how much more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

going to social services this morning to try to get my sister help for her & her 13 year old. she is totaly imobile with spine & ruptured discs in the neck.her child is now doing pity me but does nothing for her mum left her 3 days without a drink she lives in her dining room uses a bucket for loo.im not good myself at the minute ive had realy bad indigestion all weekend,panic attacks and cant get warm i hate fibro and how much its changed my life. were frightened of going to social services but someone has got to help them need to get her moved near me before 13 yr old is beyond help.sorry for moaning but i know my fibro family will understand my feelings. have the best day you can xxx

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  • So sorry to read of all that is happening. It is the best thing you can do to go to Social Services as all they want to do is help. It must be putting a terrible strain on you so try and take time for yourself if you can. Hope you are able to get some help for your sister Take care Sue x

  • This sounds like a horrible situation for you and your sister, and it sounds like social services is definitely the best option. You might want to see if they can organise some 'family counselling', too, as this might be the way to tackle your niece's unhelpful behaviour. There's probably a reason behind it, what with everything that's happening to her Mum, and it may not all be entirely selfish!

    Hope you all manage to get things sorted!

    Sara xx

  • My 2 daughters are in their 20's now but they went through hell as children growing up with a mother too ill to care for them properly. They spent 2+ years in care (wonderful woman they still have contact with now - I think she saved my children!) Social Services used to run a group for 'young carers' where they could mix with their own age trying to grow up in similar difficult circumstances, because it is very scary, feels isolated and so alone. I am sure that in helping the child this will also help mum, but Social Services also need to come in to provide care for poor mum. Take pressure off both - both will find it easier to cope.

    My heart goes out to them, but as a family they can come through this. Social Services will try everything possible to keep them together (not least because it's cheaper). I am so proud of my girls (ok women!) They are wonderful, caring & responsible adults. We talk and share how we feel, help where we can. I couldn't possibly ask for more. All the very best. xx

  • What a dreadfully sad situation. At 13, your niece is still a child and is quite likely in denial that her poor mum is so very ill and dependant on her. She may even resent her mum for being so poorly when her friends don't have to cope with similar issues. I completely agree that you are doing the right thing by asking social services for help. This is definitely a situation that cannot be allowed to continue for the sake of all concerned. Do let us know how things turn out. Jane x

  • hi i have a 13 year old grandaughter and i can associate what you say as it seems to be me me me, much as i love her to bits it does get very frustrating as the world never revolves around one person. teenagers ! x

  • I vividly remember my son being 13, he did the teenage years with enthusiasm! Joking aside though, its a very difficult age and I had so many problems with my (ADHD) son back then that many of my friends were urging me to get him put into care - I didn't get any help and the next 6 years with him were hell, so I would say that if you can get help for your sister and niece, you shouldn't hesitate.

    My son and I get on much better since he got his own place 3 years ago I'm pleased to say xx

  • Hi calendergirl,

    I'm sorry that you are all having such a rough time. Maybe your niece could get some support from a Young Carers support group, even if it seems she's not caring at the moment she may be angry etc as others have suggested above. Perhaps, she might find it helpful to be able to talk to other young people in similar situations and would feel less isolated and 'different' from her peers? A lot of young carers i worked with could go from doing evrything for a parent or sibling to nothing except be angry. She could get online support youngcarers.net. If you do have a local group the workers can be instrumental in advocating services from adult care if they are being lax in their support.

    I hope this might help and I hope people don't get upset by the term young carer, but it's the most easily recognised term & even if children aren't providing practical or physical care they often provide emotional support or are effected by the situation, so any support for them hopefully helps the whole family.

    Good luck and best wishes xx

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