Absolutely Fuming!!!

Today, I felt like popping into town. As I was going into Marks and Spencers I met someone I know from the fybro support group who was using a mobility scooter. She decided to park it outside and try and walk round the store using the trolley as an 'aid'. I thought nothing of this but admired her for trying to excercise even though she is in a great deal of pain. We went our seperate ways in store and as I was coming out I noticed her scooter was where she had left it. There was an elderley lady stood close by (late 70's early 80's) and she had the vindictiveness to say, '' I don't know who has left that scooter their but they musn't need it and must be defrauding the benefit system''!!!!!I was absolutely sick to my heart that the rhetoric vitriolically spilled by the goverment and the D.W.P. is even seeping into brains of retired folk and they believe everyone is a scrounger who needs help to get by.

It truly truly saddens me that anyone and everyone are now scapegoats because the government have done such a hatchet job on the sick and disabled. I hate being this way, I hate being unable to work (I have a long career as a nurse behind me) and I suffer

from depression because I can see no end to this but how fit and well people can be so hurtful is beyond my comprehension. Rant over :(

16 Replies

  • may not be an evil old lady but definitely a thoughtless one and it is how the government and TV programmes encourages us to think. Mind you never met a sweet old lady.

    I once went shopping with my husband and used the blue badge, i had had enough and sat outside a shop while he went to get the car and someone shouted that he should have been ashamed of himself.

    An MP parked at a railway station disabled space as he thought he was more important than a disabled person.

  • a few years ago, I parked my mobility car (complete with ramp and scooter) in a general space at a supermarket, after trying for nearly half an hour for a disabled space.

    suddenly, there was a loud banging on my door window.

    "that's a normal persons parking space! There are spaces for people like you!"

    But there are, thankfully, many more who are helpful and kind.

    maybe that lady was hot, tired and a bit cross.

  • agreed 99% of people well maybe 95% are helpful unless they happen to be related.

  • I'm a sweet old lady; (Most of the time!) I wouldn't dream of questioning anybody's right to use a scooter up to the door of a store. I often have to abandon my walker when in certain stores as there just isn't enough room, this applies particularly in Charity shops!

    Unfortunately these days we are encouraged to think the worst of folk, even sweet old ladies! Hehehe!

  • Yes there are a lot of judgemental people out there and judge out of pure ignorance, I know that someone who is quite close to me ,does not think I need a blue badge , and another friend said to my face she needed a mobility scooter more than me , I was hurt at first but I went away and thought about it , these two individuals are the only two who have not visted me when I was seriously unwell ,they avoid me like the plague, they are part of my group of friends but do you know what when they have both been unwell in the past few years there family's only turned up when they were in hospital I was the one who they called for help before they went in :-) , and needed things done at home or shopping ,there both amazed at how close I am with my children and how much we do for each other without a second thought ,what's the saying what goes around comes around :-) , I have just lost my job because of my ill health and I am getting to the point now that I look well ,I am now waiting for the backlash from ignorance but perhaps I will be pleasantly surprised keep your fingers crossed xx keep your chin up and don't worry about ranting we all do it here ,no one gets hurt and you need to let off steam ,were here to support each other give yourself a hug and maybe a nice bath take care x

  • Every time someone tells me I'm 'looking well', I say thank you for that, but looks can be deceiving With the biggest smile in my face ☺

  • Good response I might use that one myself

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • I also say I'm getting very good with the old make up. Lol x

  • I agree and think that people who make such comments are probably fortunate and have never had to access the benefits system themselves. The government and the press have encouraged people in this country to turn on the sick and poor. The amount of fraudulent claims for sickness benefits is tiny but you would not think that if you read the newspaper and watch the popular TV programmes . It makes me very sad and angry because that's what the systems are there for and to try and make the people who need to use them feel bad or ashamed is disgraceful. I'd like them all to have have fibro for a month or so.

  • At the moment I survive on my 'nurses pension' n hubbys wages so I suppose I am more fortunate than most. However money is tight and dont have any spare. Have been researching the benefits I may be entitled to, which, would make life more easier if only for using taxis to get about whereas now if hubby at work I am housebound because I can't use public transport, but, don't know wether I could stand the hoops I would have to jump through or the disdain from people that believe what the goverment tells them. Think you need to be in a strong place mentally to take the system on, and I aint!! not just yet anyways lol xxx

  • i no just wot you mean i have stopped parking in disabled bays to stop being spat at and all the abuse .i don't wont to go out a am so sick of it.

  • My response to people who deem them selves good enough to make such comments "I wonder how you'd cope walking in my shoes for an hour or two.....goodness knows you'd never manage a whole day :-) this shuts the rotters up lol!

  • I agree wholeheartedly with you after the experience my son was judged after pulling into a Disabled Parking Bay. Just because he"s only 30 years old & driving a Brand new car (mobility), his life is difficult enough without being judged by people who know nothing about him! He was just about to Display his Blue Badges when Security Guard "Hammered" on his window, "Where"s your Badges!". My son said give me second as keeps them in Glove compartment, this was"nt good enough he "Hammered!" glass again, so my son just showed him his Badges. He persisted on banging window until my son opened door & Security Guard insisted on holding them , inspecting them, looking at his photo, date ect.

    He soon turned on his heel when he saw my son get out of car, almost 6 foot 4" he picked up speed back to office my son followed him politely asking "Excuse me sir, can you tell me why you harassed me whilst there were 2 people either side of me sitting in their cars not displaying Blue Badges but you did"t bang on their car, can you explain why you choose me!"

    Security Guard skittered back to his office! My son went into Chemist & was telling the Pharmacist, who could describe Sec. guard as pestering young Disabled Drivers & women in Children spaces, advised my son to report him. told him where the Office was.

    So my son sick of being judged himself so many times decided to go to the Office. As he approached it they locked themselves in! My son could see High vis jacket so told them if they did"nt open door to sort things out he was going to Report them to Discrimination for Disabled People!

    They soon opened the door, my son politely asked to speak to the Manager as he felt he had been singled out & harassed ect. Cut long story short the Security Guard was forced to Apologise to my son!

    This is only one occasion. I was so proud of him as he is usually so laid back but a very intelligent young man, who studied Law & Politics @ University so he had them tied up in knots with his vocabulary! As he told them he would willingly "Plug his Pain into them", swap places & give them his car in return for health & being able to work himself!

    Thank you lollylane for bring this out into the Open! I wish you well as a sufferer from depression myself & sincerely hope you start to improve soon! Don"t worry about "Ranting" thats what were are here for, had many myself on this Site as sufferer of Fibro myself!

    We always try & support, each other & I"ve had immense support, sound advice from this wonderful site!

    Take Care

    (((Gentle hugs)))

    Lynn X

    This should not be the case it is bad enough to be disabled @ such a young age, also people are not aware extent of peoples disabilities! My sons on 2 crutches (Sometimes has to use his Wheelchair) & has a Progressive, incurable, genetic fatal syndrome/dystrophy, so his life is difficult enough without Smart A licks making lives even more difficult for no reason! Please get your facts right & don"t "Tar" everyone with the same brush!

  • Hi lollylane

    I am so sorry to read that you were the victim of what appears to be a 'human response', i.e. people quite often do not think when they pass comments! Quite ironically, I had a strange experience yesterday with a gentleman who lives quite close to me. He asked me what my illness was and the conversation did not end well.

    However, I always like to think that I win these sorts of arguments by saying that they should not make conclusions if they no nothing about the subject!

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Thank you all for your lovely comments, You all make me want to weep purely because of the empathy I find on this site. Usually I am more well balanced than my rant of yesterday, but my daughter just paid for me a week in Spain, where I sat and rested the whole week. I came back feeling wonderful. But with our 'damp' climate my paiin had kicked in with a vengeance and so wasn't feeling my best., and the ''darling little old lady'' caught me on a 'low' At the moment I just feel every day is a battle to get through and can't wait for bed (don't know why though) spend most of the night awake. Oh well will carry on and just hope I don't meet any more people today who believe people who 'look' well, are! Soft and gentle hugs to you all xxxx

  • Hi, You have every right to have a good old rant :) Stuff like this is saddening! Especially, that I find this circumstance happening all the time. Got to the stage i find it not worth arguing over. I let it wash over me and think they clearly have no idea. It's total ignorance! The most common getting weird looks when I use provided seats in the chemist or at the front of the bus people look at me in disgust and think I'm a young teen (I look very young for my age) being anti social. Lol the funniest was seeing a row of seats in the chemist standing for ages and thinking that'll do. Wasn't until I saw shocked looks I realised I was sitting in the methadone queue. Though I stayed there because I really needed that seat I was particularly in pain that day.

    I have family members that say why don't you get a wee job. I know so and so who's a lawyer and has the same illness as you.

    The reality is I'd love to be working, but I know it's just not possible at the moment. People don't get that, but I just decide not to value their opinions. I know best :) you just have to tell yourself that. People say ridiculous things all the time you just have to see it as that and know you're own worth. Though it sounds like you do having a long term career as a nurse. :) x

    P.s it's sent me on a rant too haha :D

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