Vent- Fed up roll on tomorrow.

[Mystique23]

Dunno if it's grief, if it's feeling sorry for myself or just my life right now, or combination of all 3 but I just can't stop crying right now.My pain levels are minus 10 out of 10, worst I've been. Never knew elbows could hurt so much.

I messed up with my pills and have run out of my pregablin so been free from that since Friday nite. Did not notice til I went to take meds on Saturday morn and refill dosset box, to discover I don't have a weeks supply left like I thought I did.

I'm maxed out on my naproxen and cocodamol. I can't remember what I've taken and when, so hanging out til bed time so can get my last dose of the day which I do know I've not taken yet! Just can't remember if taken two doses or three doses today so playing it safe and assuming its three so now waiting til 10 so can pop last lot. I'm irritable and grouchy, not sure if that's cause of pain or withdrawal of pregablin. (Everything a triggered for that, irritable at self for being irritable)

I had a lovely evening meal at my daughters and enjoyed spending time there but halfway home got hit with the urge to pee.

Managed to get just inside my bathroom door before my bladder voided and i wet myself next to the toilet.WTF!. So that triggered me crying, which has made me even more sore.

I've not slept well since Thursday so severely sleep deprived too. Was on the phone to my dad and the dogs were annoying me with their barking at the tv so that made me cry too. Poor dogs don't know what to make of me. I'm either sobbing, or yelling at them to shut up or trying to move around them and getting cross cos they in my way.

I just seem to have spent the last 3 hours crying on and off, great big heart-rending sobs.

I'm so fed up of it all. It's just so hard.

Roll on 10pm, pills, hot shower, massage chair and hopefully sleep. (If I fall asleep on the massage chair I'm bloody staying there, I'm not setting an alarm to wake me up just so I can move to bed and suddenly be wide awake.)

Tomorrow has to be better right?

Sorry for the vent.

[LisaSnow FMA UK Volunteer]

Please get some good rest. Lack of sleep makes all other symptoms worse.

[Mystique23 in reply to LisaSnow]

Thank you.Well I got 3 hours sleep which is am improvement. Also been up since 5.30am and must have dozed off on the couch about 8am as woke about 9.30am. So it all helps.

[Catbalou]

Aww you are going through it xI believe in taking things at our own pace,so don't be thinking you have to be this perfect person.

Try to get into a routine,if you can go outside and sit with nature.

Also I think journalism helps,so grab a book and pen,write down how you feel,and what may be bothering you,even write what you have done.

Ref:not taking your meds,these can affect us all in different ways,especially when missing a dose here and there, I know I get a few symptoms when I miss or if I take wrong ones.

Speak with your doctor and see maybe can they help.

God bless and be kind to yourself x

[Mystique23 in reply to Catbalou]

Thank you. I have started journalling. I found a good book by vex King, its a guided one and it does help.

I brought it just after my brother died as I thought it might help with the grief to have something for me to focus on. I enjoy my little morning ritual I have going now of having me time in the morning before I do anything else.

[DoubleMalibu]

Sorry to hear you’re having such a bad time at the moment Mystique23.

Lovely you got to enjoy time with your daughter though.

I saw a rheumatologist yest and finally got my diagnosis confirmed, he agreed that my severe menopause symptoms could be impacting my fibromyalgia, just wondered if your hormones are impacting your condition too?

Especially being weepy.

I’m so sore today after the examination he carried out on my muscles & joints, my body feels on fire😔

Lack of sleep makes fibromyalgia even more gangsta🙈doesn’t it.

Hope things settle down for you & you get some rest & much needed sleep.

Best wishes😊

[Mystique23 in reply to DoubleMalibu]

Thank you .I am feeling much better today 3 hrs sleep makes all the difference better than nothing at least.

Just going to chill today.

Hopefully see if I can do some cross stich and be a step closer to finishing my granddaughters sampler. It's only taking me nearly two years. I brought it planning on having it finished for her 1st birthday but here we are nearing her second and I'm not finished yet. Not felt like picking it up but going to give it a shot today.

[SlothMode]

Hiya Mystique,

I think u just had a bad day n when things pile on top of each other it’s blown up into a mass feeling of lack of control. Remember what I said it’s ok to crumble n cry as long as u get up ready to fight again. Have u considered getting your meds by post? I get mine from Lloyds pharmacy they are great! They send reminders when u need to reorder n postage is free too. That might take the stress off having to know when to reorder. I used to struggle when I was doing it myself. I think also u were grieving that old life which is also a step forward. Don’t beat yourself up n try new hobbies n give yourself the odd small treat as u deserve it. I occasionally colour for 5 mins as my concentration doesn’t last. I find those adult colouring books great but I’m still only on the first page lol! I write poems a few I’ve posted here n I try different easy hobbies just to see if I like them or not. Most importantly u aren’t alone n everyone here is going through the same things. Gentle hugs 😊🤗

[PenelopeClearwater]

I am so sorry you’re having such an awful time of it.

I won’t say I know what you’re going through, as we all experience it differently, bit I can absolutely relate.

It’s really important to get your meds refilled asap - I was on pregabalin briefly and when I decided to come off them and go on gabapentin instead, I had to come off very gradually and it still really messed with my body - it was like withdrawal symptoms, so that could potentially contribute to your low mood.

If the pregabalin works for you, that’s brilliant, bit I was warned off them by people on here when I started using them and they weren’t working for me, so I just wanted to note that you can discuss other medication if you’re not liking those. But keep going if they work for you! 🥰

I know it is easier said than done, but self care is so very important. Make sure you’re giving yourself time to do things you want to do, or perhaps need to (ie sleep)! But it’s important to make time to read, watch a movie, do some crafting, get in the garden… whatever helps make you happy, because there’s only one you and you’re very important, so make sure to look after your happiness, not just your medical health 🥰💙