Background: So having been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last week at Pain Clinic, also struggling with Osteoarthritis for many many years having meant I’ve had 7 operations in last 4 years and awaiting a gall bladder removal since start of COVID. I have been in so much pain and so ill for so long and brain fog and smell and taste is awful since having COVID since August 2021, I have depression made worse since losing dad start of lockdown.
Issues: my daughter (22) had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last year. She has depression. She has just been awful towards me saying things like “I'm always ill”, “god sake I’ve told you already”, “why are you crying”…….she sleeps all the time, has been through 3 jobs in past year, doesn’t help in the house anymore and just says it’s because she’s depressed. I help her with money she’s nice then next day back to normal being horrible……😥
I just don’t know what to do or say anymore, I love her and thought she would be more understanding but she can be so cruel….help 😢😢😢😢
Written by
HarleyBabe
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Sorry that your daughter is not being as understanding as you would have expected her to be, when she is the person who will understand most what you are going through if she also suffers.
While she may be lashing out because of her depression, it does not condone her behaviour
Good morning Harley, having to cope with a mentally ill son who goes through depressive episodes at times I can empathise with your situation.
If your daughter as recently started medication for depression it may take a while to kick in.
If she as been on it for sometime it may need adjusting or even changing. It may not suit her and be making her feel worse. Only her GP can help and would strongly advise you ask her to see her doctor and get it checked out. True depression is a terrible illness and does need medical monitoring.
My son took a bad episode back in September. We are now going into July.
Its taken almost 10 months to get him back on the road to what feels good for him. But those 10 months were h**l not just for him but for me too.
Please try and speak with her GP. It does sound like she needs help.
At least try and update the GP on her depressive behaviour.
I know they wont discuss your daughters medical situation with you. Her been an adult. But they should be made aware of how she feels.
Its hard for you. But untill you get your daughters depressive behaviour sorted out nothing will change 🙁
My heart goes out too you , we give our love unconditionally and would do anything for our children and you get rewarded with spiteful words ☹️Is there anybody in your family that could chat too her or even practioner nurse, yes I thought with you both suffering the same way she should really understand. You have had an awful lot going on and the loss of a parent as well, I hope you have a good friend ?someone for you too talk with . Is there anybody she could stay with and give you some space(someone in the family? Someone differently needs too have a word as she will think it’s okay too keep doing this , I told my 35yr old daughter off last week, she didn’t like it but she was in the wrong and it needed too be said . Unfortunately they have lots going on in their world and it’s easy too forget the one person that’s there 110 percent , lots of hugs xx
I’m sorry to hear how terrible things are for you right now with your poor health & then the issues with the poor relationship with your daughter. It’s such a difficult situation when relationships start to break down and no doubt your Daughter would see things differently from her point of view, and it all be your fault. After a while, it becomes a habit / pattern you fall into. It’s so sad your both suffering from this horrible FMS & other co- conditions and it’s unimaginable how you must be feeling each day. Would it be an idea for you to write a note to your Daughter to offer to sit down and have a conversation about how you can work together, to try to live peacefully and respectfully with each other. And, how you can support one another. Hopefully, you would be able to explain how hurt your feeling and that you really want to work with her to start afresh and look after each other best you can. I wish I had a Magic Wand to make it all better for you both 😢
Ditto,my kids are all the same ,when I was diagnosed with fibro and other issues ,they where like oh we will do everything you just need to ask for help at first ,and know they don’t do a thing to help me ,when I ask everything is a major drama with them .
Been through this and hold the workds biggest t shirt for behaviour like your daughters and severely worse. It was me against my 2 sons. I do realise she may also be grieving but I'm of the opinion that if you won't talk about your issues then your bad behaviour after a while is inexcusable.
I once saw a Consultant years ago and wished I listened and took on board what he said up to 4 years after the fact. He told me to get rid of whoever and whatever is giving me stress in my life. Hence me not speaking to my 2 sons. Its like an epiphany due to feeling lighter, the loosening of joint stiffness and level of pains. My eldest keeps trying to come back but I'll be moving soon and he isn't getting my new address. Hope it goes OK. Its hard but it needs doing. All the best 😍
Just read your message and noticed it was a year ago. I was wondering if things have improved for you and if you and your daughter are doing . I hope so x
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