Fibromyalgia Action UK

Disorder in the Court

This is a few court based silly (but we are told are true) stories.

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: Were you present at the time your picture was taken?

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

More tomorrow

Take care and kindest regards


14 Replies

Chuckle, chuckle, chortle, chortle, excellent! Looking forward to more!!


Thanks Terry I love these hugs sue


Chuckling very much, thank you for that Terry :)

Yep! still chuckling.............. possibly chortling too! so is my hubby :)

Wishing you wellness my friend and send you healing fluffies :)

:) xxxsianxxx :)


I love it!! thank you Terry, looking forward to more



A good chuckle enjoyed enormously xxgins


Brilliant, I had a good chuckle! Thankyou. X


I needed that bit of light relief.

Marvellous. Thanks.


Very good. Thank you for sharing these with us all

Take care



Had a good chuckle you've brightened my day thankyou. Sithy


Brilliant!! love these, wait for the next installment. Tannels x


lol, these had me in fits! so funny :) x


Thanks for the laughs.


Love the last one !!


thanks for the laughs my husband also thought they were good we both had a really good laugh looking forward to more.


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