Feeling so low, family arguments, why am I the only one to stay positive when tired & in pain? All I get back is negativity?

Sorry to dump this here, but am not able to talk about how I really feel as it upsets family, Son already depressed, Hubby stressed, Daughter tired, don't want me dragging them down, so much ndgativity, so much anger. Couldn't get Son to visit grandparents yesterday so now have that guilt on me too. He hates my side of the family, due to how they've been, but if I can face them for one day, why can't he, not even for me? Sorry, just so tired, have to get it out. Plus, one of my crowns came out last night, right at the front of my mouth, and more hair keeps falling out, plus someone stole my lie in, a whole hour, just gone! Sorry, I knw there are people on here with real probs, hope everyone is having a good Mothers Day, hugs, Julie xxxxx

30 Replies

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  • Hey don't be sorry Julie I am surrounded by negativity at the moment and struggling to keep positive but if we weren't there to kick them into touch who would do it???

    I'm sending you masses of fluffies to comfort you

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • Hugs Julie,

    struggling here too but when we need to vent we need to vent. And where better because he nobody judges us.

    Gentle hugs

    Jillyxx

  • Hi Jilly have missed seeing you around. Lots of calming healing lavender hugs sue xxx

  • Thank you . Appreciate the fluffs.

  • mee tooo Have missed you also sending many fluffie cuddles your way :) xxx

  • Thanks for the fluffy cuddles

  • ((((Jilly)))) so pleased you've come up for air :-) will be in touch :-)

    Foggy x

  • Thanks Foggy. Hope you are doing better?

  • Hi jillylin

    I genuinely hope that you are feeling better?

    Take care

    Ken x

  • Hi Ken, unfortunately not yet but I'm working on it.

    Hugs

    Jillxx

  • More Hugs Julie. Sounds real enough to me and this is just the place to air the views.

    I can't provide ways round this. Try to come to terms with the fact you won't change them. It may be more stressful getting son to grandparents than its worth and it does sound a bit two sided. No, he can't not even for you. I've been there and its so unproductive. Can you go without him?

    OH probably hates to see you all upset - so it adds to his problems too. I worked in a crematorium and I think its funerals and weddings bring out the best - and worst in people. In other words, adversity, which is what you have. There's a condition called being "in denial" I don't know if that applies to anyone in your scenario but the result sure sounds like it. As soon as crown is replaced that will be one thing less. I can't give mum's day back that stolen hour - just save it up for October.

    Try to think of me in Sian's onesie and about the phrase "bald as a badger" and you'll have something to laugh about. Loads of lavender scented hugs. xx

  • LOL now I have that image in my head :O LOL

  • Hehehe. The Goons said " the pictures in you head are far better than any on TV. :P

  • I only have vague memories of the Goons as I think I was small and squawky in those days :P Have only seen clips etc so shall have to take your word for it :P

  • I have all the BBC cds. I watched a cartoon or puppet show as a kid but can't remember them first time round. They could be insultingly topical. I think you're far too young for them :)

  • I'm sorry but you are defo going to have to get a train to Devon so I can watch your Goon show CDs .... I will feed you cream teas and allow you to cuddle a JRT in return :-) How's that ?

    Foggy x

  • Hate to say they were all radio shows bar one re union 30 years ago. You can find them on Radio4extra sometimes. Still want to cuddle a jrt though. :P

  • Huh so the offer of a Egon Ronay rated cream tea isn't enough to bribe you into sharing them huh, I'll I have to go and find some myself " little Jimmy's fallen in the water"

    :p

  • I'll just look at my Bradshaw's. There's 60 hours of wall to wall humour :) Enough for you? :)

  • Aw can I come too please? :)

  • ah bluebottle.................................. zzzzziiiiip!

  • You deaded me! He's fallen in the water

    I was major Bloodnok on the Railway. One of our officers also worked for Southwest Trains and got half a set of name badges before he was stopped :P

  • Hi Julie your problem is just as real as any other problem and just as important to you. I know full well how just one member of the family can cause ill feelings between every one. My whole family refused to visit us when my dad lived with us and then refused to visit him when he went into a home even I had to force myself to visit him . I found it easier just to go on my own than to try talking any one else to go with me.

    You have to put yourself first and not to fight with things that are unlikely to change.

    Just relax have a cuppa and put your feet up you deserve it. lots of gentle hugs sue

  • Hi Julie

    As all before have said this is the place to air your views and vent your feelings as we are all in this together to some extent. If we all had a wonderful life with no problems we would not be here it is because we all have by the very nature of the illness problems and they are all different that we are here.

    As all have said there is no way of getting away with doing everything to please everyone. what you should do is start to think of yourself and your immediate family as they are the ones who care most about you.

    Take care and kindest regards

    Terry

  • Hi Julie, I'm so so sorry you are having a rough time, you come here and sound so lovely and giving and yet, like many the analogy to the duck applies, all calm on the surface but paddling away like crazy underneath !

    Families can be such a minefield of disasters and all the guilt that is given or even implied can cause so much damage.

    You are so right to come here and vent to people who understand and can give you support and gently help you through the bad times.

    I'm sending huge amounts of positive vibes your way and just remember you are one very special lady :-)

    Foggy x

    Ps. Do pm me if I can help at all :-)

  • Hi Julie63

    I am so sorry to read that you have been suffering all of this emotional stress at this time, and I genuinely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to the issues.

    As others have already said, your problem is just as real and important as anyone else, and therefore it is important to me! There really does sound a lot of negativity around you, however, I think it is a normal negativity that you will find in most households everywhere.

    Many rebellious young people appear to thrive on negativity and being blatantly non-compliant with their parents wishes. So I would not let that worry you! I know that will be difficult but it is the nature of authority challenging young people. Please do not take on board any guilt for this as you cannot physically force anybody to do anything. Let the one's who will not comply take the guilt on-board if you can?

    I can imagine however, that you are concerned about your son being depressed, and I was wondering if he has spoken to his GP about this? I can also imagine that their is a pattern with your daughter feeling tired? In that they love you and are concerned about your welfare? I do not believe that you should try and hide how you feel from your family, but be more open to them and explain things so they do not feel as stressed. If that makes any sense to you?

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • evening Julie sounds like you are having a rough time of it at the moment. I know where you are coming from. Some how we need to detach ourselves hold our heads up high and you can we are allowed.not let the B********s get us down.

    Just wait things will improve Spring will come.

    I just watched Moorse well Endeavour poor young man he has a rough time of it not much laughter. I hope you can manage to see through the stuff from the family and smile we are allowed.......

    Best wishes have a good week xxxgins

  • Hi there Julie so sorry your are having a rough time and feeling so low, I second everything that all have said...so I won't bore you by repeating it all, except to send you gentle hugs, and a large handful of sunshine...you take care you don't want a fibro flare up to take hold...hope you had a brilliant Mother's Day....Dee xxx. ((((((( hugs Julie. ))))))

  • Hi and thank you All for your replies. I am feeling overwhelmed with all the fluffies, hugs, good vibes & positive messages, (plus the laugh I had picturing a bald badger in a onesie!) I got, thank you, they were much appreciated.

    Trying to shake off the negativity, but am still get flashes, like how Son was too tired to come out to lunch with us as he had been on his laptop in bed all night playing games all night even though we'd asked him not to on account of what weekend it was. We've also tried to get him to reduce the amount of time he spends on it, even his sister has tried to get him to go for a walk with her, plus the gp has told him he needs to get off the computer, but he won't even try. Am going to phone the teen counselling people gp referred him to, see if we can get an urgent appt, hate to see him so low. Daughter did two shifts at the hotel, so she was too tired to make mum cup of tea. Saturday, Hubby said not to worry about drying up in the morning as it was mum's day - it's still there now - If I don't do something round here, it doesn't get done.

    Ah well, will give myself a shake, steady on., not too hard, I've got fibro you know! Will get my make up on, paint on my smile and get up and moving.

    Once again, thanks for listening! Big gentle hugs, Julie xxxxx

  • Hi Julie, Please don"t feel the need to apologise for your feelings, which are justifiably correct!

    This is one place that we can come and vent all our feelings, good and bad, negative and positive! That is what we are all here for to support, advise if possible and help each other in any way we possibly can!

    I have done a couple of Posts when I felt, no-one to turn to, members who identifies, understands and can empathise, like us fellow sufferers! I"ve been most grateful for all support & advise given and take it on board too, always uplifts me! I spent Mothers Day mostly in tears Sunday due to pain & generally felling a burden! I was typing a Post @ 2-3 am and the feed back helped immensely!

    Please don"t think your problems are not real because they truly are! To be inflicted with such an insidious, debilitating illness is quite enough. Without trying to stay positive and paint on a happy smile. I wore a mask fo r years trying to hold it all together but soon came tumbling down and ended up having a Nervous Break-down & hubby had to finish an excellent job to care for me! That is why I often feel everythings my fault and a burden too!

    Just feel free to dump everything here, its better than bottling it all up inside because one day the top may just pop off!

    Thinking of you Julie. Sincerely hope you start to feel a little better very soon. I have found some of your Post most amusing and uplifting, so thank you for that. You are more than welcome to PM me @ any time. My children 3 boys don"t wish to be a part of my maternal family which leaves me feeling much like "piggy-in-the-middle!", trying to please everyone, which trust me is an impossible task!!

    Sending you positive healing energies ((gentle hugs)))

    Lynn XX

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