Fibromyalgia Action UK
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So fed up

Am having a really bad day, have been bad tempered all day, snapping at my husband and then hating myself for it but then feeling like I am not getting emotional support from him, I feel so alone at the moment, the pain is just wearing me down, I'm crying a lot, I hate being like this, I feel so bloody useless, I just wish there was a cure for this horrible condition and that we all could be free of it :(

11 Replies

Hi NessH

I am so very sorry to read that you are feeling this way, and I genuinely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to your pain and how you feel emotionally. I understand completely where you are coming from and why you feel the way that you do, as Fibro is a horrid illness that can really bring you down. I want to wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you



Hi Ness,

I am sorry you are in so much pain and having a tough day.

Chronic pain can wear anyone down; you are not alone in feeling isolated because of the pain and the potential effects upon relationships with self and with others.

The immediate sense of loneliness can add to the level of distress.

At times, when we feel useless, we may find it helpful to remember our intrinsic value.

We see worth in others when they cannot perform physical chores; I hope we can see our own worth in the same light.

Your need to cry is likely a healthy release of emotions, as frustrating as it may seem.

What do you find helpful at times like this?

Any chance your physician can help you more with the pain level?

I hope you can rest in peace and comfort tonight, Ness.

Tomorrow is a new day! :)

In Support,



I can so relate Ness. My fiance Dave really trys to understand. He's not bad a it, but he doesn't want to talk about it much. He often doesn't comment when I say things and that hurts. But I kind of get it I think. Some men have trouble expressing themselves and I know that his work takes a lot of his energy.

But I still feel the loneliness. I hope you can find more support nearby. Maybe you have friends or family you can reach out to? I know you would like to get it at home, but it isn't always so easy.

I think there is some hope for us being able to be medically treated. There is certainly research being done on alternate theories of what fibromyalgia may be, and how to put a name to it that will make it be recognizable as a true disease, something we already know. But if the scientists, the medical community, can legitimize it better for our GPs and the public, it will help us immensely.

Well, that doesn't help much in the meantime . . . Crazy_horse, Ken, and so many of the members on this site relate to what you are feeling. This is a great forum to get help and support. And to just rant, rave, and cry when you need it.

Hugs to you, however virtual they may be, they are sincere.


Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I know exactly where you are coming from. I have woken up in a lot of pain this morning and have a full day at work ahead of me. My energy levels are on the floor. I have recently bought an electric blanket and whenever I get a spare 20 minutes I stop everything and go and have a lie down. It has helped a little. Do you take any medication? Take care xx


What a brilliant idea thanks for the tip.


Hi Ness, as Clare said, there are many of us on this forum that totally understand how you feel. Like you my partner tries to understand, he is often in a lot of pain so that does help. I have had several days now where the pain has been really bad, I know it's not a flare just me doing too much for too long, so it is my own fault in a lot of ways.

My partner doesn't really do emotions, if things get so bad that I am crying he tends to do what he can to avoid me, not because he doesn't care but because he doesn't really know what to do and it could be that your husband is the same. It can be very frustrating but at the end of the day there is nothing that I can do to change his reactions so I simply have to accept that this is how it will be and move on.

The frustrations about not being able to do things we did before and the loneliness that strikes when we feel no one else understands or because this awful condition has robbed us of friends are almost worse than the pain at times and there is little that we can do about that other than try to come to terms with it and then plan to do what we can do to make life bearable.

I hope today is a better day for you, sending gentle hugs your way,



Ness, I hope today is a better day for you! :)

If not, simply reach out again. ;)



Hi I've had FMS since 2004 and my husband still doesn't have a clue how much pain and discomfort I'm in ever day all day, all he wants to do is go away visiting friends and I don't all I want to do is rest


Hi Ness :)

I am agreeing with Clare and Linda, my husband also tries very hard to understand and emotions can be difficult to control at times when he clearly doesn't. I have to remind myself that if I don't understand what is going on, then how can he? he has depression and anxiety issues like me but completely differing circumstances so we dance around each other a lot.

You're not alone in the way that you feel and we are always here to help you get through the good and the bad days of Fibromyalgia :)

Have you spoken to your GP about the way you are feeling? they may be able to help you with that. I hope you're feeling a bit better soon :)

Soft fluffies of comfort for you {{{{ Ness }}}}

xxx sian :)


Get to your doctors as an emergency tomorrow and don't take no for an answer!


I just want to thank you all for your kind comments, they really did help and to know that I am not the only one who feels like this is a comfort. I have had a better day today, still been in pain but better than yesterday thankfully, I have also been to see my Dr this morning and she has upped my pregablin dose for the time being to see if that helps and I am to go back and see her to see how I am doing. My Husband has been very understanding really and I know he doesn't do emotional stuff very well but I know that he does care really and he has just booked for us to go on a mini spa break in April so that is something to look forward too :)


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