Need help!!

I'm worried about my boyfriend he seems to get tingling all over his body mainly in his arms, legs and neck he seems to be always down. We have a lot of stress due to a commitment. But it seems like he's always ill or down. I think he mite have fibromyalgia but I'm not to sure. I ask him to go to the doctors but he never will. He thinks he going to have a stroke or heart attack but I just think he's over worrying! Can anybody help?? M

13 Replies

  • I get a lot of strange feelings in my arms a and legs but can't et a diagnosis

  • Hi there,it would be extremely difficult to say whether he has fibro as he needs a proper assessment by his g.p and possibly a referral to rheumatology if needed.It may just be all the stress that is causing him to be ill as I know full well myself having suffered prolonged stress for years how ill it can make you.I Beleive that my years of prolonged stress actually triggered off my fibro and in fact it can so maybe you could try suggesting to him just how much you care and worry about him and that maybe it would be in his best interests to get himself checked out by the g.p as you do not want all the stress to make him ill any further.Maybe you could ask him to read the info on this site about fibro symptoms to see if he has any other of the fibro symptoms.Try to be calm when you speak to him and tell him how much you are concerned for him and how much it is worrying you.Men often do not visit their unless they really have to,perhaps you could suggest that if he is worried about having a stroke or heart attack then it would be wise to see his g.p.Good luck and I hope this helps xxx

  • Thank you for your reply, we are buying a black cab and have four months left on paying it off but he say that that the tingling and the aches are making him depressed. I have tried to help him by giving him massages to stop the tingling but unfortunately it's only short term. Talking doesn't help as it turns into big arguments as it's stressful for myself too. He's agreed to go to the doctors, but he has said this before to and not gone. I'm just worried so much I don't know how much more both of us can take. I'm hoping in a strange way that it may have a cause why he like this and something can put a stop to it xxx

  • Hi Myoung93

    I sincerely hope that you and your boyfriend are both feeling as well as you can be today? I have read your post with a great deal of sorrow and pain for what you are both going through, and I can gather from your post that you both love each other very much.

    It really will need a medical diagnosis for Fibromyalgia I am afraid to say, and this in most cases is not an overnight conclusion. I was wondering if your boyfriend experiences any pain anywhere, apart from the tingling? You also said that he always appears to be down, I was wondering do you think that he is depressed or just unhappy? As there is a very fine line between the two, and you did say that you both had commitments?

    I have pasted the FibroAction website link below, and I sincerely hope that you find it very useful.

    I genuinely want to wish you both the best of luck with finding some resolution and relief to the issue.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Hi there Myoung93 :)

    I think it's a difficult predicament you find yourself in if your boyfriend won't go to the doctors about his health. Speaking from personal experience it took me best part of 8 years to get my husband to even register with a doctor and then he didn't like the GP and refused to go. I can appreciate the kind of worry and anxiety that this must be causing you both.

    Ken has given you the link to the FibroAction website it a wealth of information that you will find useful if you think your boyfriend has Fibromyalgia. Use the information for when he goes to the the docs so he is informed about the illness. I suppose it's getting him there, I bribe my OH with a treat like you would with a child sometimes as it's the only way!! :o It's not like that now so much because we have a nicer GP now with a lovely 'bedside manner'.

    With respect to him looking as if his condition looks like it is getting really bad to the point of heart attack it may be a good idea to get in touch with your medical health line number NHS direct or equivalent who will be able to advise you what to do or even send some help :) Or even just go to your nearest A &E where he would be assessed and treated accordingly. :)

    I really do suggest he gets checked out if he's experiencing all over body tingling as it could be anything or nothing and probably treatable.

    This link is to a factsheet regarding fibromyalgia symptoms and how it is diagnosed. I hope it helps you on your quest and wish you luck with getting him to the doctor !!

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • Hiya.... your boyfriend is so lucky to have such a caring and concerned partner as you. :)

    The symptoms you describe could relate to many things, maybe panic attacks due to the stress.

    If you cannot persuade him to go to the doctors, does he have a close friend or family member who you can confide in who he might listen to. Maybe they could persuade him to get it checked out. Maybe you could go to the doctors with him to help support him, or maybe a friend or family member suggests that they go with him.

    Tell him you are so worried about him and it would make you feel better if he got a proper diagnosis. Tell him you will help him deal with whatever the doctor suggests, make him feel that you are there to support him.

    Remember that Stress causes many symptoms.... please let us know how you and your boyfriend get on. Xx

  • Morning

    you sound as if you are both pretty stretched at the moment, buying a black cab is an enormous commitment for you both.

    Does your partner need a medical for insurance purposes to carry passengers? Just a thought you better check!

    His symptoms could e stress of every thing but only one person can answer that.

    You must get him checked at the doctors! Go with him for support.

    Try not to mention it to often or he wont go like my chap who digs his heels in.

    Sian has given excellent advise over A&E if he is convinced e has a heart problem,

    You also need a bit of pampering dont forget to look after your self as well

    Take care


  • Thank you all for your replys it's amazing how supporting this site is with such caring people like yourselves. My boyfriend has now rang his GP and decided to go to doctors, unfortunately his attitude still hasn't changed towards me I try to help him but nothing seems to work he says that he's just stressed and that the tingling in his body is making it worse. He said he gets aches and as soon as he says that I massage him straight away to see if that helps. He has been through a medical for his job last year and nothing came about it he was all healthy. I just hope that we can get through this together as it is so stressful. He is fifteen years older than me so it's a lot to deal with but I love him so I just want to see him better. Is there anything anyone does to ease there tingling or aching?? Anything would help xxx

  • Difficult. We're not qualified practitioners. Only a GP can prescribe. BUT have you tried the obvious over the counter remedies like paracetamol, maybe even solpadeine with or without caffeine. Be really careful as you can overdoes if you take too much of a mix - eg Night nurse and beecham's both contain paracetamol and it's easy to get too much of a good thing. (Yes I know they're cold remedies) GENTLE exercise like tai chi might help.

    We're all different so it might take a while to find a strategy that works. We men hate to admit so called weakness and that might on it's own fire off the argumentative flares - which of course won't help. Stress is destructive on its own.

    Fibro is one of those difficult conditions. hard to detect and diagnose - that's usually a slow process and patience is definitely a help.

    Does the massage help? I hope it does. Even the calming action might be good.

    Best wishes and virtual hugs to you both. And a big YES you need care too. You sound a great partner. Lucky guy :)

  • Thank you for your message he's really funny about taking medication he hates the thought of taking pain killers due to the nature of his job and he says he doesn't like the way it makes him feel. Typical man I think lol. The main thing that I'm concerned about is his mental stability as I don't want him throwing everything away. He's very argumentative over this and maybe I don't understand everything as he always say to me I don't! But I do try to sympathise as much as I can. We used to be big fitness people but unfortunately due to work where struggle to do it anymore and he has put on the weight he had lost previously. But he also says that adds to the problem. It's very confusing I must say, i wonder if the stress of the cab is the sole problem of all this xxx

  • Not necessarily I bet. Fairly typical bloke I'm afraid. Trouble is there can be a vicious circle. One thing leads to another then minor things cause a real blow up. I don't think you can be much more supportive. I wonder if you can manipulate his intake of calories? I agree it will add to the problem.

    Is that cab driving causing the stress? It's not such a daft question. The cab may be simply the trigger and there's underlying things maybe more important. There are things he can take without affecting alertness. If he loses one thing he may turn bad tempered and throw away other things and it's not always easy to remain rational - and boy do I know about that!

    I can't be too specific as I don't have your detailed knowledge so don't put too much emphasis on what I say. Be assured there are loads of lovely people on this site and whatever your concerns we can empathise greatly. :)

  • To be honest I'd say the main problem in this is the cab as we are buying it, it's been a very stressful two years. The black cab we are buying is £20.500 over two and half years and we now only have four months left to pay it off. I have noticed as the time got closer of us paying it off he has become more stressed wich obviously is understandable as it's a weekly payment so it's a lot of money for us to pay. I keep telling him the benefits and better life we will have once it's over, but he seems to just sigh and then complain about his tingling I just feel said he's lost his passion and he's forgetting the big picture. In a strange way I just want a diagnosis so much just so we can get on and teach the end so he can be happy again. I don't want to loose the person he his that person I fell in love with. But these aches and tingles are taking over. It's hurting me to see him like this xxx

  • Yeah. It's as painful watching someone suffer as it is to have the condition yourself. Hurts even more when you don't know the real cause or know you can't do anything. So if we can pin it down to the cab, how about doing a count down to pay off rather than a count up? 4 months is a short time or a long time depending on where you look at it from.

    Stress can have numerous effects and different for different people. The tingling COULD be that.

    Glad he's going to doc. Just hope he doesn't feel pressured. Rational discussion - yes I know that's not easy in an emotionally charged situation. A diagnosis helps loads but it's not always the end of the story. If it is fibro for instance it may take a long time to be really sure (mine was quick at 3 months of tests) and more time to get a treatment that settles.

    How about getting something like a tai chi dvd and do it together. It's not everyone's cup of tea (quiet Ken) but can have a calming effect.

    Maybe that's no good and an energetic work out is what he needs - if only time can be found.

    Realistically you don't need fancy kit. The best gym equipment is your own body - says big fat badger :)

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