Good morning all my fibro friends :)

Just thought I would share with you all that I've finally split up with my boyfriend.Well actually he done it before I was going to say that it's over so he's done the hard bit for me.But the thing that I wasn't happy about was that he went away to work and he said that he would come and see me to discuss things but that never happened so I kept probing him about when we were going to talk and said I was confused as to whether it was over as neither of us had actually said that it was when he said he had already told me it was.Its just a shame that it was done over the phone but he still has clothes and things at mine which I've bagged up and Iam not really looking forward to seeing him as it is sad and upsetting despite the fact that I don't have the same feelings for him anymore.He said that the reason he wanted to end it was that I wasn't the same with him and didn't support him when his mum died of cancer.I said how could I not do that when I hardly saw him but I was distant from him though as I stopped really loving him a year ago and there were things that I didn't like about him as well plus he didn't support me with my illness.So really it's best that we ended and although I feel frightened to be on my own I do feel a relief cos now I don't have to pretend any more and I can concentrate on trying to get better and my kids.I would like to say thank you to all my friends on here who have given me advice and support about my relationship and the difficulties I've experienced :) The next step now is finding a decent g.p who can help me :O I've also came up with what I think is a brill idea around the moving thing.Now that I've split up with my boyfriend I definitely won't be able to afford a 3 bed house to rent as he was going to help me financially and the main reason for moving was to give my two boys a room of their own so Iam going to move my youngest boys stuff in my room and do it all nice like it's his room but still keep my double bed in there and then my 11 year old can have a room of his own.It will work cos my 5 year old sleeps in my bed anyhow and Iam not bothered about having my own room as I would rather they be happy.It will work for now,and I've thought that maybe I will just look for a larger two bed place which will give us more space cos then it won't be more expensive to rent.Plus this will give me a little project to do when I can,bit by bit.Its not ideal but the next best thing and although I hate the small bungalow I live in Iam going to make it nicer bit by bit by making each room look as nice as it can.Alot to do but there is no rush though and Iam sure that it will make me feel better.Physically Iam feeling crap still,had a little bit of relief Saturday and even managed a long wa

K round the block with my son on his scooter which was lovely but symptoms are back with a vengeance again,migraine,pain in back,ribs,tiredness,nausea etc..Hope everyone is relatively o.k and not suffering too much xxx

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  • Yay yay yay haribo ..........I'm so so proud of you !! I've know how unhappy you've been with the situation for quite some time and now, I understand how hard it will be for you to see him when he comes to pick his stuff up, but you are stronger than you think and I will be sending huge amounts of positive vibes your way to help, let us know when it's happening !

    You have clearly given much thought to your housing situation and I give you huge plaudits for that, it takes courage to accept the need for change and you have. Is there any possibility you could get on either the council housing list or a housing association one ? I'm just thinking a little further ahead, having your lovely son sleep with you now is fine, but in a few years it may not be quite so easy, and as it always takes ages for the council etc to come up with anything it could be good to get on the list now and not later.

    I'm so sorry you are feeling rubbish, but I think that is probably made worse by what you've just been through, stress always makes everything so much worse. I am sending huge amounts if healing positive vibes your way now and I am just so pleased that you can draw a line under this stage of your life and move forward, as I said at the beginning I am so proud of you for carrying it through.

    Well done haribo :-) :-) !!

    Foggy x

  • Hey Haribo,

    This is a great plan! It sounds like it will really work and for now at least that's all that matters. It sounds like you've been waiting for the bf to go so you can start living again. Look at all the ideas and positivity you've already come up with :)

    Soon you will feel liberated from him, not scared and not being able to rely on him for money should help your self esteem.

    Well done for being brave and taking charge of your life. This is the start of your new life Haribo....it's exciting and you are making it happen.

    Xoxoxo

  • Thank you so much foggy and zosie! Regarding the council house list thing,I don't like the look of the council places where I live and the area is well known for not being nice so Iam not going down that route.The plan I have will be o.k for a couple of years but Iam hoping that at some point I can do a little bit of light work a week which will then enable me to be able to afford a 3 bed place to rent.If I can't work then I will have to stick to a larger 2 bed place and maybe a sofa bed in the living room.Not fantastic but my kids are the most important thing to me and I don't mind sacroficing a room as long as it's a very comfortable sofa bed.But who knows what the future brings! Xxx

  • I understand completely haribo about the council thing, I just mentioned it as a possibility but as you know they aren't nice around you then don't do it. You really have thought this through so well, as I said earlier, I'm so proud of you, making life changing decisions is never easy and even more difficult when you are struggling with the amount of pain etc., at the moment.

    Foggy x

  • WooHoo, good for you :-). You sound so much more positve now and I am so pleased to hear it. Time for you to make a happier life for you and your children . I like the plans you are making for your home as well. You can take your time getting it sorted but I think you will be far happier with this than unhappy in a three bedroomed place with someone you no longer loved. Onwards and upwards for you now Haribo.

    Hugs

    Jillyxx

  • Thanks jillylin,I was feeling more positive but today the depression is ever looming.Ive got my appointment with mental health doc coming up soon so will ask about changing antidepressant to see if it helps xxx

  • Hopefully it will help you. It took a few goes to get one that really worked for me but when it did, everything improved enormously.

    Hugs

    Jillyxx

  • Hey Jillylin, how are you?

  • Hi Zosie, not one of my better days but thanks for asking. Hope you are doing better.

    Hugs

    Jillyxx

  • I've noticed that you support a lot of people on here but stay quiet about yourself. Which is cool, I just wanted to check you were okay :) I am starting to feel better. Thank you xoxo

  • I am pleased to hear you are feeling better, keep getting better ! :-)

    I am having a rough time right now but everyone else has worse problems than me.

    Hugs

    Jillyxx

  • Hey Jillylin, that's not true. Your problems are just as important and valid as everyone else's. If you need a friendly ear, you are welcome to pm me xoxo

  • You are very sweet and very kind.

    Hugs

    Jillyxx

  • Hi Haribo

    It really sounds as if you are on the way up - well done, proud of you.

    You can get some housing association homes in new areas, not sure how you would go about it but might be worth a try for you?

    Keep up the good work.

    Is x

  • Thank you so much.I feel a bit of a fraud now as Iam still sitting ere in bed clothes and haven't even brushed my teeth yet :( Iam catching up on all the posts from the weekend xxx

  • Hey H thats fantastic and I'm sooooooooooooo proud of you too my friend. you already sound much more positive :D

    Your plan sounds excellent and realistic and I'm sure the eldest boy will love his own space he can bring his friends to.

    Don't overdo it in the excitement tho remember step by step little by little so as to manage your health and keep the balance.

    Big love and hugs to you and the boys from me H

    Oh! and many giggling fluffies to give you some light entertainment before you relax and take a well deserved breather :D :D :D

    :D xxxzebxxx :D oh! and the healing and warming fluffies too of course!!! xxx

  • Don't worry,there's not much hope of me overdoing it as a snail has more pace than me,hehe :D Thanks for the fluffies,Iam going to have to expand my petting zoo now as it's bursting with fluffies :D

  • Hi Haribo

    Well done! its not an easy thing to do, so be very proud of yourself. your boys are lucky to have a Mummy like you, Take it easy and it will all come together. When your ex come round for his stuff could you have a friend with you? I know what you mean, even though you don't want to be with him, its still upsetting. you seem to have a good plan re the boys rooms, it will take your mind of things, and you will be much stronger person in the end.

    Good luck

    Hugs xx

    Mazz

  • Thanks Mazz so much :) Iam sure that I will be o.k when he comes round.Think it will be best when my boys r not there.I have only told my eldest for now.My 5 year old might get upset as he did more things with him but haven't told him yet xxx

  • Whew.....I am so glad for you...Now please don't look back. =)

    I'm proud of you for sticking to your plan..I agree for you to slow down

    and take some big deep breaths.. give it a little time before you leave your

    home..to a new one..but I love the idea..new place, new start with the new you..

    =)) xxx Karen

  • Thank you Karen,how's it up your end?what are you up to today?xxx

  • I'm working on this snowy sleet, rainy day..it's really dark outside and so cold..winds are whipping ...not fun outside.. =/ As for me, I am

    almost finished with the chicken soup...It's cooling so I can bring it to

    my sick family members..=) and eat some myself. It's 10am over here.

  • Hi haribo, I am soo proud of you & soo pleased for you! You haven't been in such a good frame of mind for a while now & it is soo good to hear you talking so positively about the future. Big Hugs & Love to you & your sons. I am sure that this is the first step to a brighter future, which can only get better now. I'm sorry that you have had to split with your boyfriend, but you knew he wasn't right for you, & the stress of trying to keep it together must have been a huge drain on you, & now it's over, you can start the healing now. It's just the getting rid of his stuff to get thru' & then you can start putting him behind you & start building on the future for you & your sons. What a lovely mum you are to your boys - but then, that's what us mums do isn't it - put the kids first? I hope that your relationship with them will improve now too.

    So, well done on the plans, but take it steady - don't rush it. Good luck with the home & job front,

    Lots of Love, Best Wishes & Great Big, Gentle, Hugs,

    Julie xxx

  • Thank you Julie,I can concentrate on improving my health now as it's been aweful.I don't think that realistically I will be able to work but who knows!Theres no harm of me ever overdoing it as I said to zeb,a snail is faster than me :D Just gotta try to improve my symptoms and motivate myself to even get washed and dressed which is a big hurdle ATM.Sounds silly but it's so bloody hard :(

  • It's not silly, haribo, I know how you feel - been there, got the T-shirt. and I've sat around in my t shirt & dressing gown myself, so I know how you feel! ;-) Take it one step at a time, & then one day you'll realise just how far you've come. There are still days when I can't get myself to wash my hair, but I'm getting out & about more often than I used to, make the most of the good days, then lay back & chill when you need to.

    Julie xxx

  • Thanks Julie :)

  • Hi Haribo, I hope u don't mind me adding to this thread. Don't know what, if any benefits you are on, but I know a friend was able to claim income support when her partner left, which may give u some support whilst you sort out a new place - maybe worth looking into?

    This must be so hard, but u sound like a very strong person and I'm sure in the end u and your boys will be much happier.

    Hang in there and gentle hugs x

  • I already get it as we were not living together.But thanks anyways,and thanks for the hugs :)

  • Well done.

  • Thank you shazzy :)

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