Although we are all different & handle situations in different ways,what amount of emotional trauma would cause a mega flare up 😭 & possibly put you out of action for months etc.Very interested to know if possible please without answers like relaxation techniques 🙏🏻
For example a situation of up most fear that one could be exposed to.
Example constantly being questioned in a nasty sarcastic manner & not being able to walk away from it.
If you can spare the time please I would be most grateful 🙏🏻
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Fibroguy66
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Hi there, Fibroguy. I agree with Fra22, about the death of a loved one, human or animal. Doesn't hit you for a while because our survival instincts kick in and we carry on. About six weeks in (where I am now having lost my 81 year old older sister at Halloween) I find myself in an emotional soup, up one minute and down the next, especially if someone upsets me verbally, and that includes the World News. Living through grief, which fibro creates because as you are experiencing, it is a death of the self, makes many people question everything that has happened in the previous part of their lives. - For the cause as much as everything else - It's not just people in the forces who suffer from PTSD. I've read in some fibro articles online etc. that emotional and frightening events can trigger the condition to develop in many people, especially if they have occurred over a long period of time (and childhood). - I have a dear friend who did a course on co-counselling for grief after she lost her husband years ago and she was paired with a like-minded lady who had had also been bereaved. Was so helpful to her to do that. - My friend has kept going, brought up two kids, helped lots of people since and is a great listener to others.
With 'sarcasm', I agree, it's horrible when someone who should be trusted gives you negative and aggressive feedback. Especially if family. That is bullying even if they do not realise it. Bullies usually have their own problems and should not be encouraged to use their authority (if say, they are involved in PIP interviewing) to intimidate someone else into giving the answers the funding authority prefers. -Transactional skills are about empathy and listening, and what's known as 'you' messages are far too common and negative. - Kids in schools have sometimes been encouraged to very clearly say the word 'STOP' to bullies and hold a hand up with a flattened palm vertically upwards to 'empower' themselves. - Different in the workplace I should think. - This thing called the 'I' message can be effective though, (I've heard!). ie. "I feel really 'fed up (or stronger word!) when I am spoken to like that." Sounds corny but it can take the speaker aback and make them think, because it is not an aggressive response. Aggressive 'persons' certainly must be encouraged to respect your (our) reality, but the 'you' message can get their backs up because it is an accusation by return and becomes a threat to them. This technique not easy to acquire though because when you try it some folks still feel suspicious!
Your comment about exposure to fear could bear further investigation? -Fear is/was, an instinct that protects us but if it goes on and on, even the most resolute soul can get exhausted and that can spark off a lot of negative mental states and dreams. Some write a dream diary or a journal. Others stand on a mountainside and scream. - Occasionally 'the scream' has happened in my own kitchen as it helps a lot!... I think people used to do that going into battle. Warcry! Today we have so many emotive words we can use but not on this site of course!
So! To emotional flare up. These are horrible and hell to go through and with unabating fibro pain, discomfort, frustration, loss of previous self and life and the control of it, it doesn't take much to get upset by just about every set-back and then sink into a flare. Sometimes I find lying on the floor helpful because something kicks in when you realise you want or need to get up finally.
One thing that might help our down moods soon, is the return of the light now we are at Solstice. Is cause of lots of mental self questioning and depression which you will know about. - I'm typing with my lightbox on the left of me and focussing on typing this has enabled me to stop wandering about my kitchen bingeing. You have also helped me to remember some of the stuff which by learning and using it made a difference to my life and my family. I enjoyed the courses I got involved with (before fibro started eating away at my life and energy) -
As for dealing with emotional trauma .. It doesn't take much to haunt me still! I sometimes go for needles ... (acupuncture ones). Quite often the heart meridien (I think it is) gets some little prods to raise my mood and energy levels. This physical intervention really works for me and the pulses in my wrist talk to my acupuncturist about my pain and bits not working. She is another human being who accepts me as I am and believes in me. Something out there will surely work for you.
Meanwhile, a gentle Christmas hug to you and a wish that many things start going right for you this year. KJ. 🌞🎖️💐🏝️
What a wonderful, thoughtful and helpful post. Thank you. Many sympathies on the loss of your sister and best wishes for peace and light gradually returning.
Very kind of you bookish to make such a lovely and encouraging comment on my post and about the loss of my sister. She had loads of friends and adoring relatives at the Celebration of her life. - (Yoga inspired with chanting! All arranged by her amazing daughter.with health issues of her own) Just what she would have wanted!
Oh yes! Let there be peace! The sun looked lovely early this morning as it rose through the trees... I wish you a Christmas full of wonder and enjoyment and many happy times in the year to come. KJ 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️
That does indeed sound like a perfect Celebration. Thank you for your kind wishes, and mine to you. There is watery sun shining in over my shoulder, lifting my spirits x
I too suffer from SAD but just to give me another kicking (thanks Fibro) I have a very negative reaction to light 😫😎😎😎😎 If I dont wear my sunglasses (indoors too)even if the sun is not shining, the glare gets me too,
I think that's why I have become a recluse pretty much 🤔
Do you have a special colour tint for indoors, Debs? I tried green sunglasses last year to try and help headaches from outdoors. I don't suffer too much with that but it really is unfair that it affects so many people! I used to have something similar when I had just got into having more serious migraines and often wore sunglasses indoors, particularly large meeting halls. - I think my hormonal stage/age had kicked in to influence light affecting me then but that need to control glare seemed to mostly stop eventually. What I get now since at least 20 years later when standing at a north facing window at dawn is a flickering on my upper cheeks below my eyes which I learned to recognise following an eclipse where publicity on it directed me to look for the phenomenon. I found myself becoming aware of it those times when watching the dawn light come up and quite enjoy that experience sometimes because it is interesting and doesn't particularly cause pain. A sort of scientific mystery to do with light that I could ask someone in the know to explain. - I've read a kids story which talked about 'the strong North light' and also an article about not using white or grey paint in a north facing room because it make it blue... What a strange world we live in!.. I would definitely be prepared to risk a migraine if I could see one aurora in my 78 years! - Meanwhile Happy and more pain free New Year. KJ
So sad honeybug, to hear about your too many losses of those who were close to you. Seems like just too much to bear, so I hope you have a great deal of support around you to keep on coping with it. - I know nothing about narcolepsy but I hope that whatever sleep does come to you will be of the kind that helps make your flares go into remission, so you can get back to any preferred activities that could possibly bring you some inner peace. xx 💕
Thank you for your sweet reply. I feel so numb inside. I had to be in my dad’s house yesterday to help donate some furniture. There is much more to find new homes for.
Narcolepsy for me is where it’s like my brain turns off and I cannot prevent it. I’m unable to hear/respond to anything. A state of unconsciousness. It lasts until it decides to release me.
After stressful times or injuries I go through these spells. I can remember when they first started I could hear my husband talking to me but I couldn’t respond or move. Then they progressed to total unconsciousness.
I don’t wish this on others. I feel such empathy for fellow sufferers.
I have my hubby only; we’re the sole survivors of our families now. He is wonderful so loving and supportive.
Wishing you a very blessed Christmas and a happy new year.
Dear honeybug, what a risky condition to be oppressed with. - If my fog brain gets this right, it's becoming unconscious while aware that it is happening, then paralysis, then complete unconsciousness. (There are all sorts of expletives exploding in my head! - "Yikes!" seems to work best. )
The only time I've experienced anything remotely like this was when I got stung on a visit to our hospital laundry. My skin began to get red and my whole body became hot and unbelievably uncomfortable and my boss took too much time getting me antihistamine. I remember telling him I was going to pass out very soon and being shepherded down the corridor to a 'borrowed' bed on the ward. On the way my vision changed to being in another totally 'different' corridor. When I eventually came to, emerging out of what was then total blackness, I was being tended by a beautiful, blond haired young male doctor taking my blood pressure and I felt 'safe' and more or less ok then.
Not surprising I am very taken with the new age term for humans who act with care towards others as 'Earth Angels.' Your hubby sounds like one of those. - What a friend of mine calls an Anam Cara or human Soul Friend. What a gift! Perhaps that's what you came here to experience*!* Two minutes to Christmas as i write this - Love and prayers to both of you this coming year and may our Beings of Light hold and bring healing to you. xx KJ
Awwww how kind your reply is. I apologize for not responding sooner. I was out again.
I’m so sorry for your scary experience. It sounds like you had a big allergic reaction to that sting. I pray you’ll never experience that again. That scares me to think about that. Wowww!!!
I am very blessed to have my wonderful hubby. It’s been a marriage made in Heaven for 55+ years.
It’s Christmas now here too. Blessings to you and yours. May the love of family and friends surround you at this very special time of year.
Thank you EJ. I now carry antihistamine and the Doc renews my epi-pens every year. My daughter in law had bad asthma along with ME and has experienced anaphylaxis too. She is a wealth of acquired knowledge on two legs and we have shared our experiences which has given me much confidence about it all. She and my youngest son have cooked me/us some utterly gorgeous gluten free ginger biscuits for Christmas which came in hamper of goodies.
A marriage made in Heaven sounds wonderful and fairly rare. Congratulations. We're coming up to fifty years next year. I've been lucky to also have a hubs with a sense of humour that I can utterly trust and who is also good at fixing things and making them work. He's negotiated and survived the NHS this year after being quite ill and in prolonged pain with kidney stents etc. The final op we chose to go private as he was losing so much weight but we are lucky to belong to a good local practice that also fought for him and he's pretty active again now. - Our local vets too are competent and kind and have also just operated on the little rescue cat we've had for over a year now and fallen in love with. We brought her home from her second day at the vet yesterday after a night without her. - She seems to be sleeping it all off and is on gabapentin. (Perhaps I should see what it would do for me!) - She is certain relaxing well and so far not licking the site of the mastectomy. It was a cinch to get the syringe in her mouth to take the pain killer this morning. ... All in all, this year I have been greatly gifted to have them both undergone and what seems a positive recovery.
Thanks for your Blessings. I wish you the same with great renewed wakefulness healing too. xx Jo
In my narcolepsy spells., I will be awake and without warning most time it will completely overpower my body and I’m unconscious cannot hear nor respond to anything. This continues until the episode releases me back to consciousness. Frequently I’ll barely wake up long enough to eat a bit of food and take meds. Then it happens again. It can happen for days in a row. These crazy spells started in December 2014 after I suffered a spine injury from a physical therapy session. Just one of dozens of conditions I have.
Thank you for the sweet thought of healing me if able to. I would do the same for you/everyone who’s ill.
It depends on what your makeup is. Psychologists use the phrase psychological frailty that means that some people are more likely to have less resilience to stress and therefore negative health outcomes. Some have posited that some with fibro may be in this camp and it would make sense.
Equally if you are prone to catastrophisation then you are more likely to have stronger negative outcomes compared to others.
There are two properties of the individual that would affect the outcome of any severe life event and the resulting impact on someone's fibro.
Christmas and not seeing my children and Grandchildren ( Their choice)
There is no tree or shiny stuff put up, So none to take down, (my choice) I think it's all changed a tadge these days, All the build up and pressure to cook the perfect meal or the perfect gift, Hubby and I had spagetti bolognes for dinner and adopted two donkeys,
Childhood abuse and a regular beating would certainly put me in a flare but found no help (80's) And was claimed to be a lazy miserable child!(Thank you mother!!!)
Then an abusive marriage would put me right up there,
There are so many things that put me close to a flare or actually in one, It's easier to find whats not going to put me in a flare😮💨😮💨😮💨 makes no sense at all, I'm glad there are more acknowledgable *(soz)* people around these days and supportive places on line for advice or a little hmpttt,
Being a recluse means I can control most things to avoid a flare,
I hope you find a way of controlling the run up to a flare and what causes one for you,
The death of my 20 y/o cat didn't help me with a flare but thankfully I had time to arrange a few things to make it less of a scary big one (we call it my flare pack after a flare caught me out for a good 7 months)
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Unwell
Brand new member in full fibro and M.E. flare up 
Apparently Kidney Stones may also be a Fibro-Flare up according to the consultant in hospital!
