im a complete b888tch!

i am really annoyed at myself i have a great partner who is caring and understanding but i have been being soo nasty to him for a couple of weeks now and i cant stop myself but by the same rule i feel really bad afterwards ! whats wrong with me ! i look in the mirror and hate the way ive put on weight im in pain more than ever so having to go to bed early i cant do the housework which is getting me stressed as he does it but not right:( last night i had the biggest migraine too which is still hanging on today :( i actually hate my life so bad at the moment i dont know how to change it! im also not like this usually so thats making me feel more uptight with myself ......someone help with words as im so down at the moment ?? i hate this pain

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  • Hi there,

    It is so rotten when we are in so much pain and feel so down that it affects our moods and how we behave towards others. I have found that when I am like that, the best thing for me to do is to try and explain to the person. Often I cant sit them down and say the words, but sometimes an email will work or chatting on msn or the phone, even if they are in the next room. I know it is hard not to have feelings of hate towards yourself when you are feeling like this, so communicate them to your partner who knows you better and they will be able to help you feel better and ease your upset. Do you have anything that you do that can take your mind of your feeling depressed and upsettng thoughts? I sometimes force myself to have a mini pamper, or put a funny film on, go for a gentle walk or something. Or if I am having a really bad pain day, just ask someone for a cuddle. Even for a minute, that cuddle, will work wonders on your mood and it really does pick you up. I know it might sound lame what I am saying, but sometimes it is the simple things that make the biggest difference.

    I hope you will feel better and be able to talk to your partner, it might make the difference. I am here if you wanna talk more,

    Sarah x

  • Hi fairytails , your post could actually have been written by me so I know exactly how you feel.

    Firstly , being ill is NOT your fault . Secondly, your partner is with you because he loves you, if he didn't he wouldn't stick around.

    I posted on face book the other night how I was feeling and my husband read it , I'd posted pretty much what you said above about feeling depressed and sad, fed up and had enough . I try not to tell him how I'm feeling because life is tough for him as well at the moment.

    He read it the next day and came into the bedroom and gave me a hug , he told me he is here because he loves me and that the rough times go with the smooth , that it wasn't my fault I was ill ....

    Being in constant pain and fatigue isn't going to make us be the most cheerful of people , that's something we just have to accept.

    Have you talked to your partner about how you're feeling ?

    Big squidgy but gentle hugs for you.

    Helen xxx

  • Hi , sweetie , i feel for you , my man is an absolute sweetie and i find myself being very sharp with him sometimes because of the pain . Ive put on about 7 stone in the last 5 years , 2 in the short time ( 2 years ) weve been together , and when i was slim and working i used to tell a friend of mine if on those days when I look in the mirror and dont like what Isee , I focus on something , anything about myself that i think looks ok then i start to feel better about myself , I must admit it is a bit of a challenge at the moment but my nails are looking nice . Im now trying mindful breathing , where i take a few mins to do some deep breathing . Maybe you need to have a word with your gp , see if theres anything they can help you with . hope you feel better soon x

  • hi ya unfortunatley i know how you feel my moods have been getting the better of me lately and its my parents that have been getting it but they are very understanding and supportive i spoke to my mum about my moods the other day and told her they are doing my head in and im going to speak to my doc about them i go see him tomoz just try and speak to your partner and im sure he will understand just tell him how you feel and dont forget to let him know its not him and its not his fault its not yours either hun but we have to be positive and say to me fibro oi hang on a min you might be able to take most of my life away but your not going to take it all and fight him you can do it you have come this far we all get down i do but i have learned to give myself a kick up the backside and i have great friends and parents that also do the same sometimes we just need a little push in the positive direction try and relax dont let the pain beat you but have a word with your doc k hope you feel better soon hun big gentle hugs xxx

  • hey hun.im exactly like that lately have the man of my dreams but have soo much going in my life and soo much worry that i find myself turning into a complete cow with him.

    he doesnt deserve it and i worry he wont hang around for much longer.meant to be marrying him next year.

    dont beat yourself up too much.he understands im sure.he loves you and clearly understands.

    its a horrible illness to have and ive put on weight.myself.

    but if he loves you he wont change how he looks at you.

    you have our complete support and sympathy always.hugs

  • It's not your fault I think we are all like that it's part of the illness, for me

    It's easy as I nurse in a prison I don't mean to,be nasty but I am afraid

    That I am at times I think they all hate me, but am I bothered

    It's just every thing that gets you down you need a chill out day

    Go for a swim or have your hair done, or buy your self some thing

    You can't help it it's just every thing gets on your nerves, I expect

    That he tries to help but does not do,things the same as you,

    You have to accept that you have changed. And can't do the things you

    Once did and what does house work matter any way don't look, put your

    Arms round your man and have a good cry and cuddle.

    Hugs viv

  • Hi fairutails,sorry to hear you are so down at the moment,but do what the others say and have a good hug with your hubby.

    For the first time in years I really wish I had someone,just to put their arms around me and tell it will all be O.K.

    Realising I need that human contact more than I ever knew.

    Love and hugs Butterfly54xxxxx

  • thankyou all for your lovely words yesterday sorry to vent like that hope you all have lovely pain free weeks xxxx

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