I had a really good week last week, No flare ups just normal pain, my mood was good, I said to my hubby I will have a few more weeks or months or years of this. I saw my best friend and my lovely mum (who I hadn't seen for a couple of months) even managed to have brunch with friends. PAYBACK is NOW. yesterday I had extra pain but thought that was what I was expecting, after all we are not allowed to enjoy our lives for too long are we ??? But last night and now is hideous, the pain and how i am feeling is too much. I am supposed to go to my Self esteem group today but i am sure I won't make it and I have missed one already and if you miss 2 then you can't go again. The thing is the thought of having to get ready and sit in the car to get there and then to be there for an hour and half is too much. I hate to let anyone down but I know I have to think about me. Sorry I am feeling very sorry for myself today, life is really unfair and i am so teary today. Really don't want to resort to oramorph because I hate the coming off it ( I try to use it sparsley) I got abit addicted to it last year. I really never thought my life would be like this 10 years ago. What do they say " life only gives you what you can handle" not sure that is true. I do hope those reading this are in better pain than I am.