Hi All

This is another thing I have found from somewhere over the years. I have had this so long I do not know who to credit it to. Here they are:-

Actual Air Force Repair Orders (and their responses)

Squarks' are problems noted by US air force pilots and left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by those air force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P) = Problem (S) = Solution

(P) Left inside main tyre almost need replacement.

(S) Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

(P) Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

(S) Auto-land not installed on the aircraft.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.

(S) Something tightened in cockpit.

(P) No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.

(S) No. 2 propeller seepage normal - No. 1, No. 3, and no. 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

(S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.

(S) Volume set to more believable level.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.

(S) Live bugs on order.

(P) Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200fpm decent.

(S) Cannot reproduce problems on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative.

(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

(S) That's what they're there for.

(P) No. 3 engine missing.

(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.

(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, 'fly right, and be serious.

(P) Target Radar hums.

(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with words.

Have a few more to put on so hope you enjoy them they still make me smile whenever I read them, probably because I was a Motor Engineer and we did get similar reports from reception.

Take care and kindest regards


7 Replies

  • Hi

    I've seen this one before but it still makes me laugh I especially like the Aircraft handles funny one.

  • Keep them coming ! thank you again fro brighten up my evening

  • Thanks tettridge

    That was really good and is very much appreciated so thank you for sharing this with us all.

    I also hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today?

    Take care


  • Very good helped raise moral greatly amoungnst friends

  • Very good It reminds me of times gibne by my Husband was a supplier (blanket stacker) good job he cannot hear me say that no he was supply/loggistics. It always made me chuckle like the "three pronged rubber fork /lunatics for the use of.

    cheers xxgins

  • Hehehe, I like these, very funny :) I worked as a receptionist in a garage many moons ago, customers did ask some strange questions and report some odd faults :)

  • hi tetteridge

    my husband & i enjoyed these looking forward to more thanks fo sharing

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