Summer Fayre today.....

It's that time of year again .... The forum Summer fayre.... All are welcome ... Bring a cake to enter the cake competition ... Bring your pet to star in the pet show do you have a talking bird an extremely clever cat the cutest dog .... Have a go on the stalls.... Do you want to run a stall ... Volunteers needed.... Moffy has been banned from running the coconut shy as last year she stripped off and used the coconuts to make a bra..... Do you have a talent for entertaining.... I would run the tombola again but last year I forgot to put any winning tickets in so I have been assigned the book stall ... If anyone has 50 shades of grey to donate I can read that while manning the stall

[ladymoth]

I've got all three episodes of '50 Shades of Grey' to donate, plus 20 back numbers of 'Scarlett Women', so you won't be bored while looking after the book stall.

I hope you realise that '50 Shades' is not a Dulux publication, and 'Scarlett Women' is not by Louisa May Alcott, so maybe you'd better sit down with your smelling salts before you start reading!

I've brought next door's dog for the pet show - just hope they don't find out I have also made a lovely Victoria Sandwich for the cake competition. Foggy's entry looked better than mine, so I've eaten it

I'll run a stall if you like - the bottle stall is my favourite!

Moffy x

[Hidden]

As long as you don't open the alcoholic ones and water them down like you did at the church bring and buy ..... You ATE Foggys cake ... And didnt give me any ..... Pfftt

Opens a back issue of Scarlett woman ... Turns scarlet and slumps under the stall .... Still reading avidly

[Ginsing]

Oh was yours the Victoria sponge it did look good sad to say my dog just ran of with it (he he Has any body seen Judy? where? I cannot see her where did you say? I am very good at scathing Punch and Judy. I will put an adult show on after 6 and junior before the watershed.

By the Bye my cake is 5in high and full of homemade strawberry Jam and clotted cream! Ist place I think xgins

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Ginsing]

Methinks my 8 inch high, light as air, filled with homemade wild strawberry jam and a Swiss meringue vanilla cream........... Beat that !!!

Foggy, the competitive x

[ladymoth]

Gobble, gobble, slurp, crunch - burp! Oh dear, Gins - did you day that was your entry for the cake competition? I'm sure it would have won 1st prize if i hadn't scoffed it! Brushes off crumbs.

Moffy x

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to ladymoth]

And how is the waistline today Moffy ? Hope you're wearing expandable waistline trousies

Foggy x

[ladymoth in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

Had to give up trousers and wear a sarong - all my clothesies have shrunked!

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to ladymoth]

Clearly you have had an infestation of calories in your wardrobe, they sneak in and take in your clothes overnight...........

[Hidden in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

I knew it...... Thank you foggy after the fayre I will go and order some calorie repellant ... If you spray it on cakes does it take the calories out???????

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Hidden]

Nope, they're like little ants with backpacks on and they are very repellent resistive......just keep taking in clothes all over the places.....we should find something like moth balls to keep them out of our wardrobes, but I doubt it will work alas

[hamble99b]

I've made coconut tarts and want to be in charge of the "hook a duck" stall

sandra.

ps anyone know where I can get some ducks?

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to hamble99b]

Will dash (hahaha) down to my broom and gather some up for you, ......ooooppps sorry, no..... I'll borrow then from the village mafia, we have a duck race e dry year, so we have masses >>>>>>> goes off in search of mafia

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

Whoops meant brook, but maybe broom is more appropriate

[ladymoth]

They've got a lot in Sainsbury's but they don't look very lively!

Moffy x

[Ginsing]

Spring watch have ducklings if they have hatched I have brought replacement cake in dont tell Moffy she eats lots of cakes.

I loved your tarts Sandra scrumy an I don't like coconuts. Just heard on the tannoy pony rides to start in five mins and ten races with snails sounds brilliant I have brought Herbert and some milk - thats the trick you know xgins

[hamble99b in reply to Ginsing]

oops! I meant coconut doggy tarts to sell on the pet stall - coconut & winalot tarts

I hope nobody tries them

[Hidden]

Smiles sneakily and enters sammy the skateboarding snail in the snail race .....

Who is the tart in charge of the coconuts ?????

San can you manage hook a gnome .... Our local cheap shop had them in bulk they are very light ... Just don't use the one mooning

Gins I await your after the watershed a Punch and Judy with great delight ...

Yours on second back edition of Scarlett woman and refusing to sell any

VG x

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Hidden]

You still on your gnome trip VG ? Hehehe

[Hidden in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

Shhh don't tell everyone I get stoned by smoking Gnomes

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Hidden]

Far out VG

[Fibrofoggiest]

Can I do ferret racing and judge the terrier show ...... Completely unbiased of course

Foggy x

[Hidden in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

Can you run as fast as a ferret..... They are pretty quick you know ... I don't want you in tears if you finish last ... Goes to hunt for a VERY large pipe for foggy to run down....

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Hidden]

Excuse me.......VERY large pipe ????......I'll have you know I'm like a racing snake.... Hurumphhhh

[Hidden in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

Racing snakes hisss ....I know I have one ... He looks so cute with his little saddle

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Hidden]

Hhhhhhiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[Fibrofoggiest]

Brings in stacks of carrot cakes, scones, meringues, chocolate eclairs and the gooiest chocolate cake ounce ever seen

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

>>>>thinks clearly her fingers are not working properly today <<<<<<<<

[hamble99b]

apparently, after herding all my ducks into a pen, the rspcducks says I have to use plastic ones.

who's running the bar-b-q ?

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to hamble99b]

Methinks thee and RSPCduck person standing by the barbecue ..........eeek

[Hidden]

Hands San a large supply of gnomes .... You can use these ... But I need them back after ...for purposes I cannot reveal

I saw a large sheep walking past wearing an apron and carrying. A load of beef burgers so I guess she is running the bahhhh b que..... Makes awful joke and slides back under the book stall with issue 3 of Scarlett woman .... I mustn't let these get into the hands of other members ... I think these are moffies diaries ..... Tut tut ..... Carries on reading avidly

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Hidden]

Watch out for those gnomes San.........VG is N T B T..........

[Fibrofoggiest]

I saw a horse following closely behind the sheep.......wonder what all that's about

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

Aww the poor horse is crying and looking longingly at the "beef burgers"

[hamble99b in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

is he crying "mama"?

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to hamble99b]

Methinks he is poor thing.

[Fibrofoggiest]

Meanwhile in the dog show corner, Foggy is polishing up her terriers >>>>>>>>> puts on Pledge and wonders why said terrier had run off squawking .........

[hamble99b]

don't want to worry you vg - but moffy's gone off hunting for hosepipe!

she's chuckling and saying " it will be just like the advert..."

[ladymoth]

Well, I can't stand by and watch VG barbecuing those poor gnomes, not to mention the ducks!

Whoops! I just fell over a highly polished terrier - who put him there?

[Hidden in reply to ladymoth]

Wanders past eating roast duck looking innocent

[Ginsing in reply to Hidden]

I love crispy duck hmmmmm xgins

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to ladymoth]

He is a she and she's hiding, whoops sorry Moffy :-0

[Hidden]

Panics fibro. Fog hits.... What advert has a hosepipe in it.... I can only think of the cartoon firemen who put out heartburn and indigestion ... Makes a tent out of back issues of Scarlett woman and hies in it while reading volume 4

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Hidden]

No no no VG, it's the one I reminded you of round the time of the Chelsea Flower Show, which anhialates all gnone gnomes hahahaha

[Hidden]

Stands up and announces to the forum .... I LOVE GNOMES .....

the. Goes back to her stack of Scarlett woman volume 5 .... Ohhh this has the script for the. Film moffy and the leprechaun .........

[Ginsing]

Gnomes well I hate them and they should all go where they came from (I tend to smash gnomes) smirks xgins

[hamble99b in reply to Ginsing]

I'll call the national elf service!

[ladymoth]

A home is not a home without a Gnome! If you won't make space for one, they have to go to Gnome man's land - very sad not to have gnome to go to!

Someone turn the hose on VG - she's getting overheated reading all those suggestive magazines!

[Hidden]

Hides under plastic bags with volume no 6 and a large supply of gnomes hidden from gins and moffy

[Fibrofoggiest]

Sneaks back into the forum and hides in a corner laughing at the chaos gnome-gate is causing. Hahahahaha .......in a Mutley like fashion behind her hand

[Hidden]

Sends foggy off to .... Catch that pigeon ......

[Fibrofoggiest]

Sings >>>>>> catch that pigeon, catch that pigeon, catch that pigeon now !! Tra lalala >>>>

Ccatches said pigeon and pops him on the barbecue

[Hidden]

I hope it's dead and plucked

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

There's an answer to that, but I'll leave it to you fanaaa fanaaa!

[hamble99b]

I asked my clever little talking girl budgie and she said she'll give the competition a miss thank you as we all seem a bit unhinged!

[Fibrofoggiest]

Just as well San, VG may end up putting the budgie on the barbe.... Eeek -o

[Sthandra]

Barbecue bugie hmmm wonder what that tastes like