Never give up hope - my story - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

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Never give up hope - my story


Relationships. Sometimes they suck, to use and americanism. I got married the first time on 1973. Then after some ups and downs we split up in 1987, mailny because he had an affair with my best friend. I didnt know at the time which hurt me more, the betrayal by him or the friend. Took me a long time to trust another woman enough to be close friends.

At the time he left we part owned our house with the local council and were just about to be sued for arrears. I managed to get that put on hold. I had three children, twins of four and a ten yr old. Also I was childminding a baby. All four of them came down with chicken pox three weeks after he left so there was I trying to deal with tour itchy, irrascible children, the council, the bank manager( cry down the phone at bank managers, it makes them melt) and social security.

Things settled into some sort of routine.Living in a village it was quite difficult to manage without a car and having a limited bus service but we did manage and make quite a happy life really. Lots of supportive neighbours and I belonged to the church and other organisations in the village.

After about two years I was getting a little lonely so I answered an ad in the local paper. It was in there for two weeks and I answered on the second. It was before there were pages of the things, just a few then.

The ad read

"Craftsman, 36, seeks woman to share life and other bits."

Mine was the only letter he recieved and after a long telephone conversation we decided to meet . The day in question I had been on a 13 mile walk with my daughter and her friend and got in completely knackered, bathed and went for a sleep. This was in the days before all the warnings about meeting in public places and he sounded nice so I gave him my address to pick me up.

I was woken at 7pm by the girls shouting "It's a hippy Mum."

Well, a battered old Bedford van, pony tail, beads, an indian t shirt, combat trousers and desert boots. Nice looking. We went to the pub and talked for hours.

After that we met a few times and went a way in the van camping for a weekend. My ex looked after the kids at our house. When Bob arrived to collect me he had with him a big black dog. Dog chased my cat upstairs and cat went out the window onto the roof. Ex said just go. When we came back cat was still on roof. Kids had been throwing pilchards up to it wo there were fish marks all over the barge boards.

Well, a year later Bob and I got married and a year after that had our lovely daughter Rohan. So not only did he take on my kids and we had another one , we also started a business, he was a wood turner at the time and then after a while we started a doll's house furniture making business.

Since then we have moved,the kids have grown up and Bob is now a very exerienced counseller having started college at the age of 44 to get his qualifications.

I continued to do nanny/ housekeeper jobs but have now retired from that due to the fibro.

Bob is an am dram director and I always stage manage/do props/publicity ect. Unfortunately due to the fibro I am having to find someone to do the stage managing for the next play wich is The Killing of Sister George in september. I will still potter round and get the props and help work out the set, take some rehearsals and do the publicity though.

We have had our swings and roundabouts over the years but I was determined that this marriage woudl not go the same way as before and I am glad we hung in there. xxx

11 Replies

what a lovely insperational story x

I love inspiring stories.



Awhhhh! who said romance was dead? I'm not inspired - just jealous! :)

Awww that's lovely xx


That's one of the best things I've heard in along time :) So nice to hear a positive. What happened to the dog and cat? Did they learn to get along? :) xx


all dogs have to learn cats rule dogs

stay happy sochuffed there is such a thing as a loving relationship p

I guess the dog was not as laid back as his hippy master, I do hope the cat and dog got on in the end. :)

I'm so glad you manged to find love again. I truly am. And I hope it continues as it all started :)

Aww Spidy that's ace,,, so nice to hear a true story like this,,, x

Similar tale to mine spidy,

I had a child aged 17, too young really, but everyone entitled to ONE mistake, not that I look on it as a mistake now, at the time it sucked all the school chums going out enjoying themselves me stuck in with a wailing baby, made for resentment. Married in 1976 had two more kids, then found out hubby was moonlighting (whilst I was pregnant) with an ex of his, so walked out went to grans kids bag and baggage. Gramp insisted regardless of the kids I had to have at least one night a week break, so went to local with my dad and stepmom, felt safer that way. Met my hubby, new of him before but not personally. Started just walking me home, then the closeness came. been together 30years, married for 26. He took me on with 3 kids has none of his own but regards my 3 as his own especially my daughter who was still only 15months old when we got together. Old hubs disappeared of the radar (never claimed child support). Now Dave is my partner best friend and my rock when things get stormy, never more so as when my middle son died of sudden adult death syndrome aged 23. I sort of went crazy, wouldn't/couldn't stay in my home too many memories bad downward spiral into depression close call with the booze, and through it all although hurting himself, my Dave. Many men would have walked away at some of things I did and indeed said.

Now we both have ill health and support each other, he has restricted mobility along with many other problems. Me with the dreaded fibro which on reading various post about stress being a cause believe the onset started with the deaths of my father and my son in less than 6 months of one another. I know though that what ever life now throws at me I will never be on the journey alone.

So regardless of the thoughts of some women who see men as all one click and out of the same mould. there are some national treasures and unsung heroes out there.

Hey gailmarie. and all others who have commented. Thanks. Gail your hyb sounds like mine, Taking on three kids is a huge commitment. glad it worked out for you too.

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