my life: sorry

sorry to anyone who i offended with my blog that was just a curse word, i hope i did'nt offend people to much, i just feel lost i have'nt had any relief in weeks now feel as if i am gripping onto my mind with my finger tips, i am so tired mentally and phyiscally the thoughts over the past few days have all been down, i'm forty one say i live till i'm sixty five thats twenty years of this, i honestly don't think i can do it, this is'nt a life, i'm having really dark thouhts at the moment, phoned my doctor but he's away on holiday going to ask for counselling the last thing that i enjoyed doing was my but it's beat me used to give me such peace of mind sitting in it with lovely flowers everywhere, i can either lie in bed or take that much tablets im wiped don't have a clue what's going on, giving up seems easier than struggling on. go bless the people on this site, i've my fingers crossed that tomorrow might be better so anyone who reads this please say a prayer for me so that i might have the strengh to carry on.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

14 Replies

  • Hi hagi, well you really dident offend me hunni, i felt your pain and frustration ;-( I think most of us have been there at some point with this bloody fibro along with all the other illness'es we have to deal with day in day out. Bless you and try to stay strong i will say a prayer for you to find the strentgh to get through this dark patch in your life, i dont ever think of the future i just take day by day, maybe you should get counselling, i had a councillor for a year, just after being diagnosed, and i think it helped. Is there not a stand in doctor at your surgery who you could see ?? Tomorrow is another day hun and i hope its a brighter day for you i'm sending you loadsa love and Big gentle hugs and strentgh

    love Jackie xxxxxxxxx your in my prayers X

  • hi hagi,you did not offend me,i will say a prayer for you could you not see another doc,just to help you..fibro is not a nice thing to have but we must carry on the best we can..i really feel for you maybe you do need counselling god bless you

    prayers for you

    bob xxx

  • aww lv you certainally didnt offend me...god iv already been asked not to say SHIT by the admin but have just said it in support of you and every1 else who wants to curse(watch me get told off)...well what the sorry your in a place where we all go from time to time.what iv learnt since iv become a member of this wonderful family is that we all have different pain barriers,so what maybe bad for me may not be to some1 else and so on.please bob lv try to hang in you have any help fm family dad went to heaven in march (i tell you this not for smypathy)but cos i had the worst bout ever cos of upset etc and iv never mentioned this before to this lovely family but i had the thoughts your having,not cos of my lovely dad leaving us but cos of the f**king pain that Mr fibro the little SH*T was giving me(free of charge,i might add) and its not the 1st time iv had them but somehow i found the strength to not to give Mr fibro the bloody plantpot what he wanted...dont no where i found it but i tell you bob lv,if i can find it you certainally can...i pray for my family every night or day depending when or if i sleep(just like the rest of you).im sending you some smiles for you to use later.they dont have a sell-by-date so they wont go off

    :) :) :) :) :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    lots of strength and cuddley hugs

    fm me



  • Hi bless you did not offend me but i thought that you may someone and i know we are not allowed to put words like thatn on here as i have sen i ti before where admin will star it out , but i t is horrible when you feel like that but you are doing the rihhjt thing asking fo r counselling that sounds like a step in the right direction,

    It is a horrible feeling when you fel so dam low you feel the only way and the best way to go is just to leave this plain ansd put yourself out of the misery you are in but the thing is it is those you leave behind to pick up the pieces and you will ruin the rest of theirlives they will spend it termoil thinking why what did i do what didnt i do and thats not fair and i am sure you would not want to put them through that, i know this to be fact as someone close their father commited suicide just over a year ago and the family are still stuck they cant move on it is wful to see them still suffering but the sad thing is he isnt he has achieved what hwe wanted and yes he left them all notes etc but that is not enough to make them feeel happy in themdelves

    but good luck with the counselling and i hope that you start to feel a bit better soon i t will cime and go those feelings we all have thenm from time to time

    love to you diddle x

  • I know how you feel about the future. when I get down I always think like that, it'll be 45 years til I can retire at least if they don't change it again lol. it can pointless. but then from this website I've seen that this illness generally takes such active busy people and makes us have to consider everything we do in our lives. it tends to make us focus on the positive people, and only put effort where it is deserved, ans find happiness in everywhere. for example diddle is happy because she has seen her friend, daughter ans grandson, she may not have been able to see her family and friends as often as she does now. I have a select group of friends but I know they truly care about me, and my sister comes to stay often to help me which she might not do if I was well. I know its difficult but try to see this slightly positively that it has given you time to focus on the important things. I hope you are feeling better this morning x x x x

  • Ive sent you a fb message, hang in there, we re all here to help

  • I feel so deeply for you and I will pray for you. I can identify with you so much at this time its one hour at a time bless you sue xx

  • God bless hagi, it is a difficult feeling having this condition & lot have been in a rock & a hard place.

    We are a loving caring family on hear and hope that the love and responce will lift your spirits & say a prayer for you.

    I know it is hard & it is not something we normaly say our fibromite family....please stay strong & no one takes offence we have been there, take each day at a time.

    Lots of love & prayers to you, soft hugs mary xxx.

  • I totally understand your frustration. Its awful living like it. However, we do have to LIVE with it and we all have to find a way of coping. Whilst you are getting stressy and angry at the world I think you may be making yourself worse..... At some point you are going to HAVE to find a way to deal with this in a way that is acceptable to you. We all do different things....Try really hard to keep a diary of what you eat, how you did it make you feel better or worse etc. Maybe you could try and focus on something like that...... You are having such a horrible time, and when I get like that (which is often) I try to distract myself by doing something positive.. I cant think of anything else to suggest right now...fibro fog!! Uggh.. Big hugs love x

  • Dear Hagi

    It's strange but true that one word can speak volumes! (F.....iddlesticks!)

    As others have said, we all get like that sometimes, just want a break from the pain & frustration that fibro so generously gives us.

    You must allow yourself some P.L.O.M. time, that stands for "poor lillte old me"! Set yourself an hour or two to rant, rave, cry & swear if you want, whatever helps YOU. I normally give myself an hour, full of why me self pity, & sobbing. It does you no good to bottle it up. Before the hour is up I become bored with myself & find something more cheerful to do!

    Try & see another dr. yours may be on holiday but sadly fibro isn't. Wish we could club together & buy it a one way ticket to the moon!!!!! Theres a thought!

    I think counselling will help, you can say things to them that you can't to family & friends.

    Hope it helps to know me & others care about you, I do so wish you get your head settled soon. Thinking of you, gentle hugs xx

  • bless you, Hagi, we all understand how you're feeling. we've probably all been there. I certainly have. it took me several years to understand why I felt like I did all the time. it takes time to accept, adapt and learn how to deal with this condition, especially when it's not the only condition you have.

    please hold on, one minute at a time, one hour at a time. you've got family. they're important. try and find something good in each day. take what small comfort you can from each day. and mostly importantly, talk to people, be it in person, on the phone or on here.

    hugs xx

  • hagi , i think the majority of us feel like you at times ,i certainly do , since i have had fibro and other health issues since i was 35 numerous swear words have been said through my lips and probably most of the other peoples who are on here!

  • my dad, bless his cotton socks, instead of saying "sh*t", he said scheherazade lol. I was used to it, but it did make others laugh :-D

  • I so think that the people on these pages are wonderful, i have only just started blogging because, i usually keep myself to myself, am very private really, but i can't help but laugh at some of the things you all say on here, along with the moaning, which i do quite often, though i do try to stay upbeat if i can. its such a relief to know i am not alone with this anymore and i would like to thank you fibromites lol for excepting me. anyway, please dont do anything daft, just come on here when you feel down, im sure there will be someone on at most times of the night, as most of us dont sleep, maybe just chatting with someone, for a while can help you . thanks to all xx

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