Senior Nurse 'Occupational Health' Officer takes it upon herself to diagnose me! Follow up on Occupational Health pahh

I have got to say, she actually cowed me into silence. She made comments that I could have used to argue with, but I felt it would not make any difference. Once I felt that she did not believe me I gave up. I DO NOT feel like giving up now and wish I had had someone stronger with me as my husband, much as I love him, is too weak to deal with this for me. I think he must have been bullied at school because he cannot speak up for himself or me and won't talk about any memories and never has. He is not generally weak though so dont think too ill of him.

I have to go into work on Monday, fill out the forms of absence and hand in the sick note for my back - oh yes, she said, sorry got to quote her here:

'Fibromyalgia is a weakness of the muscles, the symptoms can vary from person to person, but basically that is what it is and you don't have it'

This was prompted because I can cope using a wheelchair down the corridor whilst pushing a computer chair in front of me, resting my feet on the base. I have pain in my thighs all the time, but they are relatively strong, except when I try to walk far or stand for long. I have never said they are weak, but my back is getting weaker by the week. My sypmtoms are increasing and its only my meds that are allowing me to cope. Was I supposed to 'pretend' and become the sponger she seemed to think I am? Sorry, getting angry again. But you do see where I am coming from, don't you? In addition I have been having physio to strengthen my leg muscles! Oh I wish I had remembered that!

I am also lucky enough to be able to walk about an office, fairly fast - because I know I can sit at any time and often forget that I am going to need to as I am overdoing it! However, an office [tiny by the way] is a big way from walking across a classroom and being able to get back! I get stuck if I do not have a computer chair with me.

This woman has never met me before and is judging me on the paperwork in front of her. On Monday I am going to ring and ask my doctor to put my diagnosis in writing for her, whilst rearranging all the blood tests etc. By the way, who is going to pay for all of this, her? No, my doctors practice which is not fair! Maybe he can talk to the Rhuematologist and get something sorted, I don't know. I have given him permission to pass on my letter and the accompanying list of ailments - oh boy but its a long one! I don't have everything at once, of course I don't, but each needs to be noted and maybe someone medical will finally back up my doctor, whose knowledge seems to be keeping me mostly out of pain - boy I forgot my meds the other night and didn't dare take them when I remembered because I could not work out whether it was a bad night or not! Didn't want to o/d. If I was making it all up my head needs examining!

Hope life is treating you better!

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  • Lynn, I absolutely agree with the advice you have given. I was an HR manager until I had to eventually give up work 5 years after diagnosis of ME/CFS (diagnosed FMS last year). Sarah, are you a union member? if so contact them for help with this.

    It never ceases to amaze me, the pure ignorance of people who are seemingly qualified to make decisions that affect people's lives.

    Your Terms & Conditions of Employment should set out the company policy of how sick absences are dealt with. If you follow this correctly, and they dont, you can raise a grievance.

    I wish you all the best Sarah. I know when I was HR manager I had to fight every day against ignorant managers who failed to see that most of their employees were people who had genuine illnesses and problems. Sorry, I could rant all day about this.

    Goog luck

  • Yes they were brought in because I had one day a month off with migraines the year before this began [Feb '11] but the one who was working then left. She was nice enough to talk through everything, step by step and explain anything I did not understand. This one just rail roaded me, however I did say I did not want to reduce my hours as I did not feel it would be helpful and would not be in my best interests. I had given permission for my medical information to be sent to her, as previously this had been helpful and not detrimental. I had read my doctors report but everything was dated up to the end of last year. I missed my last appointment. Completely forgot it. It was only the Tuesday my doctor concluded that I had FM and said he was satisfied that I had it and would say so. I wish he had written it down.

    Unfortunately I am too ditzy now to be able to make sense out of long documents. I forget what was at the beginning. My memory is flaky. Even my excellent spelling as appalling slip ups.

    This woman seemed to be on the side of work rather than mine, although she did say I was in danger of being left in limbo and needed to be diagnosed, as no diagnosis meant I could not be classified as disabled. Which worries me on another front as I am claiming DLA, however my doctor says the arthritis covers this as that is what is causing my walking problems.

    Thank you for your help. I will have alook at your link now.

  • If you get refused request to see your medical papers - you have the legal right. This way you can then retaliate and have the notes in your hand and turn tables to get them to be answerable to facts . Hard road but it can be done

  • I am so sorry to haer how you are being treated it is awful to be made to feel like you are a nothing a pain really to everyone i do hope that you get all this sorted out and hopefully you will start to feel alot better about things you take care love to you Diddle x

  • I have been there Sarah-Jane! finally after a year off sick, I was retired on ill health and never worked since, fortunately I was young enough to claim DLA (50 years old) but was too old to fight for another job. OH has a lot to answer for! You can get it sorted, if you have the strength and I hope you do. She obviously knows nothing about fibro and has no right to make a diagnosis especially one that contradicts a doctor. good luck to you, will be interested to hear how you go on :) have a good day today, soft hugs xxxx

  • Hi Sarah- jane, darlin to be there and just say im here for you as i know in many how you feel ,regards having to PROVE ,find yourself an ADVOCATE as i have done in the past as they are there for you,advising ,finding information,filling the forms and being with you at these "meetings/assesments"

    your a person darlin a human being intitled to life as many of these proffesionals FORGET as if we are just numbers.take care xxxxx

  • Lavender how do I find an advocate? Would that be someone from my Union?

  • Sarah-jane ,tap in to search for "Circles Network" its the leading

    advocacy circuit throughout the uk ,and they are there for you,i found them much more helpful than the citizen advice and also home visit, good luck and let me know how you get on.Lavender xx

  • Thank you. There is no rep on site. Previously when I contacted my Union they were unhelpful. I will try again.

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