So Fed Up

Hi everyone, I am feeling sorry for myself, past 20months has been awful....I dont work any more, or drive : - ( My family are suffering because of this, I dont have much energy to do anything...It takes me ages just to shower and do my hair.

I was a single parent for over 10yrs, I always put my families needs first. I met someone nearly 5yrs ago, and we married in September 2010...Since then my health has just turned upside I just feel robbed, my children are older and dont need as much, I should be enjoying my life, but I cant. Its just getting me down, and I feel awful for my husband and family....

Sorry for the moan.


8 Replies

  • Hi Jan, it sounds like you really have had it tough. Have you spoken to you doctor or consultant ? I hope you feel better soon. Gentle Hugs xx ems x

  • Hi jan , im with you I was diagnosed in sept and its changed my life , my sons are older to but they have been through this with me , and my husband . I need help when washing my hair my arms hurt so much , I do what I can just at a slower pace , instead of the old me running around everywere . I was a nursery nurse , walked all the time , basically always on the go ! If you need a chat im here hugs angie xxx

  • Hi there I can totally empathise with you here I had to give up driving 5 years ago and work before that ... As I was the only driver in our house that had a big impact so did giving up work but some times we just have to give in. To give our bodies the best possible care. You don't say what if any meds you are on but if its none then you probably need some and if you are on some then maybe you need a reveiw there are so. Many. Meds out there for fibro it really is trial and error as to finding the right combo. As you can't drive anymore have you applied for a disabled bus pass... I have one and for the price of a GPS letter to back up my claim .. I now get 5 years free bus travel which on a good day is great for me as the hail and ride bus goes right by my house....

    It does seem cruel that just when your children are getting to the age that you can start to think about doing things just for you again you are too ill to enjoy it... I am in my 40s and we have moved to a bungalow its lovely but it still gets to me at times when I see pensioner striding past walking their dogs...

    Please let us know how you are getting on soon

    VG x

  • Hi Jan, as you can see by the other comments you are not alone!

    I too am going through the same as you, I'm nearly 50 but still feel robbed of a life, my children are older & very able to look after themselves one is at uni the other works but still at home.

    I too find it hard to shower & wash/dry my hair, some days I don't, dry shampoo is great you should give it a go.

    I now shop online for anything I need, even some chemists deliver to your door so I don't need to drive.

    Have you thought of seening a councillor? It helps to get it out of your system to rant & it may even help you feel better about yourself.

    I am thinking of giving up work as off ill now for almost 5 months, I too feel old & useless watching others do what I should be doing & used to enjoy but now is the time to find something different you can do & enjoy.

    If you need to rant were all here so feel free, anything you can't say to family or friends this is the place to do it, so feel free we do. Good luck. Thinking of you so take care.xx

  • You can moan as much as you like.I know exactly how you feel.You just have to vent.So never apologise.I am in exactly the same boat.I live alone (luckily my mom an OAP just lives across the road) but it should be the other way round I should be looking after her.I don't know what I would do without her.I grieve and miss my old life I never stopped.Had a brilliant job as well as training to be a psychotherapist and I have had to give it all up.Sending you gentle hugs and you can always come and cry on my shoulder anytime

  • Hi Jan everything sounds very frustrating for you I've never driven but always wanted to and now I probably won't be able to. I cannot walk very far even with 2 sticks anymore and don't get out of the house unless someone takes me out because I don't have a self=propelling wheelchair as my shoulders are prone to dislocation (HMS) I hate it I hate not being able to go to the shop for myself. I've never liked having to rely so much on other people even my OH. Now I have to so I do.

    At 19 I was told to go away take paracetamol because I had tight hamstrings. I knew it wasn't the problem. 20 years later after going through various hospital departments and consultants and having the "its all in your head" keep taking the pain meds as in paracetamol I got a diagnosis within 10 minutes of seeing a rheumatologist in April. It was different for me because i'd helped my new GP figure out what was really happening over the course of last 5 years and had made changes to the way I did a lot of things already. to get a diagnosis for me was relief. I've had counselling for years now and have a lovely lady I go to rant at. MIND have been a godsend! I haven't worked since years ago and I still grieve that and my loss of independence.

    Have you considered a pain management programme? they take a holistic approach to managing pain, its helped me a lot especially how to turn negatives into positives: how to communicate pain to your nearest and dearest: how 30 mins of proper relaxation a day makes a difference, which I found very hard to do but am glad I found my own way of doing it.

    talking is good x

    take care x


  • Hi Thanks everyone for the kind words.....I start physio on Monday to build up my stamia, and I hope it will make me feel better. Been into town with OH only there for just under 2hrs.!!! Came home and I had a nana nap!! lol Only 46, and I am not a nana yet....ha...Still have my humour thank god.

    My meds I take r fluoxetine and amitripyline..., feel much better with the amitripyline because they give me a better sleep. I was a nursery nurse 2, and I really miss it, but could never do that job again, when I think back 2yrs ago, when my health was starting to affect me, I just dont know how I got through the week...

    Then start when I got home....Any way must go, will chat soon, and once again thank u all.

    Jan xx

  • Well physio went well only did few mins each on threadmill and bike. I felt so proud of myself..


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