dont want to read, watch the telly, write, anything, could happily sit and cry. Is this what is going to sum up my life? okay, I know I'm not going to set the world on fire but just...is this it? Im sick of accepting each slide down that slope, I never seem to regain any ground, why am I even here? I going out in the morning, just for a drive around, cup of tea at the garden centre, you know, but if I could get out of it I would. Im so sorry, happy mask will be back in place tomorrow Ive no doubt. Sorry again. Now I am crying, feeling really sorry for myself. Lyzzie

[Robbie138]

Oh Lyzzie I feel for you, I hate when I get like that as you know you are sinking and it can be a hard battle to get back up there again. Try and focus on going out tomorrow, you never know you might end up talking to someone nice whilst having your lovely cup of tea or looking at the lovely colours in the garden centre. Please try and cheer up ( if that's ok to say ) look on here and see if you can find what embarrassing moments people have had might bring your mood up a bit. Have you had any ? I put a couple of things on but they weren't my worst lol. I know it's easier said than done and I'm not trying to make light of it I just wish happiness for you. Hope you are ok. Hugs xx

[lyzzie in reply to Robbie138]

I understand, honestly, but I dont like myself like this, it seems to happen more often lately, since they diagnosed the Atrial Fib., I'll be okay, embarrassing? how about this, I borrowed a mobility scooter just before christmas last year, you can hire them in a local town, it was a big four wheeler, capable of being quite nippy,anyway, we went into Smiths to get some Pastel Crayons they were downstairs, no lift, but the centre has a large spiral to go down, that went well enough, got into Smiths, the crayons were down a narrow aisle, but hey, I can drive!! Im going down there!! unfortunately some idiot had put a big cardboard display thingy at the end of the isle, full of art books, I demolished the lot...tried to back out and smacked into the metal stand, suprising how far they move,..they close the doors when they see me coming now, havnt dared go back anyway, they were very nice though, actually, think the disabled bit worked for me on this occassion!!. Ill be alright. Thankyou for caring. Lyzzie.

[Robbie138 in reply to lyzzie]

Haha well that gave me a chuckle esp as I was imagining you, I know you will be ok we just need to get it out and lucky this site is here. I hate crying really cos I end up with sore head sore throat but I sure feel a bit better. Take care Lyzzie and let me know how your day goes xx

[Rose54]

Hi

Sometimes we need to let out all that pent up emotion and anger so a good cry often helps if you don't feel any better by next week please go and see your GP.

Life sucks some times but tomorrow is another day

treat yourself to something nice if you can, try to get out when you can and take some time each day to focus on yourself.

Best Wishes

Rose

[lyzzie in reply to Rose54]

Thanks rose, Lyzzie

[stargirl47]

Hey lizzie this is normal we all get like this sometimes a good cry never hurts any of us so if you feel like crying you cry girl . I have days when I dont even get up I often stay in bed I cant concentrate on any thing . It will pass and you will once again start to feel like doing things again . Try not to stop going out even if its just a lityle walk my finn goes out when im feeling rough just so I dont stop going out because I know he needs me to take him it will pass and un till then we are all here to listen and hopefully cheer you up . Dont know if you have a dog but if you have walkies good gor both of you im here if you want to vent or even just chat I hope youfeel better soon xx

[lyzzie in reply to stargirl47]

I do have a dog, he has his own dogwalker, I cant walk him, part of my downslide at the moment is that a wheelchair has been suggested. Im no where near ready for that, but its coming, I would love to be able to walk him myself, only a couple of years ago I would have, I seem to be getting worse so quickly, Sorry, there I go again, I feel so guilty too feeling like this, I dont allow this face to be seen by my family and friends, maybe thats wrong, but Im so glad I found you guys, most of you are probably worse off than me, but take the time to be supportive, thankyou so much. Lyzzie

[stargirl47 in reply to lyzzie]

You know we are here 24/7 so any time you want to chat you get on line . Is your dog a small dog ? Reason I ask is if hes big he can take you for a walk in that wheelchair and if he is small you can take him so its a win win for you both . My friend has a wheelchair and she keeps it in the boot of her car so its there if she needs it and some times she does and other times she pushes it so it helps her walk to so its there if you need it it doesnt mean you have to use it all the time try to smile I only have to look at my finn and I smile he is a cheeky irish jack russell and I love him to bits xx

[lyzzie in reply to stargirl47]

Hes a jack Russell, A Parson Jack Russell if were being hoity toity, they were bred, yes, Parson Russell and are longer in the legs than the usual ones, hes a typical terrier, stubborn as all get out, and now he has his confidence well and truelly back, can be a little tysant.Another of the dog walkers that often pops in for a chat has an irish jack russell called Eddie, he has had something done to his ears when a puppy that makes them stand to attention all the while, Gerry says this is normal for an Irish Jack, is it? Lyzzie x

[stargirl47 in reply to stargirl47]

Dont know if you know how to do it but if you go on to my profile and go in to my old posts there is one called Smiling through it . On there you will see a photo of my finn and no his ears are not permanently up I think they used to do something to the dogs to make them stay up . They asked if I wanted hix tail docked when I got him I said god no leave ig whole . Poor thing , he is a small short leged jack russell he has got chipindale legs at the front bless him

[lyzzie in reply to stargirl47]

Thats just like the one I mentioned, Eddie, hes a big solid dog now, Buggles is more elegant of course. He had a really odd habit in as much as he chews my fingernails, honestly, as soon as they start to grow again hes there, pinning my hand down so he can bite them, hes very careful but sometimes forgets that the are attached to me!. He mutters to himself constantly while hes doing this and isnt satisfied until hes finished both hands, if you try to get away or stop him he practically sits on your wrist, is this some sort of doggy bonding ritual or is he a frustrated manicurist? He does have his tail docked but its still about 6 inches long, good handle if you want to grab him, I dont like the tail docked, its like taking away their smile isnt it? Lyzzie x

[Hidden in reply to lyzzie]

hi lizzie-thought it was you .when you mentioned your dog.i still walk my dog Annie though it is a struggle some days -cannot do hills anymore-and dont do long walks very often.Always have several "rests"thankfully there are plenty of benches around.Annie now knows where i stop to rest and takes me over to the benches.

[neesey1005]

Thats how I was the other morning - but I have given myself a good talking to - come on girl - climb out of the dumps - and get out and about - you will feel so much better - life's all about the highs and lows even if you are not a FSP (fibromyalgia special person) - your family would hate to see you like this !!! - have a great day tomorrow - Neese. x😊

[lyzzie in reply to neesey1005]

Thanks Nees, maybe Ill buy some alpines for the new bed Ive had made, my next door neighbour looks after my garden, it does look smart but he's happily filling it with cuttings other neighbour are giving us, it will be full before I get to it!!!. He keeps the grass cut as well, I had a water tap put in outside and thats how we barter, he uses my water and I only pay him for cutting the grass and materials he might buy for me. Good trade off I think.

[Hidden]

Hi Lizzie

i feel for you and know exactly what you are going thru.im feeling exactly the same right now.just sitting here sobbing not so much from the pain i am suffering but cos of the way im being i treated by gp's and practice manager,they are all so two faced.since i lost my older dog ,-tho i dont think thats the reason i dont rush to get up and go out-he would always want out b y 6.30 and i had no problem getting up.n ow i survive on a few hours sleep.dont get up much before 8- and dont cant do much else than walk my dog.i dont have any real friends where i live and those that do know i am so unwell dont realise how sick i am because fibro is "invisible"-but my joint deformity,facial changes discolouration of eyes and swelling are clearly visible.the latest "diagnosis" i got from a dr was "you have a real psychological problem".what a nerve!he only issue i have is anger at their total dismissal of everything i tell them.

a doctor should be there to support their patients which my original gp did but ive had nothing but neglect and no support whatsoever from the so called dr i have now but hate the sight of.

#hope you are feeling better,

[lyzzie in reply to Hidden]

Something happened then and I lost my post!! weird!!. You will always have friends here dolphin and I include myself in there. I love to hear about peoples family history, its a hobby of mine, I would enjoy listening about yours if you want, Im going to go to bed and read for awhile as my fingers are tripping over themselves hence the disappearing post, be back tomorrow, please take care. Lyzzie x

[Hidden in reply to lyzzie]

thank you Lyzzie.I dont know where ii would be without HU friends.im always losing posts halfway thru typing them.I'll pm you re family and send you my email address if you want to contact that way

[lyzzie in reply to Hidden]

thankyou would be good. Ill reply same. Lyzziex

[Lou1062]

I feel sure we all understand, do go out tomorrow. I can say with honesty I too have felt the same in the past, this will come and go, make the most of the good days xxx

[lyzzie in reply to Lou1062]

I will. thanks lou, were going to our local St Johns hospice charity shop, my friend has been having a clear out, we both enjoy looking for books and such, and I collect Glass and 1950's ornaments, you never know what you will find, and the ladies there know us both and so its quite social too. Then, tea at the garden centre. Okay, not top of the excitment scale, but its fine by us. Lyzzie x

[Bambamsnan]

I no how you feel I had a visitor who I've not seen since last year and I was talking to her and she asked me how I felt well she opened a can of worms I could not stop crying and I have been very good at holding it in for only family to see but sometimes it's good to have a good cry I no its not the same for us with fb but you no everyone on here is listening to you and giving you hugs we all feel alone even if we're not some really nice people on here lots of hugs Carol ☺

[Sorebones]

Big gentle hugs coming your way. Xx 🐸

[TheAuthor]

Hi lyzzie

I have read your post with so much pain and sorrow as I can relate to what you are going through my friend! I genuinely and sincerely hope that you feel better soon and that your pain eases for you soon. Please take care of yourself.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[lyzzie in reply to TheAuthor]

I really do feel better today ken, didnt sleep again though, it was 6.00am and gone, why does it do this? I think it was that that was getting me down. I must though go out more, even if just around our little close, I gotten so that I want to stay in my bungalow, it really isnt a good idea, is it. We were out today and had a good day, nothing exciting, unless you count the tribe of travellers that had suddenley taken up on Goldington Green, (our local towns prettiest Green) I managed to count 23 caravans plus vans as we drove slowly past. Friend phone me soon as she got home, the cops were already there, making them move on, I would feel sorry for them if the didnt make such a pigs ear of places and leave it in such a mess, its a lovely green, big, with a spinney and childrens adventure play ground, popular with dog walkers, you know? friend said it looked like a rubbish bin and they had only been there one night, see, I'm much better with a soap box to climb on,..I'm okay, thank you all for caring. Lyzzie x

[TheAuthor in reply to lyzzie]

I am genuinely delighted to read that you are feeling better today my friend. I can relate to what you are saying as being an insomniac myself and not going out as much as i use to. Your green sounds absolutely delightful and well worth a little walk.

Before I moved to my bungalow I lived near a canal path and it was so beautiful in summer to walk around but there is nothing where I am now.

Take care my friend

Ken x

[lyzzie in reply to TheAuthor]

That a shame, we have some lovely spots in and around the village, We have a beautiful Norman church, the grave yard is so peaceful and gentle to walk through [no jokes!] and the River here is a popular spot for barges and boats, its the River Ouse and I believe you can get down to the North sea, not sure about that, but the pub next to the River does a roaring trade in summer, but the boat tourists are no problem mainly being nice people. Very Lucky to live back here really. Bet you miss the Water. Lyzzie

[TheAuthor in reply to lyzzie]

[GIIGIIXD]

I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling any better today lyzzie. But you aren't alone we all have days where you just want to curl up in a ball and not deal with anything I know I do. I just hope you have someone with you to cheer you up or at least help with anything or find something that will make you smile mines usually my dog who seems to love eating ice. I hope you feel better soon.

Georgia xx

[lyzzie in reply to GIIGIIXD]

Thank you all of you, as much for not telling me to pull myself together as much as anything, I feel a lot more optimistic today, I still dont really know what happened, one minute I was fine, next minute it was like being enveloped in a horrible foggy mass of misery. We did go out and had a nice day, I think a lot of my problem is I get so that I want to just stay in here, I need to go out, We went to the charity pace, found an old Paul Simon Cd, called GRACELAND, my friend got three lovely blouses, then we went to the garden centre,had an all day brekfast each, and tea, made with Tea Leaves no less!!, they had a sale on, so I got some Alpines for the garden, all in all, A pleasant easy day, Went into T's and got some fresh Salad stuff, and a Chocolate Trifle for Tea!

Thanks again. Lyzzie x

[GIIGIIXD in reply to lyzzie]

I glad you feel better and had what sounds like a lovely day out and I'm very envious of your chocolate triffle about now hope the rest of your evening is as lovely georgia x

[lyzzie in reply to GIIGIIXD]

Im ashamed to say it didnt last long....what the hell, I enjoyed it!!! Lyzzie x

[GIIGIIXD in reply to lyzzie]

Don't worry I would be the same chocolate is a weakness and I'm glad Georgia x

[Robbie138 in reply to lyzzie]

Hi Lyzzie, I'm glad you had a good day out with your friend, I'm very much like you I don't like to go out much.its silly too because if you make the effort you usually enjoy it and I then say I'm going to go out more, but once back in familiar surroundings you just get cosy again and it all starts again, struggle to go out. Take care Lyzzie 😊

[lyzzie in reply to Robbie138]

Your so right Robbie, Im tucked back in my surroundings now, but I must try, I slept so much better too as I was naturally tired, but its so hard to walk far, and is painful afterwards too, but my friend that I go out with a lot [like a sister,known each other 40 + years] has said we go out once a week or else!! Take care of yourself as well, Lyzzie

[Robbie138 in reply to lyzzie]

Hi Lyzzie, glad you all tucked up again lol, and great news you slept better what a difference it makes. I get really sore legs and feet if I've been on them for ages too, also great you and your friend go way back that's true friendship. I once thought I had that but turned out I didn't. My one and only true friend is in heaven with my dad, my mum was my world so empty now. Anyway that's another story. Take care and hopefully you sleep well tonight xx

[lyzzie in reply to Robbie138]

How long is it since you lost your mum, I hope ou dont mind me asking that, but I know how you feel Robbie, my dad dumped us on my eight birthday, my brother was nearly twelve, my mum was our world too, dad died somewhile ago but it meant nothing, we didnt have that sort of relationship, he didnt know us, but mum died 16 years ago, only 68, we feel we lost the glue to our family and we both still miss her, it feels different as the years roll on, but we never stop wanting to tell her things, and noting the things shes missing, like the grand grandaughters she would have adored, if you ever want to talk about your mum, Im here and I do understand, believe me. Good sleep, Lyzzie x

[albinohedgehog]

Don't know what to say but I know how you feel. Wishing you lots of good days xx

[lyzzie in reply to albinohedgehog]

Thanks, better again now, but dread that feeling coming back.

Lyzzie