my daughter

As you all know i had surgery on my hand then as i was recovering i had fallen and broken my arm at the same time i had just moved into this council place, been dumped by my partner of 3 and a half years who i still love so its proving very difficult to deal with everything on top of that my memory has deteriorated really badly lately partly i think to me upping my amytryptiline to a high dose to help me sleep. My daughter has my car so she can take me to physic or dr's or hospital appointments i don't ask a lot of her but for around the 7-8 weeks now i have spent most all that time on my own and its not doing me any good. i cant do my hobby which normally keeps me sane. i'm unable to do much at all. My daughter for the last few weeks has been getting more and more snappy with me and angry with me shouting at me that i have told her things numerous times. yesterday she came round as she was going to change my bed linen for me i was going to have a bath as i dent do it unless she is here in case i fall and just give my kitchen floor a steam clean and i thought to just see me and have a chat. Anyway she arrived already grumpy she steamed the kitchen floor took 5 minutes i asked her if she wanted a cup of tea so she said yes i made that and we went in the lounge she then began talking about a book she had read and couldn't remember the title of . We eventually worked out which it was. i was then just chatting and repeated something i had already said some other time and she just snapped at me saying she knew i had told her 6 times already and she didn't want to hear it again. i was then fiddling with my iPad and put a new song from Michael Balls new album on and asked her if she knew the song she yelled again i hate that song so i put a different one on just trying to find out if they were known songs and who they had been sung by she yelled again why are you playing music i have a headache. So i said I'm going to have a bath and she said fine. I managed to get out didn't dare ask for her help. Came into the lounge where she had the tv on.

I knew she was getting ready to leave and asked her if she could wrap my mums birthday present up and put it through the door on her way home as she passes their place. she huffed and puffed then left. No bed linen changed i knew that now i would not see her or anyone until sometime next week now. she phoned me to ask which number my mum lived at i mean they have lived i the same place all her life i assumed she knew the number.

I was sobbing by then as she had upset me so much and i just find it hard to deal with whereas we normally have a great relationship i know her living conditions aren't great as we were all living in a lovely big bungalow with a large garden but had to leave when my partner dumped me as we couldn't afford it. So they and their 4 dogs are now living in the basement of her fiancees mothers house and the stepfather doesn't like it so there is a lot of pressure there and i understand that she also has her PIP assessment on Tuesday so is probably stressing about that as wells she has waited for 32 weeks. They are planning to get married in May and are then moving up to Leicester where my other 3 children are and where i originate from so kind of ironic.

However she texted me later yesterday to say she couldn't put the present through the door and no one was in so she then had a go at me as i had texted my mum to say she was dropping the present off. But my mum had texted her to ask her to pop round. so i was the villain again accused of having to make her go out again and she was sick of being a taxi driver for me. so i told her to bring my car back but she said no because I'm not insured to drive it with my arm in plaster and she just went mad at me by text saying she was sick of hearing about my past relationship and i should move on and some not nice things. I should have postponed my surgery until i was settled and in a better place mentally but she has really hurt me with her behaviour.

Sorry to go on but i just needed to get it off my chest as she has really upset me.


11 Replies

  • Oh Jackie, you poor thing! Talk about it never rains but it pours. I do understand your situation with your daughter as one of mine is a little like that lately. She only wants to hear me say that I am well. For the sake of peace, if I were you I wouldn't mentioned your last relationship to her again. Just wait until they get to our age and have a few health and relationship problems!

    Big hug.


  • Sorry you are going through all this but as the mother you have to be the one who is understanding. Your daughter is also going through a lot too much so I can see that she is having trouble keeping it all together. Suggest that you leave her alone for a while.

  • That is what i am trying to do but as i have had my surgery then broken my arm i have a couple of appointments to attend and that is all i ever ask her to do. She has my car where she is living and theft i have fallen several times is quite frightening which is how i broke my arm. We normally have a great relationship and i have been making excuses for her but the snapping just upset me yesterday in the last 7 weeks i have hardly left a flat that i am terrified to live in except for hospital and drs appointments.

    My daughter is my baby and i love her to bits and do understand she is also going through a lot.

  • It the people we love the most that can hurt us the most. Things will get better, Gentle hugs

  • (((((((((hugs)))))))) no idea what to say we are all here. Lou xxx

  • Thanks Lou sending gentle hugs back. My life has been turned completely upside down sinc July and I really cannot deal with anymore. The thought of Christmas fills me with dread I wish I could go to sleep now and wake up when it's all over. I am 52 years old and I just want to feel needed and to love and be loved and I thought I had that but was told he had settled for me and pitied me and that hurts so much as this man I love is deaf and has a form of space phobia in that he can only drive in a 10 mile radius and it has to be specific routes that he takes. I accepted hi fully with those issues and have him my whole heart and if he turned up here tomorrow I know I would have him back much to the dismay of my friends and family. Ending two marriages was simpler than getting over this and one marriage was 22 years long. Hugs

    Jackie x

  • Hi michaelb62

    I am so very sorry to read all of this, and I genuinely hope that when things settle down more for your daughter that you will both again share that special relationship that you use to share. It really does sound very difficult for both of you at this time, and I can genuinely imagine that there is a lot of tension and frayed nerves all round? Please take care of yourself and I will keep my fingers crossed that when she moves to Leicester that you will be okay with her moving away?

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Thanks Ken, I am not sure yet as to whether I will be also moving back to Leicester having just come out of a 3 and a half year relationship and finding it extremely difficult to come to terms with especially as I loved the man so much for all 4 of my children to move to Leicester where I spent the first 17 years of my life and moved down south with my parents. I go from struggling to cope with actually continuing to live, to trying to decide whether it would be good for ,e to move away and have a new start. My daughter wants me there I just don't want my children thinking I am just following them I know they need to live there own lives and make there decisions now they are adults. I am unsure at this time how to move forward with anything. I don't sleep as my brain goes into overdrive and my pain levels are very high tonight I have had to take extra oromorph to try and get my hips and knees to stop aching one of those nights where I would happily chop off both legs from the waist down.

    Just struggling with everyday living at the moment.


  • Hi Jackie

    I am so sorry to hear that you're having so many problems at the moment.

    I just wanted to say that if you ever need a friendly ear, please message me. I am also on my own now and have no family or local friends. So, I may not be able to fix your problems, but I definitely have a good pair of ears/eyes if you need to vent.

    I can see how much strain both you and your daughter are under at the moment and I am sure things will calm down again, given time. You need to try to get as much sleep as you can (if any), as that will only make you feel worse.

    Fluffy hugs

    Jayne xx

  • Thanks Jayne, I finally nodded off at 6 this morning to be woken at 8 by the owner of the flat above as every single movement is heard through the floorboards. As he is trying to get it ready for new tenants as the last one wrecked the place. I am actually dreading someone moving in because of the no soundproofing i was assured by the council that there was adequate soundproofing between there floors if i had known it was going to be like this i would never have taken the place. I feel so tired today and the noise upstairs is making me feel more and more stressed i feel i want to just scream. i know it sounds pathetic but i have lived in converted flats before and i am so sensitive to noise i cant even have a clock ticking. I am sitting here freezing cant get clothes on over the cast that has been put on and don't go to fracture clinic until next friday. The owner upstairs is a lovely guy but i just wish he had started early in another room. now i am sitting in the lounge he is above me here. I am hoping once carpets go down it will dull a bit of the noise if not i will have to move again and all i want to do is settle down somewhere. i have moved 10 times since my marriage broke down in 2007. I had thought this would be it. But with armed police coming round a couple of weeks ago and fire brigade. The man from the council said that 5 properties were being watched by themselves and the police.

    Sorry to go on just feeling very frustrated at the moment i just don't want to be around anymore its just all pulling me down again.

    Hugs to you



  • hi Jackie sorry to hear you are still having a bad time its really horable having to rely on somebody as I have to as well and it can get really lonely thank god we've got healthunloccked well take care things will get better xx

You may also like...