Thoroughly fed up.

I'm getting a tad tired with having to fight for every little crumb that's on offer.

Today we had a social services assessment . My son ( aged 22 ) is autistic and I have physical problems , as well as some mental health issues .

After talking to us for an hour the social worker has basically said there is nothing she can do . Although we are 3 adults living in a one bedroomed bungalow we don't fit the council's criteria as being over crowded , because we have a lounge with a sofa bed.

Although my son has asthma , we are not considered priority for housing , even though the bungalow has damp issues.

Her parting words were " Sorry, but I don't have a magic wand " .

I approached 2 more private landlords this afternoon only to be told, no pets , no DSS .

I've still heard nothing about my DLA renewal , and it is now approaching 8 weeks since I sent the claim off.

On top of all this , the anal fissures I have , have started to bleed badly again and I still have a 6 week wait ahead of me to see a surgeon .

I don't need and can't cope with all this stress.

I'm starting to think I must have been really evil in a previous life .

[soulsusie]

Oh Helen, I really feel for you, I have myself had the same thoughts as yourself as to why we are a we are now, life sucks it really does our pets are so precious to us and yet landlords penalise people for having pets, crazy.

DLA well so few people seem to be getting it its really cruel.

I do so hope you get something sorted out.

Soft Hugs

Sue x x x x

[Hidden in reply to soulsusie]

I've been receiving DLA without a problem for almost 10 years now Susie and I'm far worse now than I was back then, so if they don't award it I KNOW it will be down to the welfare reform rather than me not being entitled . I just hope I have the strength to fight if it becomes necessary .

I know some landlords refurbish their properties so they can get top rents , but with little or no social housing it's just getting ridiculous . The agents charge horrendous fees too.

xx

[Shortnsweet54 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Helen,

do your council do a rent and deposit scheme ?, i got help with the deposit etc through my council, and paid it back monthly...might be worth looking at. They do it as there is so little social housing, (due to the big sell off by Mrs T) and it helps people get into rented property.

Hugs

Jan xxx

[beth2]

dont think that, I would ask for another assessment maybe a letter from your GP do you see anyone regauarding your mental health issues sorry not being nosey just trying to think of something to help you I do understand how you feel my son has special needs he is 15 but I worry how he will cope he will always need help and like you I am not well luckly my hubby is the healthy one I wish I could help you take care love beth x

[Hidden in reply to beth2]

I'm really thankful for my hubby too Beth , he's basically caring for both me and my son now and we've only been married just over a month .I feel terribly guilty that he has to do everything

I've asked for a mental health assessment , but she wouldn't refer us so I now have to try and get my GP to do it.... So another long wait in store no doubt .

xx

[Hidden in reply to beth2]

I get no support at all for mental health problems Beth , if they can't chuck medication at it they're at a loss !

xx

[Hidden]

Hi helen oh no they cant do this to you.i would go to the gazette.

And tell them.

Disgusting .horrendous.how do u all manage?.

Please dont give up.

Weve been ringing landlords all day.dont give up pleaae.you wrre gpod to me.

Lots hugs xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Sammy,

If we wanted a flat in a tower block then it would be no problem , but bungalows , houses, even ground floor flats are non existent in social housing here apparently.

I flatly refuse to get rid of the dog and the cat who are both rescue animals , it's no wonder animal shelters are full of unwanted pets. It really does annoy me . My dog is obedient and well trained, she's no trouble at all , and the cat is approaching middle age,and disabled he's either out or asleep !

We can't help the fact we receive some housing benefit , that doesn't make us bad people !

I'm so fed up with being viewed as a third class citizen xx

[Hidden]

Oh Helen I can understand your pain I have some mental health issues caused by the stress of me being Ill my husband having an incurable lung disease and my son being autistic and a teenager. I have been promised a social worker ... Respite ........counselling and it all never happens. I seem to get one step forward then knocked back two. I have been battling dla for 4 years and I still only get lowest care rate even though I can no longer drive walk properly or do housework. We have had to downsize just to afford to live.... That traumatised my son for months .... More stress. Please don,t lose hope I am sure you will hear from the dla soon my claim took about 10 weeks earlier this year. Xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Their promises are like pie crust Helen, we were promised all sorts but in reality there's nothing .

it makes me so angry . I saved the local council thousands by being an unpaid carer for years and apparently that counts for nothing !

I was only on lower rate care and mobility DLA but I have a feeling I'll lose it, not sure why , it's just a feeling .

I get severe panic attacks if I have to leave the house , I have clinical depression on top of everything else- unmedicated because I can't tolerate anti depressants ( and I've tried them all over the years ! )- I'm 48 and may as well be on the scrap heap

xx

[beth2]

hi again helen have you been in touc with cab they might be helpful I feel so sorry for you (and sammy too) take care love beth x

[Hidden]

I had to ask CAB for a home visit as I can't get out to them, they said they're too busy at the moment .......... ! I asked them via e-mail as I couldn't get through on the phone ( it took me hours to work up the courage as I have a real phobia about talking to people I don't know on the phone ) .

I wouldn't mind , but 11 years ago I owned my own home ,I lost everything when my husband and I divorced and his business went bust taking all the equity in the house with it . I ended up with very little and had to start again in rented property with a teenager and a pre-teen autistic..... Fun !

I'd never asked S S for support , always managed my son on my own . I wish I'd taken everything that was on offer when he was under 18 now, because now he's an adult there's no help there .

xx

[Shortnsweet54 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Helen,

also lost everything when the ex and i split, turns out he hadn't been paying the mortgage so the house went...b***ard. struggle and some and it just grinds you down, I was so very lucky to find somewhere quickly...still there now, my little piece of heaven. The couple of years after the split...nasty and some, but thankfully made it.

WHERE is the help when you need it, especially in your case...wish i could help hun i really do.

thoughts and love

jan xx

[Hidden]

Don't give up Helen. Like you I think in a previous life I must have been so selfish and evil which is why I have had this life. The whole housing system is wrong and isn't it amazing when you ask for help from SS they can't help. What exactly do they do?

I know you ate fed up fighting for everything but don't let the system break you.

Gentle hugs. Xx

[colleenofminster]

Helen so sorry about your clinical depression. You are correct it is very difficult to get any help with that. I have been told that as I dont have bi-polar or schizophrenia or drug problems that there is not the funding to offer me help. I have been offered the possibility of some counselling as I just had a major crisis in March. Your problems put my own into perspective Helen and you sound like an amazing brave lady. xx

[Hidden]

Helen you poor thing, I really feel for you reading your message. I have felt that desperate myself, in fact for almost 20 years of my adult life it was hell, you name it, it happened. Sometimes we feel that we just can't keep fighting, that the battle's been running too long. The amazing thing about the human spirit is that we do keep fighting, we fight for our children!

It is disgusting who are given priority for housing these days when real cases like yours are pushed aside. To house three adults in a one bedroomed bungalow is terrible, yet they house families from abroad in mansions or posh hotels! It makes me fume!

Regarding your anal fissures, my goodness they are painful. My son had them when he was small resulting in an operation to repair. It seems inhuman that you have to wait so long to see the surgeon, Have they agreed to surgery? Surely this can be chased up bearing in mind you are bleeding. It takes energy to keep contacting them to chase it all up, but if you manage to bring the date forward it has to be worth it. Weeks of bleeding and burning soreness isn't fair on you, surely they realise this. Give them a call, tell them your symptoms, you don't need this on top of your Fibro etc.

Have you tried popping along to the CAB (Citizens' Advice Bureau), they should be able to give you advice on housing whether council, private rental and relevant benefits.

Please post your concerns in our forum, we can't do much but we can be here for you. Sometimes just having someone out there who cares can mean so much, we do care Helen we really do! Take care and keep fighting, you will win this fight, you have to for your son, for you and for your partner. I think we all feel the same, we wish we could help you. Take care.