Disorder in the Court

This is a few court based silly (but we are told are true) stories.

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: Were you present at the time your picture was taken?

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

More tomorrow

Take care and kindest regards


14 Replies

  • Chuckle, chuckle, chortle, chortle, excellent! Looking forward to more!!

  • Thanks Terry I love these hugs sue

  • Chuckling very much, thank you for that Terry :)

    Yep! still chuckling.............. possibly chortling too! so is my hubby :)

    Wishing you wellness my friend and send you healing fluffies :)

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • I love it!! thank you Terry, looking forward to more


  • A good chuckle enjoyed enormously xxgins

  • Brilliant, I had a good chuckle! Thankyou. X

  • I needed that bit of light relief.

    Marvellous. Thanks.

  • Very good. Thank you for sharing these with us all

    Take care


  • Had a good chuckle you've brightened my day thankyou. Sithy

  • Brilliant!! love these, wait for the next installment. Tannels x

  • lol, these had me in fits! so funny :) x

  • Thanks for the laughs.

  • Love the last one !!

  • thanks for the laughs my husband also thought they were good we both had a really good laugh looking forward to more.

You may also like...