well hello everyone, have a hundred things to say, was reading a few blogs there and nothing seems to have changed since i was last on, played with grandkids today for the first time in ages feel as if i've been had the crap beat out of me, so no sleep tonight. people are still expressing thier fustration at getting their friends to listen, well i had a heart attack, diabeties, fibro, copd as well as other things to many to mention, ha. said to a friend tonight feel as if i've been knocked down by a car, still sort of ignored it and carried on talking, i've come to the conclusion that unless you have it friends will never understand how bloody much pain we all live with, so i just went home ahhh. i'm not going to repeat myself over and over again its not worth what it does to you mentally trying to make people understand, well i was away because some time ago i thought do i want this anymore no was the answer so i tryed to commit suicide but a friend turned up found me bouncing of walls and empty boxes of tablets everywhere, so i then found myself being put into a mental hospital seen the doctors told them what i was going through, gave me a lecture about pulling myself together and having to except the changes that were going on in my life, turns the consultant was a dick didn't really believe in fibro, turns out there were four or five other women there who also had tryed to commit suicide because of the pain and having no one to understand, partners who didnt support them etc. they as well as myself were giving no help the consultant cut there tablets told them to go for walks, i told him in very plain terms he was'nt to lay a finger on my meds, i had women shaking with pain tears rolling down their faces, being told to go for a sleep, try a walk, unbelieveable if you had of seen these people, i ended up sneaking them a few of my hidden stash of tablets to try and help them, but amongst our wee group we found so must comfort just talking, the relief of people who knew without saying words what we each felt, so for people who have a group near them def go to it as its better than any tablet, but the anger i felt at the staff who left these women in this pain, how can so many people from all over the world be feeling the same pain having the same mental probs, with a lot of people being left to get on with alone and in isolation be wrong how can some consultants still not believe in it how can they be consultants if they are that bloody stupid that they cannot see what is in front of there own faces, i walked out, i was offered to go to a place to do gardening and a day centre thing for people with learning diffficulties, i couldnt garden a window box, i don't have learning difficulties, so i thanked them for nothing and left, but i still never gave up, bit of advise wait till your in agony and then go mad on the phone, i rang everyone o.t's social services doctor physio everyone i could think of worked a bit i got a new fence of the housing, new hand rails new walking stick have disability social worker calling shower stool kitchen stool thingy have an appoint with doctor on fri have been told to ask for the community nurse as they can provide a free bed like you can get in hospital that you can adjust for comfort, so people if your friends don't listen leave them behind, find a group near you and shout as loud as you can at these agencies make them help you pester them till they do, we need to be listened to, well bloody hell that was a bit of a rant, sweet hugs to all. hagi xxxxxx
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