Drs waste of time

I spent the whole of christmas alone and very very depressed I saw a gp on the Friday before because my pain levels are spiralling and i am really struggling with them cant seem to get it under control and because i'm on Oromorph and MST he decided the best thing to do was to increase the MST and get me off Oromorph but the oromorph kicks in quicker if i have done too much or the pain is really bad and i don't over do it with it i only use it when its bad. I said about my depression that was ignored as he didn't have psychiatrists letter. Christmas day i was supposed to go to my daughters fiancees families house but i don't like her father in law to be he is very rude and ignorant I got up had a bath and got ready then messaged her to say i couldn't do it i didn't feel i would be good company as i was so tearful. I picked up my cross stitch but as i had surgery on my hand in October then broke the hand its taking a lot to get it moving so i cant do much stitching and that is one thing i normally do which keeps me sane. I cant read because i cant focus on books at the moment. I have neighbours from hell moved in above me who have a dog that wakes me if i happen to dose off in the night the dog jumps off the bed and then he's scratching and its like someone hammering on the ceiling. I am terrified of the area i live in as there are druggies and the police are always round here for one thing or another. There is absolutely no soundproofing between the floors the flat above is private mine is council if i had know there was no soundproofing i would have never taken it i even asked and was assured it was quiet. The guy above suffers with tinnitus so has a fan going all night which in my room sounds like a helicopter (thats not an exaggeration) they moved in the Friday before christmas and i haven't had a nights sleep since. Boxing day i just couldn't stop crying i felt so lonely and just wanted to end my life so i phone the mental health team telling them i didn't want to be here and the woman said well what do you want us to do as you are at one end of the phone and we are at the other. She then asked what i normally do so i said stitch but my hand hurts so i cant do it, what else so i said read but i cant focus as my brain will not concentrate so it ended that i would put a dvd on which my daughter had bought me for christmas as much as i loved it it was a weepy so i ended up crying at that as well. The following night i really was so tempted to just take the pills i took a handful then my daughter was phoning and my best friend and all i wanted to do was sleep. the next thing i know my friend was round expecting to find me dead in the bedroom i said i was just sleeping. Obviously she was relieved that i was alive. The following morning i can honestly say i don't know whether i was relieved or disappointed. I spent the rest of the time on my own except for today. I decided to go to the drs and tell them how i was feeling and how my pain is still getting worse I even asked if they could refer me to a rheumatologist i haven't seen one in years and i haven't had any blood tests or anything done. The GP's attitude was if i was going to do it then thats unto me that there was nothing they could do to stop me. Then she said to get out for a walk. So I have a splint on one hand and walk with a crutch with the other i'm in agony and her answer is to go for a walk or go catch a bus. I was there because of the pain and mental health and to be honest i felt worse when i came out than i did when i went in. I will just be so glad when this year is over because with one thing and another that has happened i am really not sure how much more i can actually take. I was dumped in July after a 4 year relationship I had a date a couple of weeks ago and really got on with the guy and we had a couple more dates but then it stopped and yet we got on so well it just never made sense and i think because he made me laugh he made me feel better so then stopping its like another slap in the face. Sorry to go on i just needed to get it out i just feel so let down whichever way i turn i have contacted the council explaining to them the problem i was going to do a swap with a lady but they turned it down as i am not old enough to have a bungalow in Bournemouth you have to be 60 it was so perfect as well. 3 of my 4 children now live in Leicester and my daughter is going once she has married in May. So i am in two minds as to whether to go there because i will miss my daughter so much and i don't want another christmas on my own. Has anyone tried mindfulness at all? Thanks for reading if you've not got bored by now. I would like to wish everyone on here a Very Happy New Year and may you all find some peace and let up of pain in the new year. Thanks especially to the admins on here who do a wonderful job.

16 Replies

  • Dear Michelle I am so sorry you have had such a awful time over Christmas.if I were in your situation with housing issues and loneliness I would be thinking very seriously about moving with your family, maybe make sure you research your new home with your family so you feel more secure and settled. I have had fibromyalgia for 15years now and have hit rock bottom several times especially when my partner and best friend past over leaving me feeling very alone, I make sure I go to family days no matter how bad I feel, it always cheers me up, my pain is not managed and I find meditation or mindfulness through music helps me focus on nicer things. Letting go of the past and moving on is always a challenge but can be very rewarding. Hope you have a better new year and who knows, new beginnings. Gentle hugs.

  • Sorry to hear things are bad for you at the moment. Meditation has helped me in the past as does anything that reduces stress. Certainly not bored just wish I could do more to help but perhaps knowing someone cares helps. gentle hugs

  • so sorry to read you had such a horrible time.if I were you I would move to be near my family.i used to live next door in my two previous homes to neighbours from hell -both druggies and often woken in the early hours with banging and shouting etc so I can really sympathise with you and your situation.then I moved to where i am now -in a lovely place to live,have good friends and neighbours and the house of my dreams with my two faithful (dog )friends.do you have any pets?i know you are unable to walk unaided but a dog would be good company for you.mine changed my life.

  • Hi michaelb62

    I have read your post with so much pain and sorrow for what you are still having to endure. I genuinely hope that you can start to move things on in your life and that things pick up for you. I know I have said this to you before but please ring the Samaritans if everything starts to get too much for you? I have pasted their telephone number below:

    Samaritans: 08457 90 90 90

    I have also pasted an email address for them as well:


    I want to wish you all the best and I sincerely hope that you can find the strength to turn things around. Please remember that if you ever need an online friend we are here, and your local A&E will never turn you away if you are struggling so badly.

    Please take care of yourself


  • If you don't mind me saying, your gp has a rotten attitude to a chronically unwell person and needs a rocket up the posterior! I live in Bournemouth and have a long history with North B'mth MHT, not good! I 'fired' the Consultant in January 2007, and although I still have episodes I am generally more able to cope than I used to. Problem is, they offer, ahem, 'support' but don't deliver which as you said just makes you feel even worse! The CPN you spoke to clearly had no intention of trying to help.

    The 1st and most importing thing I think is to find a decent GP, and the good news is they are out there. If you would like to send a 'private message', I may, I hope, be able to help. No promises of course, but I'm happy to try.

    One of the best things to hold on to is, this will pass. It will. It may not feel like it now, but life changes. Every time you wake up in the morning, or afternoon for that matter, you don't know what opportunity may come along. This morning you have reached out to this website which I have found is an amazing place to come to! Information, support, anything is possible.

    Tulip xx

  • Hi, my heart goes out to you, I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful husband that completely understands the fibro and he helps me to get through the rough times.

    Have you considered a iPod type device with some music or talking books with earphones ?. When you're tired or just feeling low (I completely understand how that feels as I've suffered from depression for 20yrs plus) you could pop you're headphones in and block the noise out.

    Please take care of yourself sweetie xxxxx

  • Thanks Pennie I have my iPod on at night with earplugs in but can still hear the noise at night and when the dog jumps off the bed and starts scratching its like someone hammering nails into the floor above so wakes me if i have actually got off to sleep and then i'm looking round thinking someone has broken in. I just feel scared most of the time. I try focusing on other things but once i can hear the humming i cant switch it out. For the first time last night i didn't hear the dog scratch at all thats the first night in nearly 3 weeks. I have notified my housing officer but i am assuming he is not at work until next week. I m hoping i will hear from him then. So i can find out what my actual options are. Hope you have a Happy New Year. xxx

  • Hi, I hope you're feeling a bit better. Wish you more luck 2015! Tulip x

  • Thanks Tulip i spent New Years on my own the same as christmas so i m now relieved it is all over. I am hoping 2015 will be better but i really daren't even hope it as it seems every year i am being wished a better new year. Seeing the surgeon who did my hand surgery next week as my hand doesn't seem right not like the other one when i had that done both elbows are now being affected which is just not what i want running out of joints that don't help. My neighbours above the last two nights have decided to pace the bedroom floor which has kept me more awake as all i can hear is the creaking floor joists. Then after dosing off at 4.00am the woman alarm went off at 5.59 so then i was woken up again from that along with the bed drawers being opened and closed and then the pacing again. Even with my earplugs in i can hear everything i sometimes wish there was a switch that we could turn on and off so we couldn't hear noise it seems my hearing is extra sensitive i cant even sleep with a clock ticking it makes me want to throw it out of the window. When i used to stay at my grandma's i would put the clock in a drawer under a load of clothes. I just need some sleep as every part of me aches and i feel like I've been run over by a bulldozer.


  • Oh Jackie, I feel for you so much. Noise sensitivity is another symptom of FM, some more severe than others. I don't know what to suggest. I hope someone from this site can offer something constructive to help you, I just wanted to offer a bit of TLC. Tulip xx

  • Thanks for your support Tulip it is very much appreciated I hadn't realised that noise sensitivity was another symptom of FM so i learnt something new today if nothing else. My ears have always been sensitive and noises have always annoyed me once i pick them up i cant seem to tune them out. Over the last week i have tried o hard to try and relax about the noise above but the last two nights it has driven me crazy no matter how much i try to relax and focus on other things. This is the only place i feel i can now get support from i know there are other drs at my surgery that i still haven't seen if the first dr i saw there was a permanent fixture i would have stuck with him as he really listened and was really nice and supportive but it turned out he was only a temp. The other 3 i have seen i have felt totally let down. I hope you had a lovely New Year and this year is kind to you. Jackie xxx

  • Thank you Jackie, I hope you get some answers, finding a compassionate and caring gp would be a def. bonus! Mine changed everything for me. My health is generally very poor, I'm housebound and I cannot imagine putting up with that noise 24/7!

    I think it's time for you to be on the receiving end of some kindness now. Tulip xx

  • Hi Tulip

    At 6.30 tonight i actually had a call from a social worker the housing officer had emailed her to say what had been going on and that there is nothing he can do regarding my housing. As i was talking to her she said someone from mental health team had been out to see me on the 30th October I said pardon she said some womans name so i said no one has been out to see me at all and i know in October for definite because it wasn't long after i had had my arm surgery. she knew about my call to mental health team although i didn't go into that one. But some of the things i said to her she obviously had no clue about. For instance the fact i had an exchange but was denied it she seemed totally shocked about that one saying she didn't know they could do that. I said about being disabled and how i had called care direct to come out and assess me when i moved here in September and that when i lived in a private home they were out straight away but since I've been here i asked them to come out and they wrote to me saying they were to busy. so i told her about having no handles in the bathroom to get in and out of the bath and nothing near the toilet to get up. She didn't even realise i was disabled. At the end of the conversation she said that someone will be in touch next week and if i don't hear she gave me a number to call. Also the council came out to assess putting a light outside my front door because when you go to go out in the dark just as you go to go out there is a step and its only a matter of time before i or someone else forgets its there and falls over. I have been on at them since the day i moved in to do something. I have just come to bed this is late for me but i swear that the people upstairs follow me i stay up late they stay up late i come to bed early and they are in bed early. I have contemplated sleeping in the lounge to see if i get some peace but it would cause too much pain. The bed causes me enough discomfort as it is.

    Well we will see if i get any joy with the social workers i guess time will tell.

    Sorry to hear you are totally housebound i have been like that almost since my surgery and not wanting to go out now through the depression.

    sending you some gentle hugs and again thank you for the support.


  • This is all so wrong. Under the circumstances I think you are doing so well, but everyone has their breaking point. I've read back through to your original post. Just for clarity, are you currently in B'mth? Do you have any family at all living locally? You have so much to contend with, and I think the first thing you need is a caring gp, who can make referrals etc. to help you with all this mess. The Council are responsible for investigating noise complaints whether it involves Council property or private. How on earth you're supposed to manage without adequate sleep I do not know. It is torture! If partly down to inadequate soundproofing between you and private tenants above you, they have to come and correct it! I know how B'mth Council operate. I have had problems too, I'm happy to give you some tips etc. In my experience, as soon as 'mental health' is mentioned everyone seems to run for cover! I do have some suggestions, may or may not be helpful. I need to go to bed now, but I will log in again in the morning.

    I'm glad you find the support from this Website is helpful. Helps me too, and I've been a member since Spring 2012 (? I think). Take care. Tulip xx

  • Hi Jackie,

    So sorry to hear of your problems, it's difficult enough with Fibro let alone broken bones, depression, lack of sleep and added stress of noisy neighbours. You have been positive in your actions contacting the relevant agencies asking for help and posting here, there are many here that know how difficult that can be. I understand how it feels when each day seems to bring a new set of challenges and yet more things to attend to and remember. I am from Bournemouth originally, an Avonbourne Girl, but moved away over 30 years ago, I have family and friends still there but my children have grown up here and the move back would be difficult now. I have missed visiting this year but I haven't been up to the drive. I had surgery on my lumbar spine a year ago last November and it has taken my system such a long time to get over the impact it had on me and the Fibromyalgia. I too hit a very low point mood wise and am still on my antidepressants although I am so much better now. The best piece of advice I was given was to be kind to myself. It is with hindsight that I can see what was meant as I was having expectations of myself that were unrealistic. I have since learned to take things slower and to allow time just for me, time where I do exactly as I please as long as it's something that gives me the feel good factor. Remember that the stress of surgery will have a bigger impact on a Fibro patient than one without, frustrating though it is.

    Your GP sounds as sympathetic and helpful as mine, I think that sometimes they look at our diagnosis, see Fibro and depression and hurry to get us out the door. I got so fed up that I insisted on a referral and when she tried to side step I mentioned patient choice and the charter. I had been denied a referral by two other GP's within the surgery. When I finally got my referral I had already contacted the unit I wished to go to, checked their referral criteria and met 3 out of 5. When I presented the third GP with emails from the consultants secretary agreeing that I met the referral criteria they could no longer deny me. It has resulted in my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, occipital neuralgia and migraine. I also had a ruptured disc in my lumbar spine with compression on the nerve which needed surgery. I now have a very different relationship with my GP, I am listened to now. I think I had been written off as some sort of attention seeking psyche case when in reality I was depressed following the loss of my Father and had very real pain which made no sense to me as I had previously been fit and healthy. I think that the realisation that I had become a vulnerable adult was initially shocking but now, I think, empowering. I have found that people will listen better when I point out that I need their assistance as I feel vulnerable, which I do at times.

    I know that a friend of mine with mental health problems managed to get hold of an advocate to help her when she was facing difficulties and needed help and support. I think she went through the mental health team up here in the North. A similar service should exist in Bournemouth if you feel that you would benefit.

    I practice Mindfulness, I was taught whilst on a pain management programme. I find it useful as, with practice, it has enabled me to perceive the pain as less important, take my focus away from the pain and live in the moment, noticing pleasant sensations as well as unpleasant ones or perhaps giving my full attention to the task in hand. There is information on The Walton Centre's website under the Pain Management Programme's links. There is also quite a bit of information on the net if you put in a search.

    I do hope you are able to get your problems sorted and that you manage to have a decent sleep before too long. May peace and wellness be with you soon.

    Healing hugs,

    Gin :-)

  • Hi Gin

    Thank you for your very informative email it was very interesting to read. I have seen things around about mindfulness so may look into that once I have sorted other things out.

    Thank you again



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