update on my day in anyone wants to read..

firstly has many of you know despite the heartache im going through with losing my kids ,im now coming to terms with things more after going to a woman's unit and asking for help...

im ready to move forward and please don't think ive forgotten my kids as i havent,,

my partner took me to my first ever ever wedding fayre today before my hospital appointment to cheer me up and take my mind off things..

firstly we got to this posh hotel and i made an effort make up,wedges,nice top..we were greeted by a lovely lady of Facebook who said to me its nice to see you out of yre joggers,,shes seen my pics on there with this illness.then there was a string quartet playing it made me well up and get tearful,

we filled in some raffle forms one was for a honey moon to Mauritius Holidays,second was a bottle of pink champagne,and there was loads...

it was very romantic we have set a date depending on money,and my best mate coming out of the army next year after serving 30 years to give me away in full military honor.

we have picked the colors we want,we had tastes of cakes etc yum yum.

then we sat and watched the bridal cat walk who did we see but becky of big brother 2012.im a avid big brother fan..

didn't like her on there but she was beautiful in real life and i shouldn't judge a book by its cover..

me and jay had our pics taken in a funny photo booth and we dressed up it took it more crazy than he...

then went to hospital to see neurosurgeon and he took me straight inside the room no queues no waiting wow..

the nurses was great with us..he told me one m r i scan i had done in 2008 is normal but the other one is showing sings of epilepsy or something else..

so im having another m r i scan done again last one i had a fit under whilst going through it..and another e c g..

he thinks there is signs of epilepsy having been there but not significant enough then but im having more fits now..

i was told i had m s last time cause of the lesions on my brain..

im trying to stay hopeful and just want a diagnosis and im alive thats the main thing...

the car crash i had also took some damage to my brain has it was a 5 car one i was in...

ive had a really good day and have the best and most amazing partner ever,my family dont want me,my kids maybe one day,,,but im looking to next year now and becoming mrs evans..

who said marrying once was enough no coz ive found my true love and been given a second chance this time round.

so my illness wont beat me,nor will my ex,nor will atos...im becoming stronger every day...

[Hidden]

Good for you, your positive attitude is coming through loud and clear.

You have been through the wringer more than once sweetie, sounds like you've found yourself a lovely caring man.

I know lots has been going on, I pray you have the strength to 'not look back', but to the future you have ahead of you

You go girl

loads of squidgy hugs.

xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

thanks im trying not to battle with the guilt i feel alot of time and just concentrate on getting my head clear,it helped at the womans unit has im one of the lucky ones theres alot of woman who dont come through it okay.

im also considering offering my free services and donating clothes etc to this charity has the woman really do need lots of help understand and safety right now and in future..

he is amazing and im really in love and never like before..sorry if u need bucket..hes treats me like a princess..and i do deserve some happiness after everything...xx

[hamble99b]

you do my heart good. I know you want to help the unit, but keep some time & energy for your lovely bloke and relationship.

regards,

sandra.

[Hidden in reply to hamble99b]

i do all the time and we are true lovers,we have always been meaning to meet in our life.we are madly in love and support each other through thick and thin..

ive waited my whole life for him to come along...xx

[hamble99b]

fantastic, I'm still waiting [there's a song there].

If you look at my recent blogs, there's another lifelong romance.

regards,

sandra

[Hidden]

Awww Sammy38 I don't need a bucket I need a box of tissues. That is amazing. I don't know your story about your children, but it must have been awful. I am so impressed of how strong you are considering your illnesses and troubles. I would be in blubbering wreck in the corner.

Congratulations to you both.

Take care and don't over do it.

Well done.

Hugs xxxxxxx

[Hidden]

So pleased that your day turned out well for you. Your man sounds very special indeed!

Stay strong and take care. Jane x

[Hidden]

Sammy wow I can feel the positivity coming through your message! Well done you! You have been through so much lately and you've come back fighting!

I hope everything works out well for you, I am so pleased you had a good time at the wedding fayre, your partner sounds so thoughtful!

Wishing you all the best for your future together, for your scan results etc., take care!

[julieevh]

Sammy - I can feel the pure joy in your heart from this post - congratulations on your forthcoming wedding, you had to kiss a few frogs before you found your prince I guess

((((( gentle hugs )))))

Julie xx

[Hidden]

Thanks july 7 th 2013 is the date.summer wedding.im over the moon.will be intimate and romantic.red is main colour.and yes ive been through many a frog to get my prince charming.and waited a long time.

A clairvoyant said we would meet.hes everything and more to me.hes identical to me unique,gooky,fun.xx.

P.s very very romantic too.my ring is gorgeous.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That's so sweet Sammy! Very happy for you! Please post a pic of your ring so us girlies can see it! I understand if you can't.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

ill get fella to post it later.its not a enormous expensive bling bling but i have ting fingers and i love it.he went to alot of trouble to pick it and get it sized for my tiny hands bless him.

i got him a beautiful titanium engagement ring and then i proposed to him at his mom and dads in wales and hes allergic to it.doh...x

[JoJo32]

HI Sammy, I am so glad that you had a lovely day at the wedding fayre. I have to say that this post is so lovely and it feels as if you are in a good place at the minute and keeping your chin up. I really hope that your next MRI scan doesnt show any more signs of epilepsy or that the ms hasnt progressed any.

Your wedding colour sounds lovely with red as the main colour and really glad that you have set a date.

Take Care

Jo xx

[lynnh]

Oh Sammy you are sounding so much brighter and more positive, it is lovely to hear. Hopefully planning your wedding will help take your mind off of the other issues. It sound like you have the right neurosurgeon and this time you will get some answers, at least if you know what you are up against it makes the fight a little easier xx

[Ozzygirl64]

I just love your postive attitude and I would never suggest you have forgotten your kids. But you had a wonderful day with a wonderful partner and he did all that for you. That says so much in my book. One day your kids will be old enough to make their own minds up. You have been on such a roller coaster with your health too. And sometimes we just need to be taken away from ourselves for a while. It does do us good. I wish you well in all you do xxxxx Lin

[FionaP]

How lovely to hear about your day. You have a great positive attitude. Prayers that you are blessed with a great future. Much love xx