I want to work, but work is defeating me. How do I give up and survive?

I had a really bad time last week. Got really low - really should avoid analysing what I can no longer do as it brings me down. Ended up in a real state sobbing my heart out. Things were no worse really but now my mother is even more on the bandwagon of me leaving work. Gave me a phone number for Social Care.

They came back to me with telephone numbers of people who could help and, guess what? they suggested I get DLA! I already get it for mobility and do not qualify for home care as I can look after myself too well.

Also info@esda.org.uk, esda.org.uk. [thought someone else may need this too].

The thing is, it is likely that I will have to give up my current employment as I have to recover every night and its very rare I can get enough energy to take my scooter and dog out. How can I afford to stop working though?

9 Replies

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  • This is something I'd like to know but nobody will give me a straight answer. I'll be watching your answers with interest!!

  • so will i xxx

  • I think every one who goes to,work is the same,

    I don't know how I do it I am a nurse in a prison

    I only work 22 hours but is very stressful.

    As I write this I am off sick again, I seem to be

    Able to work for a while and thence it catches up with

    Me. I am lucky I don't have any other health issues

    So I don't know how,people cope who do, it's just

    A case of you have to other wise how do we live

    I wish you all the luck in the world, but remember your

    Health comes first and there is always a way out of

    Things we just have to find it

    Hugs viv

  • i am sorry , its so hard , i had to give up my job as a nurse in a high dependence y unit , it was hard work, when i packed up we claimed working tax credit, it was fine the first year, but now they say they had over paid us and have cut our money down by over half, it such a struggle, i am trying for dla but that has been hard , also having to stay at home, it gives me to much time to think and i get down, i feel no good for anything, but i am going to try a new sewing class as i feel if i stay as i am i will get even more down, all i can say is if you pack up work try and find something as soon as poss to do , don't leave it like i have as it becomes even harder, as for money we have cut right down to basics , got rid of car number 2 and down to basic tv package, i have started to cook a bit , but hubby has to be there as i cant get things out of oven as i tend to drope them , good luck , sue xx

  • Is there anything that could be done to mean that you could stay in work? Access to Work might be able to help if so.

  • Thanks everyone. Access to Work already in action thank you. I have a battery chair to get around, wheelchair to get in and back out, office chair for in class and 6 taxi rides a week. Without them I would not have been able to get back into work.

    However I have been off sick so much and it all adds up! I had 3 more sick days left to go before the stage 3 meeting and am off sick today so I now have one left and that has to last until the school summer holidays or the meeting will occur!

    I have alerted my Union [previously] so they will be with me when/if it happens. I am so tired of trying to stay well. Last week I broke down through the stress and depression hit. Today its some kind of bug. Threw up and released bowels at the same time. Not nice as I only had the loo available. Soooo annoying as the next few weeks are easy ones!

    Anyway, fear the worst and thought I would ask. Plan to request a cut in days down to four at meeting. Feel its inevitable really.

    My Mum wants me to leave. She thinks I could get a job with The British Red Cross as they must need workers. Its a risk and I am not a risk taker. However I have contacted them to see whether they would have anything thats less stressful. Although, to be honest, I don't find my work stressful!

    Whats that about working tax credit?

    Soft hugs all - wish there was an easy answer!

  • I'm pondering the same thing. I'm off sick at the moment but am due back at the beginning of July. I work full time but know that I shouldn't,my husband injured his back last year & now can't work on doctors advice but he got turned down for DLA so there's only my money coming in, IF i make it through the day at work I know that I'm going to fall apart when I get home which means zero family time, Me & my kids are missing out on so much because I'm a wreck when I get in & I know that I'm making the flare ups much worse & closer together by trying to work full time!

  • I really hope he goes for an appeal with as heavy a support as possible. Lay it on thick. Doctors, friends, family - everyone who has witnessed your husbands problems. Back this up yourself and even get legal help through Citizens Advice. Hope you have DLA? If not, apply. I have it on mobility - or should say lack of. They need to know the whole picture. Maybe consider reducing your hours rather than lose your job? Then you may be more able to cope physically and emotionally and put less stress on your whole situation.

    Wish you all the best.

    Soft hugs

  • Reading this just sets me into a panic about the future. I am begining to think that I may not be aboe to cope with current work for much longer but am so worried about ballancing the books if I can't work.

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