hi Mo, it's a cruel myth that we can "snap out" of things. we can feel a bit better, adopt better coping methods, or things just ease. Sometimes when we "feel sorry for our selves" it is he only thing we can do and is often more a case of accepting or acknowledging how it really is - this can bring such a shock or a deep sense of loss that we don't know howto deal withit. I find that if I don't honour my feelings and go with it, I end up even more drained. One piece of advice I was given .is that when we feel low it can be likened to our 5 basic needs from birth, ie:-
Why do babies cry? its the same thing -
hunger;
frightened;
uncomfortable/ in pain;
tired;
alone.
I think that's the 5 but I'm not sure.
When looked at that way it is just as natural to cry as to eat.
I've found that unexpressed emotion doesn't go away - it just waits and surfaces when I'm least expecting it! sometimes I've started to laugh or even sing and ended up in tears. I've also found myself silently weeping in the supermarket - only realising when my collar felt wet!
I have been through many dark, lonely, frightening days and it is still a constant struggle (but getting less and less)
My advice to you would to seek counselling either through your GP or If you have a woman's center near you go there you will get seen sooner. I also went and paid for Hypnotherapy and it was absolutely brilliant,
Now when I have dark days I just allow them to be that, I soak in the bath get into my pj's and listen to music/ watch tv or read. I stopped worrying that i hadn't cleaned up/done anything - cause that will still be there tomorrow.
I also found meditation helps to calm my body/mood. all you need is some relaxation music, get on your bed or somewhere where you will be comfortable close your eyes and listen to the music, if thoughts come in dismiss them (the more you do it the easier it will become)
there are light at the end of tunnel. but Sandra (above) is right you need to accept that things have changed (not easy to face but necessary) then you can look at other ways to do things or deal with things.
1 thing that really helped me was make a list of things I did each day in my dairy (even if it is I got up and dresses, made a meal, etc. then you start looking at the positives rather than all the negatives that fibro brings.
I work every day and find this really helps as i usually do not have the time to think about myself or how bad i feel.
Just sometimes it all gets a bit much and something has to give. I think between the Fibro, chronic fatigue, hypothyroid, vitiligo and constant migraines i get really sick of all of it and want it all to go away.
I have vented so i am good again for another few weeks.
I am going through the same thing, I would not say your feeling sorry for yourself. It gets to us all. This summer I have been indoors , could not bring myself to get my lazy ass out of bed. The pain hurt so much I did not want to move even. I did not eat or drink as they meant getting up and going loo. I lost weight and mussel. I was suffering form depression, we just can't pull our socks up. If it were not for internet support and reading how others just like me our going through similar. it helps that your not alone my friend . hope this helps a little your not alone and feeling sorry for yourself. JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME.
We are often too hard on ourselves, we would never expect too much from a friend, so need to treat ourself better. Allow yourself some PLOM time ( Poor Little Old Me) When the light goes out at the end of the tunnel, we need to slow down, recharge our batteries, & the dim light will glow brightly again. It just takes time!
Hope everyone on here caring about you helps lift your mood.
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