Fibromyalgia Action UK
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i have just been searching the site due to recent increase in pain (knees/shoulders/back) and whether i could have fibromyalgia? i have had a very traumatic 2 1/2 years after the birth of my grandson, what should have been a very happy event turned into a nightmare. my daughter who is now 30 didnt tell anyone that she was pregnant, not even her friends knew, first anyone knew was when she went into labour, i delivered my grandson, he was so tiny, he was delivered whilst we were waiting for paramedics to arrive, daughter was taken to hospital with grandson, she had to have an operation to remove the placenta because it was not delivered naturally, she remained in hospital with grandson and whilst she was in social services became involved because ward staff felt she wasnt bonding with her son, instead of calling me to discuss the matter, from that moment on the whole family was under severe scrutiny, i am and have been a full time care for my 28 yr old son who has severe learning difficulties and my whole parenting skills were questioned, daughter who had grandson suffered severe post natal depression (perperal psychosis) something that i had suffered from after having her sister, it would appear that this is inherited but obviously my mother never discussed how she had been after she had had me, whilst daughter was being treated for her psychosis i looked after grandson as well as my son, social services were still around but not concerned about grandsons welfare, that came once daughter came out of the psychiatric ward, they just wouldnt leave us alone, always questioning everything she did, she may not have been the greatest mum, she loved her son, she just needed more help which social services wouldnt give her, it ended up with me having to choose between my son and grandson, obviously with already being a carer for son i couldnt take on the added responsibility of caring for grandson and daughter was also living with me at the time, the whole situation became intolerable, grandson now lives with his paternal grandparents miles away and we have contact with him every 2 months, something else that social services dictated, daughter had been having contact with her son 10 times a month up till him going to live with paternal grandparents, i totally feel that i have let her down but know that i did what i could, her father and i divorced quite a few years back and he occasionally has his son over, if it wasnt for the respite i receive on a regular basis i would never have time for myself. the whole experience has had an adverse effect on my health, there are days that i do not want to get out of bed and if it wasnt for my son i dont think i would be sat here now typing this, my dog hardly goes for long walks these days because it is a major effort going out of the front door, i have suffered panic attacks when ive just sat on the stairs and cried my heart out, ive tried going to my gp but really find it difficult to talk about how i am feeling right now, and right now i have pain in my shoulders, my lower back hurts and my knees hurt, i know i need to lose weight because even the shortest walk im getting out of breath, ive also been suffering with bloating in my stomach where it goes rock hard and is really uncomfortable so that has also affected my going outdoors, the list seems to be endless, i was never like this but feel that the experience of the last 2 1/2 years has something to do with it

13 Replies

I am so sorry to read your post. It seems that you have so many negative things that have happened in your life in the last few years and I can fully understand why you are so pent up and anxious. Extreme stressful events do seem to be the trigger for many of us developing fibro.

Unfortunately it can mimic many other illnesses so diagnosis is a process of elimination by the doctors when tests for other illnesses have come out negative. Many of us also have !ore that one health problem and it is sometimes difficult for us to differentiate between what is what and what isn't. The bloating of your stomach could be done to IBS which is another complaint many of us suffer from.

You really need to go to your doctor as the worry of not really knowing what is wrong with you is stressful in itself. As you are feeling very emotional I know it will be difficult to discuss things with your doctor without breaking down. Make an appt. and the write down all your symptoms so you can hand it to your GP perhaps booking a double appt if this is possible.

Ît seems to me that your are not getting enough support in your present state with taking care of your son and wonder whether you could get some extra help with this.

Do look at our mother site Fibromyalgia Action UK as there is some fabulous information on there. If you have questions to ask we will all try and help. Keep in touch with us so you don't feel so alone and let us know what happens. Take care of yourself as that is the only way you can fully take care of your son so many carers always out other people first and we all need a bit of me time. Don't feel you let your little grandson down as you had an impossible choice to make as you already had massive caring responibilities which you could not have fulfilled if you were looking after a baby. Look forward to reading further of your posts.x



I am so sorry to hear of all your upset, it must have been very hard for you.

I have 4 children and have had upset about grandchildren.

But you have had so much going on.

Stress doesn't help fibro sufferers, and fibro can be caused by a major upset, sorry fibro fog bad today, can't find the words i am looking for.

Rosewine has given you very good advice.

Your gp should be your first call

But please don't feel alone, we are a friendly bunch here.

So please let us know how you are going.

And as mum's we can only do what we can, and I think you have done all you possibly can. It sounds like you are a great mum.

Trace x🌹


I am sorry I don't have a magic wand, but I sincerely hope you can get some answers from your doctor. Sending soft gentle Hugs to you all. x


Hi there

I am not a doctor, or medically trained, but I wonder whether you might be suffering from Post traumatic Stress Disorder?

I would urge you to see your GP and talk about what's been happening with your health.

Please be brave and make that appointment.

Wishing you all the very best.

Lu x

Volunteer Administrator


Your should maybe put your son into care ever day there can bring him back go to bingo once a week. I have so much on to but sometime s u take look around life for living

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Hi alison61

I have read your post with so much pain and sorrow for everything that you have endured, and are still having to endure. I am not in the slightest bit surprised that your health is suffering with all of the stress and anxiety that you are experiencing. I am not a doctor so I cannot say that you have Fibro or not? However, as rosewine says, the symptoms can mimic other medical conditions and it may help to let your doctor know how you are feeling and have some tests run?

I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck and please take care of yourself.

All my hopes and dreams for you


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Thank you so much for all your kind comments and advice it has been a very tough couple of years and I will go to gp I obviously cannot go on the way I am and there are days when slightest thing gets me down xx

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Hi there it is all very difficult but it s not your fault, you are not super woman. Two things to help your stomach. Go garlic and parsle tablets. Along with a good probiotic for a mont. at the same toime start having 1/2 cup oats wit chopped dates a a little milk for breakfast. Then a smoothie, banana and berries, nuts seeds etc.mixed with a little ice. And coconut water. At lunch have a salad with as many Vegas as you can stuff down at tea tomedry roast potato, ku mera,carrots pumpkin, capsicums garlic etc eat fruit and vegetable s when ever you like the pounds will fall off don't cheat though

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My heart goes out to you, you are very brave with all you have had to endure, my thoughts are with you God Bless xx


thank you so much xx


just an update, i have been to the doctors about the pain i have in my knees and i am going to be referred for an mri scan, hopefully that will sort out one of my health issues :-)


So sorry to read this, and my heart goes out to you it really does.

My wife was diagnosed with fibromyalgia some years ago, she cried with the pain on many occasions, and I felt absolutely helpless. She was put on the fentynil patches for a while, along with taking the maximum dose of paracetamol daily just to take the edge of off the pain. She was given an infusion of lignocaine about three and a half years ago, and after the first week or so she was able to be relatively pain free for about 4 months until she had another infusion. She has to have this treatment every 4 months, but it seems to work for her keeping most of the pain at bay. She is on anti depressants and "noratryptaline" is taken at night which is given to aid sleep. She is far from a well woman with other ailments as well as the fibromyalgia, but she struggles on.

This treatment may not be for everyone, but I genuinely do think it's worth having a chat with your doctor about it.


Hi Kingdisher01

I also have the same treatment as your wife but have Duloxetine 60mg instead of Nortriptyline, because this has been proven to ease fibro pain and i have felt better since starting the infusions. I have now been diagnosed with Arthritis of both knees and hips and have had steroid injections to all four joints hopefully to ease this pain. This could be a problem Alison01 now has as well. Soft hugs to all.


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