My husband finally admitted yesterday that there is no way he will consider me giving up my job to do something home based or far less stressful. He said he will consider me changing jobs if I can find one similar to my current on esp in terms of salary but closer to home.
I had been hoping to change to WFH by retraining to become a reflexologist (i'm halfway through gaining my qualification). For the last year whenever I've mentioned it he has always said wait until... firstly it was wait until he finished his probation in his new job, then it was wait to see if my energy levels improve, then it was see if the new consultant can do something, then it was see if the pain improves, then it was see if my back improves, then more recently see if the pain clinic takes away the pain. So yesterday I confronted him and asked if he really meant it was an option. He said no it's not. He said that he feels I need to keep my earning my salary so that if his job changes or he has to leave for any reason so that we can live off of my salary. I feel absolutley gutted. I feel trapped. I can't leave my current role to find another one of similar money would be impossible at the moment. I can only manage to work four days a week at the moment 2 of those days are worked from home because of the pain. This year alone I've had 27 days off sick due to my fibromyalgia. I also have lots of hospital and doctors appointments. My company have been great and reduced a lot of my role but I know they're at the limits of what they adjustments they can make.
I feel so let down. I've always paid for all of the bills and for everything like food and items we need for the house, decorating etc out of my salary. His wages go into a savings account and we use that for holidays and the bigger things. Although to be honest we never spend from the savings the amount I put into the house over the year. He earns double my salary. I do all of the ironing, food shopping (although these days a friend helps me), we have a cleaner but any tidying I do. I also do all of the ironing, he normally puts the washing on as I can't bend down to put the the washing on etc or lift. I also do the majority of the meal planning and cooking with help from my daughters.
Is it just me? I feel so hurt. He just doesn't seem to understand why I'm hurting from this. He said all he's doing is encouraging me to keep working yet I feel like he's bullying me to stay in a job that has so much stress and almost 3 hours of commute in the car each day, all of which combine to make my fibro worse.
Any advice? At the moment I've told him how much I'm hurting and why and he's said nothing. He's tried to act as if nothings wrong and I've pushed him away telling him I need time to heal as I'm hurt. I'm being civilised to him as I'd like to think that my marriage is for life but I honestly feel like running away. Any advice? He's read all of the advice on the fibro action page in the past but it's made no difference. I can't even talk to any of our friends about it as they are joint friends and I can't talk to my Mum as she's got enough on her plate at the moment and she'd just say leave him she wouldn't even try to suggest a way to work through the problems.
Sorry for the long post I just feel so I don't know where else to turn I feel as if my hope has gone.