MAD MUM OF SIX!!!

[MADMUMOFSIX]

Hi guys im new to the whole online chatting thing and im also newly diagnosed severe Fibromyalgia and Carpal tunnel in both wrists. Im kind of grieving for the life ive lost right now and at times i am steaming hot ANGRY!! anyone want to chat?

[Shadows-walker]

Hi my love yes we have all been at that point ! As you have been recently been diagnosed, can I suggest you ask straight away for counciling it will help , you have had your life stolen ! And also ask for a pain and fatigue clinic ! It will help with understand of what your body is doing ! Why it is! what you can do to help yourself !

And what others can do to help you ! You should be able to take a family member with you ! You will need an open mind but it will help , when I went I though at least he end I would be back out on the hills flying my Kites " I did say Kite " riding my bike , swimming in the sea , working full time , being the mother to 3 and throughly enjoying my life !

But it got stolen by a dentist who forgot to give me anti biotics and I will never forgive him!

So back to you , welcome where are you from roughly and how are you and your family coping !

And could you lock your post now you have found us !

Go to the edit button on your post click it !

Scroll down to bottom of page !

You will see !

Community 0. ⬅️

Everyone 0

Click the community spot that will lock your post , it stops people out side the forum reading what we post ! It stops outside people reading personal info about you and us

Hugs

Shadow xx

[MADMUMOFSIX in reply to Shadows-walker]

Hi Shadow

Thanks for reply. Im in Littlehampton-by the sea. Its been a long 3 years- i was under Heamatology for the last two years- i had high white blood cell count so they thought all my symptoms were related to some sort of Cancer of the blood-Thankfully all scans/tests and bone marrow biopsy all came back clear- although i definately felt like i was very old and dying! Im only 41!

[Shadows-walker in reply to MADMUMOFSIX]

Yes it's very scary when this hits you ,and if you have other issues as well that are serious , i have had 7 consultants at one time , down to 4 now 😊 Please look at what I said above about locking you post !

You will probably get more responses if you do !

We have admin on this site but today they all seem to have had a day to themselves 😊 How could they 😊 Ken will be about later !

So pleased you have had good news on the cancer front you must have been and relieved !m

Big hugs were a friendly lot on here start joining in with the silly posts,

Laughter helps us cope , people who can't or won't understand make things harder on us ,

Chris X

[fenbadger in reply to Shadows-walker]

PRESH66 said chat Chris, not ramble

*ducks*

[Shadows-walker in reply to fenbadger]

🙃

[Katherineanne]

Glad your here. I found this site because I felt very isolated...even with children and hubby around. Stick around,read posts, reply if you like. Then next day, do it again. Some of it'll be good for venting for you, some of it'll be good for helping others and some of it'll be good for helping you to feel more understood than you have felt ever.... As well as, some solutions that may be granted or come your way, that you are needing to hear. I wish you well with navigating the site. Everyone has been very kind and helpful along the way. I hope you have the same gift given to you, as I have, here as a member!

Katherine

[TheAuthor]

Hi PRESH66

I sincerely hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? Welcome to the forum and it is wonderful to make your acquaintance. I have pasted you a link below to our mother site, FMA UK which hosts loads of useful Fibro information:

fmauk.org/

I can genuinely understand your need to grieve for what you have lost, as many members also express the same feelings. I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck. Please take care of yourself.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[TIDDLYF]

Hi mad mum of six, I am mum of 5 with fibro and carpal tunnel in both wrists plus numerous other diagnosis. I know what you mean about mourning your former self, but until you do that and accept that this is you, mark 2, you cannot move on.

I did a pain management course and on the first session there was a lot of talk about forget getting better, that's not happening, now learn to deal with it. I walked out thinking REALLY, thought this was meant to help.

Well got in the car, the radio came on and the song that came on overwhelmed me and I sat and cried. My kids now know this as my 'theme' tune.

The tune is "RIP to the girl I used to be" by Rita Ora. Listen to it, it may help. If it doesn't you may find your own key to acceptance, we are all very different with this one thing in common.

But, you cannot begin to feel any better while you still believe that a certain pill or medicine is going to heal you. You need to learn to pace and save energy for the things that you NEED to do. Anything else will have to wait till you're up to it (or can get someone else to do it).

If you want to chat my name is Tina x

[MaineFirefly in reply to TIDDLYF]

Hi Tina, Reading your response I realized I am still waiting for someone to "fix" me. It just hasn't sunk in that this is "it". Still trying to think of a job I could handle even though my casemanager has helped with filing for disability. I am in denial. This really doesn't go away and there is no magic pill? This will take awhile to sink in, although it might explain why I cry all the time. I probably did know it at some level.

[TIDDLYF in reply to MaineFirefly]

If you are crying all the time maybe you need to take some anti depressants. I was very much against the idea but eventually gave in and took some for about 6/7 months. Again not a magic solution but they did help me to not be so negative. I don't take them anymore, but have learnt to accept my limitations and not feel guilty about not being 'myself' anymore.

I hope you are getting all the support you need, at home and on here. My children are older now and I called a meeting one night over dinner, I made sure they all realised that unfortunately this was NOT temporary and therefore I needed their help.

This threw up lots of questions and we sat talking for a couple of hours, but we cleared up lots of issues. If your children are old enough maybe you should have a talk with them and explain how hard it is for you at the moment.

I also wrote an email and sent it to my brother and sister explaining what was going on, and apologising for missing both their sons birthdays last month. They had not realised how bad things were and both googled and researched Fibro and are now a lot more understanding.

Maybe by educating the people in our lives we will in return find more understanding and less 'pull yourself together' type comments.

[MaineFirefly in reply to TIDDLYF]

I am on zoloft and lorazapam, and tried latuda. Again, gerbil here, feels like a lab rat. Try this and that. If it worked it would be great 😊. I do have a lot of stressors (stressers? sp?) right now. My husband is leaving me after 25 years. The crying started before, not as much..but before. Clinical depression and chronic fatigue..how long do these things last?? I have to sell my home this summer, too big for me to handle. I also lost my dog, big newfoundland named Benson two days before Christmas! I only share this so you will share my chuckle when I tell you I AM a redneck country song! I have to keep my sense of humor or I will fall down the rabbit hole! 🐇 I wish you were in my family. How brave to hold a meeting and exactly the right way to handle it. There was a time that idea wouldn't have frightened me so..my oldest daughter has bipolar and chiari. She pulls and pushes me in and out of her life as well as her three children. She has brain surgery coming in the future. I pray she allows me to be there. My sister has stage 4 cancer, lung and now brain. My 87 yr old mum lives with me. My youngest daughter has told me you can only help those who help themselves, expecting I should just be able to put mind over matter and DO it. Just set a goal. Making it SOUND easy..I couldn't argue, I didn't understand it either, I wanted a fix it pill, wanted my life back! My own family was looking at me as if perhaps I wasn't trying, or maybe..what..I was faking this? Was I crazy? So, yes, the meeting idea in a regular normal family..the kind I thought I had, until they started abandoning me like rats from a sinking ship. Sorry, a touch of self pity there. Maybe I could find a good site I could send a link to my daughter. I bet she might read it. About fibromyalgia. I will look for a really good explanation, as much as they have, to show her. Then maybe the meeting. Yikes! 😳 I didn't mean to ramble on so, well enough of that saga. The reader's digest version of my life..tada 😛

Thank you Tiddlyf

[TIDDLYF in reply to MaineFirefly]

Wow! we are so alike, I am a single parent after 20yrs of being together. I cared for my parents for the last 6/7 years of their lives, and my oldest daughter suffers with bad clinical depression. So much so that I often feel her children would be better off with me.

My grandson is 5 1/2 now and for the last 2 years has been saying he wants to stay with me. I let him sometimes when I am up to it but then there are dramas when I take him home. As for her daughter she is three and the health visitor thinks she may have some sort of developmental delay. I think it is lack of in put. She just ignores her, unless she is naughty, as a result she still just babbles with only a few understandable words and is still in nappies.

I'm waffling now.

But choose a day when they can all come round for dinner and bring the subject up, once you are all sat down. That is how I did it. To this day I have still never seen a leaflet about fibro and have gleaned most of my info on the internet and on here. Suggest they do the same. Explain that it is a very real illness and even show them this site. You need for them to understand,

I wish you all the best and hope you can get them on side

Tina x

[MaineFirefly in reply to TIDDLYF]

OK Tina, my new bff across the pond? oh to have someone in a close situation or parallel life? To talk or chat with. I worry so about my grandchildren, 17, 11,and 5 years old. Two boys and the youngest a girl. If I felt better I could do something. I used to help her, clean her house and paint the kids rooms (very cool job), run errands with her. When I couldn't do it anymore she got mad and started cutting me out. I might get through to my youngest though. Thx for reminding me I am not alone in this. I did some soul searching and realized I have a hard time calling fibromyalgia a disease or even telling people I have it because of this stigma attached to it. Almost as if it doesn't exist. Its not taken seriously by a lot of folks. I don't know how to handle that attitude I sometimes get when fibromyalgia is brought up. An old classmate did it. Said ohhh...yes..a fellow employee complained of having that..couldn't do certain things..had to take breaks..THEN I drive by her house and SHE IS OUT GARDENING..PLANTING FLOWERS!! I didn't bother. She was already on attack mode. So if anyone has advice on dealing with these people, so I can start talking about it..I would appreciate it. 😯meanwhile, everyone have a great healing "as stress free as can be" day! 😆

[fenbadger]

Indeed and welcome. As you're mad you'll fit in nicely. I'm a bit out of it at the moment for various reasons but I think you'll find the answers and support you want.

You're not terribly far from another member

[Shadows-walker in reply to fenbadger]

Which one ?

[fenbadger in reply to Shadows-walker]

should I say?

she might prefer me not to

[MaineFirefly]

Hi mad mum of six, nice to meet you. Welcome 😊

[MADMUMOFSIX in reply to MaineFirefly]

Thanks for the welcome x i read ur other post about thinking about a job- i work 16hrs per week as a personal assistant and its perfect as i do a morning breakfast call at 9 then a lunch call at 12.30 and sometimes a tea call at 5.30--- this means i can (and need to) sleep between calls. It does cost me pain wise to work but i know my menal health would suffer if i just stay at home in pain 24/7.

[MaineFirefly in reply to MADMUMOFSIX]

Hi madmum, I used to do that actually. Before I went full time with medical transcription. I did it for about 15 years. Loved the lady I worked for. Then I started transcribing full time. I had a lot of back problems and thought no matter what I could always drag myself to the keyboard. Wrong! That's when the trigeminal neuralgia got diagnosed. Not till 11 years into my career though. Now I am agoraphobic. I was getting a bit better and had started driving myself to drs appts. Past few months with snow and stress its gotten worse and I can't drive myself again. So frustrating!! I did start painting furniture with unique designs, maybe that will catch on. 🙏 Be good to you today and rest! 😊

[MADMUMOFSIX in reply to MaineFirefly]

Maybe, if grief not still raw - A small dog that doesnt need walking if u have no one to walk it for you. I cant put into words how much brighter my everyday life is since i got my Bella! (Gorgeous white westie)

[MADMUMOFSIX]

Who on earth would have 3 girls all going through puberty and hormones at the same time!!! ...... add the Fibro and Carpal Tunnel and the every day challenges and i think I AM IN HELL!!!

[MaineFirefly in reply to MADMUMOFSIX]

I have thought of getting another furry friend, not sure if I can handle it just yet.

Three girls at once, holy moly, girl you have some drama!! I used to just look at my teenage daughter and think we will do lunch in 8 years when this is over..call me! Lol 😛

[MADMUMOFSIX in reply to MaineFirefly]

Lol! I love it! Ive survived it all for 3 of them (in my healthy years) My eldest two boys 21+20 and also my 18yr old daughter-who nearly finished me off before she decided Dads was a better option-phew! Lol. Now i have a nearly 14yr old daughter and 12yr old identical twin girls! I really am MAD! . . . . . The cupboard under the stairs is quite big if i squash them in........ ive even thought of running away from home! .......my running days r long gone! I WILL SURVIVE!..... of course their hormones couldnt care less about my daily struggle dragging myself around in constant pain with this debilitating illness! ..... i have learned (well to try my very best at least) not to take their actions or words personally and to definately pick my battles. My eldest is a real Godsend. . . We would all be lost without him x

[MaineFirefly in reply to MADMUMOFSIX]

Identical twin girls?? What fun!! What work!! lol You are one strong woman. I am glad your oldest is such a support for you and keeping you sane. 😉

Must be hard to stay within your limits to keep the pain in check. Don't forget, mom needs to rest and you're a priority too. 🌹

[MADMUMOFSIX in reply to MaineFirefly]

Yes very precious girls were born at 28 weeks and weighed 2lb 6oz each! 7 wks in special care AND on the day of the emergeny C section we also EXCHANGED CONTRACTS on sale of our home! I feel so very blessed to be lucky enough to be their mum ( not so much when their hormones take over and horns grow out of their heads!)

[MADMUMOFSIX in reply to MaineFirefly]

We as a family realised a few months back that i had to choose between my job and running the home- the level of constant pain i was in was unbearable and obvious to anyone who saw me. My hardest battle was and still is to a degree admiting first to myself that i just cannot do things-ive always been a very capable and always on the go person. As i have depression due to abuse as a child my family all agreed that i should stay at my job- which is almost a perfect fit with fibro. I go out to work and from my wages i pay my youngest 3 kids £2.50 a day (2days per wk each) to do chores needed for that day. My partner does all washing and shopping at wkend and also buys me flowers and makes sure we have everything for the week. He is such a support emotionally and has told me he takes his hat off to me for managing to do anything when every day is such a struggle even when i do nothing