Some Funnies/Proverbs

No introduction, here they are:

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

King David

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Sasha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.

If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Anonymous

The great question, which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"

Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

Red Skelton

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'

Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.

The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Patrick Murray

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

Nash

You know what I did before I married?

Anything I wanted to.

Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.

Then we met.

Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy : 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

Anonymous

These are not my opinions, they are just things said by other people (that is political speak for its my fault)

12 Replies

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  • I just wanted to say 'GOODBYE' as when the ladies get you - There will be no return for you my friend!

  • Morning I thought these were really good :) Thanks Tetridge xxnot a wife

  • brilliant. thanks for the giggle!!!!!

  • Too true. You'll have heard this one 'Aisle,alter, hymn'.

  • And that was only the mother-in-law

  • I must admit, they made me laugh. Being a dutiful and adoring wife I am not allowed to take offence at any of them, all I can say is that a man is always right even when he is wrong! :p

    How about behind every good man is his wife pushing him.

    or a certain church ethos: The man is the head of the house, but the women is the neck and shoulders telling him which way to turn.

    I personally like that one, as I dutifully allow my husband to head the house, I just run it for him :)

    Hope to hear some funnies later, Susan :)

  • Still living dangerously

  • 90% of quotations on the internet are, in fact, true. Abraham Lincoln

  • These are excellent - copied them to share elsewhere. Thank you!

  • Hi

    These were sent to me from a friend who just so happens to be a female, and full of fun.

    Probably 90% of people on the internet believe that Fenbadger

    On a serious tone don't forget to log out of all your internet sites and change your passwords so you hopefully do not get the Heartbleed virus.

    Take care and kindest regards

    Terry

  • Whats this virus ?

  • Hi Shazzzy

    If you go to Sandra99b (she is a volunteer) and she has a post called:-

    via another HU site :- Internet Security Warning - What HealthUnlocked are doing about a world wide security bug named "Heartbleed"

    This gives a bit of information on the problem.

    Take care and Kindest regards

    Terry

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