I am thoroughly exhausted and at the moment there is no chance of a rest. I am currently looking after my daughter in law and the little girls 2 and 3. My daughter law is quite ill and is unable to do much at all. It is possible that she has Crohns disease. she is in so much pain and finding hard to do anything. My son has had to go back to work as they have had no money for a fortnight, i am helping as best i can. Washing, cooking cleaning, looking after the girls. Its hard work and i am so tired. Fortunately they only live 5 min away from me, but when get home around 7ish i am done in, My pain levels are so high, it is hard to cope with it. i go to bed about 10 but by 4am i am awake again. There is no other family close by that can help, although at the weekend my other son and his wife come over and i take a break. This is really affecting the Fibro and with my son so stressed out about money etc, i am getting very stressed which is not helping. Sometimes i just want to walk away and say get on with it, but thats not me, at the moment there seems to be no end to it. The GP is doing all he can to try and diagnose her illness but it all takes time.

9 Replies

  • oh linda, I do hope your daughter in law is feeling better soon, and that you continue to cope.

    Note no nearby family but are there friends who could help, sometimes you just need to ask. I employed next door's teenage daughter when I was having a bad patch at 16 could not ask her to do a lot but she was an extra pair of eyes and hands.

  • So sorry you and your family having such a tough time.

    You need to try to look after yourself too, or you will be no help to them x

    As Betty says, is there a friend that could help - maybe someone that could look after the little ones for a while (even while you are there) to help lighten the load?

    May be worth speaking to GP or citizens advice, they maybe able to put you in touch with a local support group with people who could help with some child care or household chores whilst you are all waiting for a diagnosis.

    I hope you get some help and rest soon xxxx

  • Hi I'm new on this site but have suffered for a long time. I'm sorry to hear your daughter in law is poorly too but as mums we always try to make everything right. Have you tried a mum n tot group where you can sit n watch the children play rather than try to occupy them n then have to clean up after them. I know it will only be for a couple of hours but it might help. I found that sitting in the bathroom while they played in the bath also helped and can take care of another hour. Sitting and sharing books will also occupy the children without making a mess that you then have to clean up. Hope all is well soon for you all. Thinking if you and your family

  • Hi painfulone

    I sincerely hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? I just wanted to say a big hello and welcome to the forum, I genuinely hope that you find it useful? I have pasted you a link below to our mother site, FibroAction, and it has loads of useful Fibro information:


    I sincerely look forward to bumping into you around the site.

    All my hopes and dreams for you


  • Ihi lindamorgan, sorry your family are going through such a crisis. It is possible to get help with childcare etc through social services, they can allot so many hours a week of different care including housework/ shopping for people who are ill and struggling. It may sound scary but they can be very helpful and if it is crohns she will need long term help, preferably before you collapse too. Wishing you and your family all the best,


  • Another busy day, but so far not to bad although tired. Son asked me i would babysit the girls Saturday evening but i have told him no, its my turn to take a break. He was not to happy, but i told come Friday i will have done enough and am taking a break whether he likes it or not.

  • Well done for saying no. You are already doing a lot for them and need to take care of yourself and get your well earned rest xxx

  • Hi lindamorgan

    I am so sorry to read that you have all found yourselves in this untenable situation, and I genuinely hope that your daughter in law starts to feel better soon and that your Fibro can stand the rigours and demands of looking after so many people.

    There will be help out there through social services and other governmental and non-governmental bodies, and it would be fair on you if they accepted some of this help that is available. That way any duties could be shared and you would not get so worn out. I want to wish you all the best of luck.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • So sorry for you and your daughter in law. Hope they find out whats wrong and she starts feeling better. Hope you can get some rest sweetheart!!! xxxxx Mitzi

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