really can not cope anymore

Am in a flare & now my pelvis/hip has gone mental.....3 days of constant severe pain & also a stabbing pain that shoots across hip into middle of my lower pelvis & further down if you see wat I mean.....have had no sleep, maxed out on pain meds, can't drive my autistic son to school & it is my darling Nan's funeral on Friday morning & I really don't know how I am going to be able to get in the car to do the one & half hour journey down there, let alone cope with church service & then half hour at grave side......i am supposed to be printing off memorial cards to give to people at the church, I can't even get onto the main comp to do it & try & print off 40 of them!!! Sorry, I am just at the end of my tether & this feels like the final straw.....i can not cope with this ANY more.....it will kill me to not be able to do these cards & be at my Nan's funeral & I am at a point where I just want this to stop....sorry, going coz crying now, thank you for letting me rant on.....love & gentle hugs to you all, Janey xx

8 Replies

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  • oh bless you ,you go a head and go on as much as you like ,try to stop thinking of how much you have to do ,i know its hard to do that ,but just take a step back deep breath ,

    you sound like the kind of person who will get through it hun ,why dont you just exsplane to people that you are really poorly ,and you bought the cards instead

    thats one thing off the list ,im sure you nan wouldnt have minded ,or get another reletive to do it for you ,

    getting even more stressed wont help the pain levels

    sending you lots of love and big huge gentle hugs xxxxxx

  • Thanks Lynz, it is a piece of A5 card which will have my Nan's photo, dates & name & then on the reverse would be a poem that I chose, which was to be my very small contribution as due to having a very large family I can't do a reading during the service, which I did for both of my paternal grandparents in the last 3 years, so this is so important that I have 'been allowed' to do something.....i am the closest, was the closest to my Nan out of 13 grandchildren....none of them can be bothered but it pisses them & my aunts off that I 'intefere' & fight to get the right thing for her.....in the past 2 years I have been with her thro various hospital visits/stays, moved her to a different care home after she was being mistreated & had to organise her transfer to a nursing home when the care home could clearly not manage her dementia anymore.....but it is just frowned on by my aunts, I think because it just brings home how feckin useless & uncaring both they & my cousins are..........so I am made to feel like sh*t for loving & caring for my Nan.

  • Sorry, just realised I swore....should have been a ** in pi**ed off.....sorry if that offended anyone, I would hate to do that. xx

  • Im sure your nans very proud of you, you must have loved her very much, take things easy

  • Hey a lot going on with you at the moment, can anyone help you friends maybe, if not do not be tough on yourself, when your nan needed you you where there, sadly she has left but I am sure she would not want you in this state.

    I once had to attend my brothers wedding which my children where paigeboy and bridesmaid, the children and i know how bad I was no one else, we made it through the day but now I would say sorry no can do. It is an example of how bad things can be that they remember to this day :-(

    Soft hugs xxx

    Penny

  • Thanks for the replies....i didn't think things could get any worse really, but had a letter from bloody hm revenues & customs demanding I pay back the overpayment of child tax credits of £754!!! I was getting it along with the high rate dla for my son......then a year later they decided they shouldn't have paid me as much.......where the hell do they expect me to get that money from??? Even if I paid it off over the maximum of 12 months they will let me have, it eats up all of my sons dla, carers allowance & some of hubby's wages.....how the hell can they justify that, all because they changed the rules, but didn't apply them until a year later.....if I had had ANY idea that I was being paid more than should be I would have left it in the bank......but strangely, due to son's disability we actually need/needed the money or we wouldn't have been claiming it in the 1st plce....& now, because of them, my son is going to suffer & we will have to seriously cut back on spending on groceries to pay them back!!! Sorry, I know that this isn't fibro related, but its just the last straw....have been sat here sobbing my heart out with my poor doggy looking at me like I have gone mad!

  • that hapend to my daughter and son in law they were geting tax credits, and mick rang them 4 times sayoing he thought he was geting way to much , all 4 calls he was told no hes geting the right amount...he had to pay back 3,000.......

  • i will say that its cripeld them they are now leaving the area and moving 300 miles away, giving up 2 good jobs,and starting fresh hoping the council will give them a house.....the morgage company have taken there own home back off them.......thanx to them tax credits people.......

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