really don't know if i can carry on with this anymore

i feel as though this thing has taken everything away from me, and i don't know if i can really cope with this anymore on top of everything else, i really don't. i just don't know who i am anymore. what ever title i had i have lost. last year hubby went year before lost my job and all down to this stupid illness. on top of everything my son now tells me he wants to quit uni, with only one year left to go. i just feel if i had still been working and been able to go and visit him more often while he was at uni, he would have still been inspired to to carry on because i was pushing on through.

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  • AWWW come om now please try to get over this , we all have these phases in our lives that we have to get over and i do feel for you but i dont think it is through yout fibro that your son has decided to quit uni i think it jus feels that way and when we are low we see things differently and we put the blame on us which then makes us feel more depressed we are silly things at times you are jus going through a bad patch we all have them and when we do it is horrible tyou just want to cry but things will get a little better i am sure , i try to think of people wirse of than i am that normally works , well for a bit

    i do hope you are ok bless you love to you diddle x

  • Ph no hun diddle is right your son has his own mind hes a grown man.dont blame yourself.

    We are all ill and cant help.you were not at fault for anyone of the above

    Life just does this and we cant change it.

    I feel low and then i think of my kids and fella.

    Please your not alone so dont think you are ever okay?

    Things will figure them selves out.

    Im like diddle i always say tberes someone worse off than ourselves.

    Lots hugs xx

  • hunny your life is like eating an elephant you can never eat it in one sitting an elephant has to beeaten one bite at a time. take time to smell the roses think about the wonderful things you have coped with each new day looks after itself take it one day at a time.just when you hit the floor and are convinced there is no hope you will fing some. huggies from me petal

  • Big big hugs for you,it's not easy living with this illness that's for sure and we all get down and things really get on top of us,I'm up and down like a yo-yo. Things can go terribly wrong but that doesn't mean your life is over,it means your life is changing and there's not much we can do about that but go with the flow. If your son wants to give up uni there must be a good reason,maybe he has realised this path he has chosen isn't right for him? I would be disappointed too,have you talked it over with him? All you can do is guide him but he had to make his own decisions and I don't think that has anything to do with you having fibro? My daughter just failed her maths entrance exam for sixth form and I do wish I had been able to help her but she chose not to revise as much as she should have,she thought she didn't need to as she is bright but she has learnt a lesson now. I'm rubbish at maths anyway. Even more since since having fibro but I'm not beating myself up over it. Her dad has gone mental at her( we r no longer together thank goodness) I don't think shouting at her is the answer,she is a sensible girl and she has made a mistake that she can put right. Just be there for your son as you have been,yes we can't do as much as we would like but that's how it is now for millions of us. You don't really want to give up your just sick of things going wrong.

  • I echo all that's been said. My Son did the same thing, but I was too soft on him as trying to be Mum and Dad. I have been on my own since he was born and had Fibro for the last 5 years but was I'll before that. He is driving a bus now and is on decent money. Not quite the career I hoped he would have but it is down to himself he is too lazy lol they find their own way eventually. You are in a bad place now but will come out of it. Chat to your Gp, sometimes just talking helps. As Diddle says think of people worse off than you. I do that on my darkest days and it can help. Unfortunately depression can come with Fibro so it is important to seek help if other suggestions don't help. I have had depression for a long time and there are days I can't get out of bed, or don't get washed and dressed. To be honest it is my Son who keeps me going :) so keep positive for your Sons sake. Take care and hope knowing other people know how you feel helps you

  • Thanks sue, and all others. the thing is sue thats my problem im always thinking of others and putting them before myself and then getting let down by them all or taken advantage of, but i can't help putting them first its something i've always done. i always end up feeling like a right mug for it which dosent help.

  • hi gloglo

    I understand exactly how u feel, i get that feeling quiet often, and we all feel if only we could be the person we use to be things in life would be in our control, I think probably your son would have made the same decsion wether u had fm or no theyve all got i mind of there own and they never take advice from mum.

    Ive got 3 children dean 44yrs emma 42yrs and glenn 35yrs and they have all made big mistakes in there lives because they would never listen, all u can do is be there for your son if things go wrong which im sure uwill be you sound like a good mum.

    I was diagnosed with fm 7yrs ago but i know i had it 7yrs before that, i lost my job because of fm and have got worse since then, but i am 65yrs old, I do feel for u young ones with your life in front of u.

    A proffessor Woolf who specialises in fm told me make a list of what u want to do that day tear it in half and if u do one thing on that half then u can say u have had a good day. I think the only answer is to pace yourself and listen to your body it takes time but u will get there.Please please beleave me we all get as low as u are feeling now, try not to let fm get u down its a fight but worth fighting for especially when u have a lovely sonxx love and best wishes tenaj xxxxx

  • Hi Gloglo.

    I know exactly where your coming from,at times we all feel like that but giving in is not the answer.We all make mistakes some bigger than others but at the end of the day when our children become adults we have to let them make their own mistakes and find their own way in life and all we can do is be there for them if and when they fall.

    As for myself i have a different life now a very painful life ! and i would love my old life back where i could work do my own housework etc.

    But as my doctor said life is very unfair.Why should i have 3 illness's that there is no cure.

    Fibro / Diabetes / and an Under Active Thyroid. Then to be turned down for DLA just adds insult to injury.

    Take Care and be Strong

    Carol x

  • Boxter i feel for your because just having diabetes alone is bad enough never mind having the other two on top. babe i wish you well; and as for the DLA oh lord! and to think they are going to hand over medicals to a private security firm to assess us. they really have no idea what we go though on a daily basis. You could wake up fine; but then within a few hours you can go down hill so fast.

    Carol pls reapply for it. a lot of the time they will turn people down the first time just to see how badly someone needs it, just because they know we hate going through the fiilling of forms and interviews and medicals they hope it puts us off from contesting their decsion. honey go ahead and appeal (thats the word i'm looking for). you can get help from the CAB (citezen advice) they have lawyers who will put the case together for your and go to the tribunal. don't let them put you off appealing. xxxxxx

  • Hi Gloglo,

    Thank you for your kind words and yes i will appeal and appeal again.I did ring them and asked them to post the reports from my GP and the Atos Doc,i was told i would receive them in about 14 days.2 Days later i got a letter from them saying my claim is going to be looked at again (i never asked them to do that).My Nephew who's wife suffered with leukemia claimed DLA for her,the claim was successful told me that they refuse just about every claim in the hope that people will just not bother to appeal,So will see what happens it did state on the letter it could take up to 11 weeks for a reply.We certainly have to be patient i will let you know how i get along.

    Are you on facebook as i have made a few facebook friends on here,it's sometimes easier to chat on there.

    Take Care

    Carol X

  • email me at gw004b1940@hotmail.com and i will send you my i.d. on facebook. so glad your case is been looked at again and i do hope things will be sorted out. If they were to know what we go through on a day to day basis they would think again about messing around with out benefits; .... or would they.

    look forward to talking to you on face book love.

    xxgloria

  • good afternoon all, just like to say thank you all for your comments, i know your right and yes i do get down with this fibro but at the time i was at my wits end with this son of mine. But as you all say and i myself say, he is now grown and the decsion is his i can't force him to do it and carry on wasting tax payers money. My blood pressure has now gone down and i can breath again. i just get these episodes where i just feel so down even without such such pressure then the next day or two it's as though nothing has happened it makes me wonder if its my tablets that make me like that. Anyway sorry for that stupid rant the other day. i can see clearly now. lol

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