Ongoing struggle

Havent posted for a while but its because my struggle with fibromyalgia has only got worse. Disturbances at home, mother and father on verge of divorcing and the nastiness and fighting that goes with it have done nothing to aid me steady my condition. Both sides want me to side with them against the other and i want to keep out of it.

My gp has been useless. I've had to go via the practice manager to get my rheumatologists recommendations, including med changes and therapies, activated as the gps hadnt reviewed my letters 4 weeks after receiving them. My rheumatologist Dr smithson is very thorough. As it had taken 15 months to get me forwarded to her, she wanted to ensure nothing 'nasty' had happened in the time i was waiting and hiding behind my fibro diagnosis such as cancers, arthritis etc. i had the bone scan with an iv radioactive dye. Took 4 attempts to get the dye in a vein which wasnt a good start. Fortunately only signs i've recently fractured my big toe and previous evidence of hypermobility issues in my hands and chest showed. I'm vit d deficient and a few other levels are out. My gp decided to change all my meds at the same time. So i was changed from citalopram to sertraline, oramorph to zomorph and gabapentin reduced over 3 weeks to change on tuesday this week to progabalin. The zomorph doesnt work at all, whether thats as the gabapentins influence is reducing or because all the stress going on at home is flaring my pain more. I've had migraines lasting a week, unable to look at light, throwing up all day and night. My back pain is agony and my hips feel like i'm constantly in a torture device or something.

I am under physios, psychologists and ot's as well as rheumatology but so far no good has come of it.

Sleep is impossible as i cannot relax from the discomfort and pain around my body. My mind never switches off. Whenever i do doze off, i have horrific nightmares consisting of something i saw or did that day which turns into a horror movie or something. I always awake in cold sweat.

At the moment my family are not supportive except my grandma who tries to take me to my appointments and talk to me when she's around.

I dunno how much longer i can cope feeling like this. I'm constantly exhausted, in agony and having to put a smile on my face or my parents round on me and have a further go, spiking my flare ups even more.

7 Replies

  • it seems you have an awful lot to deal within your home situation. could you wright a letter to both of your parents telling them you love them both equally.but you will not take part in their arguments. because it is harmful to you emotionally .if they have not yet involved lawyers suggest they see a marriage guidance counselor. they both have to be willing to do this. i personally think parents who try to use their children to hurt each other are being childish themselves. as for your gp i suggest you try a different doctor at the practice if they are not helpful change practices. and could you not move into your grans since she has been supportive. hang in there and best wishes.

  • I am so genuinely sorry to read all of this, and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to all of these issues. It does not feel fair on your that you are being made to play the role of ''stuck in the middle'' in everything in your own life. I agree with ALKT in that it may help to explain to your parents that you love them both and refuse to make choices as it is not fair on you.

    I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

    Al my hopes and dreams for you


  • Oh what a difficult situation you are in. I've had a look at one of your earlier posts about living back with your parents and it seems things have deteriorated further. As you describe it the family home is not a good place for you to be. I can only suggest that you focus your limited energy on approaching any service you can think of to help you find acceptable alternative accommodation and daily support. You need to put yourself and your health first. Be brave. All best.

  • Hi there just joined this support group but had to message you ' ask your gp for tramidol and co-codimol 30 over 500 ( they will no what that means also ask for amitripline it relaxes the body ready for sleep ... U will then be able to fall to sleep because before I got these medicines i used to roll from one side of the bed to another ' rubbing my legs and all my body .. Also bye lots of firm pillows to support stuff neck & as for your family stresses you need to tell both sides of the split that your taking a two week period away from the situation ( say you've been advised by your gp ) take it from me who has made sure no one comes to my home to add stress to me ' we have fibriomialgia and stress puts us back 3-4 days each time - you must put your sel first .... Good luck x

  • A pregnancy full body support pillow helps with the hip pain. Epsom salt bath prior to bed and some scented candles or oil diffuser used while having a bath, to relax the mind, ear plugs if they argue when you go to bed and lastly make sure no natural light can penetrate your curtains/blinds. Oh forgot try googling mindful meditation to help empty you mind as you go to sleep. Good luck.

  • What an awful time you're having. I know first hand how troublesome and completely bloody insensitive family members can be.

    Sets us fibro folk back days and even weeks.

    I agree wuth earlier comnent about staying with your gran. If only for a break. This' ll give the warring parents a bit of space too.

    Sweetie. ...its your health and you have to do whatever is necessary to promote better health for yourself.

    Hugs xx

  • Dear SallyE15 I hope everything calms down soon and your parents remember that all the bickering is not helping you, stuck in the middle with this horrid illness of Fibromyalgia, and having to take sides, also I am hoping your new medication helps you soon too. Smile :-))

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