To the tune of "Life on Mars"

I woke up in the middle of the night (as we all do) with this going round my head. If you know Life on Mars by David Bowie, sing it along with the words below.

It's a god awful small affair,

She's stuck, she can't go nowhere.

Cos her body is yelling "no!"

And she lost her get up and her go.

And her friends are nowhere to be seen

For they think she lives in a dream.

And she stares at the same old view, as she's glued to the TV scree.

Jezza Kyle, he is such a bore,

And she seen it 10 times or more.

As he shouts in the face of fools, she is sitting there groaning, oh,

Day time TV is on again

Oh my look at that Titmarsh Go!

Then the afternoon show oh, oh, oh.

Take a look at the old girls chatting up the young guys

Oh my, see Coleen Nolan Go!

It's the last adult show, oh, oh,

Before Cbb Beeeees! Yeah.

Can’t you see on her tortured brow

That her husband thinks she’s a cow

And he thinks she’s on strike again,

Cos she can’t move for the pain.

Taking painkillers by the hoard,

From Ibruprofen to well off the board.

Rues the day she went into town,

Cos she came back all worn down

And her kids think she’s such a bore,

For she has given them all the chores

She’s about to nod off again, as she tries to focus on…

Waking… up in time to make tea

Can’t eat, sleeps some, then wakes again

To a familiar refrain (cue X factor theme tune)

Take a look at the judges beefing up the wrong guy

Oh man look at that Rylan Go!

Wonders if it will show oh, oh, oh

If she nods off agaaaaaaain, oh, oh, oh….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I think it looses a bit at the end, but I had fun making it up (at 2.00am!)

Hope you like it and it rings a few bells and makes you chuckle.

XG

13 Replies

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  • Very good! I love Bowie and like the new lyrics. Especially as my day goes something like that these days. I am out of work at the moment supposed to be looking for alternative employment and was just joking with my hubby a few minutes ago about whether I could find somewhere that will let me take naps:)

  • Wow Glenys that's brilliant, I sang it all the way through too lol! I hope I did your lyrics justice lol!

    Thank you so much for posting this, it made my evening! :D

    (((hug))) xxx

    Libs

  • Thanks LZ!

    Glad you liked it :-)

    Just off to bed now - maybe I'll think of another few verses :-)

    XG

  • Don't stay awake too long Glenys! Can't wait to read your next creation! :)

    Sweet dreams!

    (((hug))) xxx

    Libs

  • very good, I sang it in my head [and now can't get it out]

    very true.

    regards,

    sandra. :)

  • that is absolutely brilliant!! poignant and perceptive.

    I've been singing it in my head too since reading it. I'm a writer of poems and vampire fiction in my spare time, so love it when someone plays with words. Kudos, Glenys!

  • by the way, would you mind if I shared your lyrics with a couple of friends who also have similar problems to us?

  • Yes, feel free to share it :-)

  • loved it , so glad i'm not the only one who changes words to songs .

    My favourite one is Hello , oh not you again , by Lionel Richie ha ha

    Take care xx

  • That sounds fun - you'll have to show us that one here too :-)

  • Absolutely brilliant put a right chuckle on my face! hugs xxx

  • Love that - was singing it in my head! :) xx

  • Well, I haven't had time to do another one yet, but I was quite pleased that I still had it in me! I wrote a few poems when I was younger , and as a singer on the club circuit I am always substituting words I have forgotten with something else that sound right at the very last minute :-)

    I do have an alternate version of "I will survive" that a friend at work gave me to sing at the pubs. It is VERY VERY rude, so can't replicate it here (chuckle).

    XG

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