Carers stress

[Paddy60]

Please can anyone help me.Since he retired 2years ago my husband has been my carer.With ever declining fibro osteoporosis mood disorder now heart problems he does everything.I have said I wanted to pay for a carer to help me shower and dress but he insists on doing it.It's been over a week since I showered I can't do it myself as I am at risk of passing out now.He keeps shouting at me , telling me I am stressing him and stands over me with his fists clenched.I don't know how to defuse the siuation has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation?

[Amy65]

Some times it can be very frustrating for our oh to cope with things .even if he is doing everything he shouldn't be making fists at u .could u ask ur occupational therapist to do an assessment to c if u could get help with careers it might help us situation take care amy

[Rose54]

Hi

Its a difficult one

Have you received a OT assessment thay will be able to put some aids in place.

I would also suggest speaking to your GP maybe meds to help his mood swings .

Social Services would be able to put a care package in place to help with Care needs however if you are in receipt of certain benefits thier will be a charge for this .

If you should ever need to report to Safe Guarding Department at your local council .I hope you dont need to but none should be scared in thier own home .

God luck

[M0AL61 Moderator Volunteer]

Do you have any family? Is there anyone who you could discuss things with?

I think you need to speak to your GP and definitely see about getting carers to come in. It's not on to have someone stand over you clenching their fists. xx

[bobbybobb]

You shouldn't feel intimidated in your own home.You are a vulnerable adult with health care needs. It's clear your husband is unable to meet the care needs you require. Speak with your GP about your needs. Also there are carers associations. Has your husband had any information about these. He will get support himself if he is finding it difficult to cope. You have to put your own needs first.

[Roselil]

So very sorry to hear this, Paddy60.. My husband has been my carer for more than 33 years, difficult at first, but he is a christian, and now nothing is too much trouble for him. He was having epileptic fits at night, but now on a drug which is helping. He loves to serve the Lord by helping me all he can and he has to do all the cooking and shopping. I will pray for your husband and yourself. Love ER

[Paddy60]

Thank you this what I find so sad as he is a volunteer as well as worshipper at the Minster.