Relationships. Sometimes they suck, to use and americanism. I got married the first time on 1973. Then after some ups and downs we split up in 1987, mailny because he had an affair with my best friend. I didnt know at the time which hurt me more, the betrayal by him or the friend. Took me a long time to trust another woman enough to be close friends.
At the time he left we part owned our house with the local council and were just about to be sued for arrears. I managed to get that put on hold. I had three children, twins of four and a ten yr old. Also I was childminding a baby. All four of them came down with chicken pox three weeks after he left so there was I trying to deal with tour itchy, irrascible children, the council, the bank manager( cry down the phone at bank managers, it makes them melt) and social security.
Things settled into some sort of routine.Living in a village it was quite difficult to manage without a car and having a limited bus service but we did manage and make quite a happy life really. Lots of supportive neighbours and I belonged to the church and other organisations in the village.
After about two years I was getting a little lonely so I answered an ad in the local paper. It was in there for two weeks and I answered on the second. It was before there were pages of the things, just a few then.
The ad read
"Craftsman, 36, seeks woman to share life and other bits."
Mine was the only letter he recieved and after a long telephone conversation we decided to meet . The day in question I had been on a 13 mile walk with my daughter and her friend and got in completely knackered, bathed and went for a sleep. This was in the days before all the warnings about meeting in public places and he sounded nice so I gave him my address to pick me up.
I was woken at 7pm by the girls shouting "It's a hippy Mum."
Well, a battered old Bedford van, pony tail, beads, an indian t shirt, combat trousers and desert boots. Nice looking. We went to the pub and talked for hours.
After that we met a few times and went a way in the van camping for a weekend. My ex looked after the kids at our house. When Bob arrived to collect me he had with him a big black dog. Dog chased my cat upstairs and cat went out the window onto the roof. Ex said just go. When we came back cat was still on roof. Kids had been throwing pilchards up to it wo there were fish marks all over the barge boards.
Well, a year later Bob and I got married and a year after that had our lovely daughter Rohan. So not only did he take on my kids and we had another one , we also started a business, he was a wood turner at the time and then after a while we started a doll's house furniture making business.
Since then we have moved,the kids have grown up and Bob is now a very exerienced counseller having started college at the age of 44 to get his qualifications.
I continued to do nanny/ housekeeper jobs but have now retired from that due to the fibro.
Bob is an am dram director and I always stage manage/do props/publicity ect. Unfortunately due to the fibro I am having to find someone to do the stage managing for the next play wich is The Killing of Sister George in september. I will still potter round and get the props and help work out the set, take some rehearsals and do the publicity though.
We have had our swings and roundabouts over the years but I was determined that this marriage woudl not go the same way as before and I am glad we hung in there. xxx