I had so many plans for this week. I'm not usually one for making promises incase I have to cancel for some reason but I offered to take my neighbour to drop off some items for charity.
Invited 2 nice old ladies out to lunch, and promised another elderly gentleman a visit to the cemetery to visit his wife's grave.
Needless to say I had to make 3 very embarrassing phonecalls today full of apologies to cancel. I've never felt so bad having to let these lovely people down who were so dependant on me.
Not being able to make plans is so frustrating, not so much for me but for the people who sometimes depend on me. I will however make it up to them.
Feel so Guilty.
17 Replies
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Oh Jan, don't be so hard on yourself, unfortunately these things happen, even to people that keep well. I'm pretty sure your friends understand, they will be worrying about you as you of them. Rearrange for a time when you are feeling a bit better. Try and not stress as this will make your pain so much worse.
Take care, soothing hugs xxxx
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Thank you for your kindness. It's only because I care about them so much, and want to bring some joy into their lives, but I know it makes sense what your saying, they have all been a source of support for me during difficult times.
I will take your advice on this thanks and take care x
I am so genuinely sorry to read that and as ryanbone says please do not be too hard on yourself. It is the nature of Fibro that is to blame not you. Please take care of yourself.
I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck.
That is a very hard thing to have to come to terms with! It seems like when I make plans fibro just laughs at me and says we will see about that! I am sure your friends understand. I have found the older I get the more I understand that if a friend makes plans then call to cancel. I understand that there is a reason behind it! Most of the elderly I am friends with understand because there are times they too have to cancel plans. Hugs Regina
I totally agree with everyone. Most people have times they just aren't well enough to go through with their plans, so it's likely they understand quite well. Especially since as we grow old(er) we all have health issues.
Guilt is one of my character defects, born and bred in me! Just think, if they cancelled on you you wouldn't think anything bad about it, and it goes both ways.
So Mom (my Mom), sorry but I've got to lose the guilt. You too Jan. Yeah, I know, sometimes easier said than done.
I sympathise ..... I find now that I commit to less and less. ..just in case I cant step up on the day or even the hour.
Guilt just wears you down...easier for me not to commit but I surprise instead when I feel more able. Doesn't always work out but I can make some people smile xx
I can empathise with you completely. I so want to do things, see friends etc but yes I often have to cancel too. It's frustrating. I do try to plan less but have realised that I isolate myself when I do that. It's difficult to get the balance right when you never know how much(or should I say little) energy you will have on any given day. My truest friends understand and don't judge. The others, well it's their choice to stay or go.
Thanks for posting this as it makes me realise that I am not alone.
This is why I try not to make too many plans or promises for the future sometimes on the same day! You can only do your best and I am sure this people will understand and appreciate your efforts. Don't be so hard on yourself it is not you but the illness that is responsible.
Please don't feel guilty but we are all human and always feel bad if we have to brak planned arrangements. I have had to do it a couple of times lately and I always feel very sad but I am sure that they will understand.
Take care of yourself and hopefully you will be feeling well enough soon so you can rearrange things.x
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Feeling guilty
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