Strange sayings

Everything seems so serious of late. We all have problems, and I know that I myself have been particularly beset by a few this last week or two, so in an attempt to lighten the mood, if only for a little while, I thought I'd share the following sayings:-

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times ,

does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why do we say something is out of whack! What's a whack?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, " A penny for your thoughts ", and you put your two cents in, what happens to he other penny ? Or do you get change?

Why is the man ( or woman) who invests all your money, called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a acist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposites?

If lawers are disbarred and clergy defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricans can be delighted, musicians enoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Why isn't 11 pronunced onety one?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest entence?

Do lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair colour do they put on the drivers licence of a bald men?

I was thinking about people who seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, then it dawned on e ...they were cramming for their final exam.

If it is true that we are here to help others ! then what are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

No one ever says , "It's only a game ", when their team is winning!

25 Replies

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  • ......Love it, just what I needed on a pain filled morning..... Very good LOL

    .........Only one thing though..... the second one...... I am half Dutch :D AHHHH so that's why this cup of tea is leaking out one side of me.... ;) hahaaaa..

    Thanks for the giggle Mala, The bald taxi driver made me laugh the most and the bible one.

    Fluffy hugs x

  • Had to think twice about the 'taxi' driver ;) I met a lot of 'Holes' when I spent a summer living and working in Noordwijk - many years ago

  • Yep they can be an acquired taste that's for sure LOL I lived in Enschede, they weren't that bad there :)

    Soz about taxi driver confusion... it was very early this morning and I was in pain... Been watching a series with a bold taxi driver so guess it got stuck in my fibro fog LOL

    De Groetjes

    x

  • V good we need more laughs xx

  • These are great, thank you.

    A good start to a Saturday morning.

    x

  • Thank you good start to Saturday morning xx

  • Love them ... The other thing I wonder.... If the meek shall inherit the earth.... What will I inherit then

    Yours VG the most Definately unmeek :D

  • hell maybe? ith Fibro you are already half way there

  • Excellent!

    I like the cheese that the Holes make - but why hasn't it got any holes in it?

    The meek inherit the earth, you'll inherit the mineral rights, VG! :D

    Moffy x

  • Oh yes I like being a gold digger :)

  • or the sea?

  • Oh the meek, thats good, it's about time they got something. (loose quote from monty pythons life of brian)

  • why should the greek get somehing [monty p]

  • Geeks are sexy :)

  • my budgie has a beak :)

  • how fantast ic! I had a right laugh at these sayings(p.s what medications are you on!!!! I think I might get some!!!! ha-ha lol)

  • Love them, started my weekend with a laugh. Let's have some more !!

  • Medications? I seem to be intolerant of everything. Just gave up Lyrica, and as the doc won't give me anything else, all I have right now is codeine. Perhaps it's making me high? ;)

  • Some good ones there Mal,

    If Welfare reform is about being fair to everyone, why are the reforms not well fair.

  • Like them all and a really good suggestion to add from esa....well done :D

  • my Dad used to joke & call it onety-one, thanks for the laugh and the memory :)

  • Needed a giiggle so thank you

  • love it. re. wise man/wise guy, and out of whack. american? :)

  • Very probably, though I received it from an Australian

  • Thank you so funny just what we all needed bless you x

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