It's a negative :(

[luthien]

Hey so had my OTD on Wednesday, we'd planned in advance for any outcome so we took Wednesday and Thursday off just to deal with whatever comes and have time to ourselves.

OTD was 11dp5dt, clear negative, we're both really upset. Our clinic lets us report results through their portal so we don't need to call and talk to anyone which is nice. Tested again Thursday (clinic says to test twice), also negative (but we knew that by then).

Our clinic has a counselling session so we've booked that in. Feeling mixed emotions as I kind of feel like why would my body do anything different, I mean we've been trying for years. I feel upset that it didn't work as that was ours. Feel like perhaps I could have done something different to help it stick or maybe I did something wrong. I need to try and remember it's our first cycle. It's all so difficult, I thought I'd be more emotionally prepared, I mean I wasn't stressed or worried, until the test day, now I just feel exhausted both mentally and physically.

I've stopped my progesterone pessary - last one yesterday morning, as advised by the clinic. They're going to have the specialist take a look at our notes and will arrange a follow up to see what's next.

I was on a long protocol sniffy thing twice a day (ended up being super long as my body just did it's normal stuff), then on injections once a day (stims), then 3 times a day vaginal pessaries. The nurse at the clinic called us yesterday asked how everything went and how we're feeling. She was really nice and said that they can always modify the medication an as we're self funded we can choose what we'd prefer when it's being discussed. She said they probably put me on the short protocol next time, and adjust to get more eggs (3 retrieved with two fertilised and one suitable at day 5).

All my weird symptoms which could be hormone related stopped completely at two days before testing, with brown spotting the day before and cramping so I felt like my body was trying to have a period. Now after stopping the pessaries it's all gone quiet again. Any idea when I should expect my period? Will it be heavier? More painful?

Any suggestions for what we could look into supplement wise?

Anything we could ask the specialist when we have our appointment?

If you had a counselling appointment what did they talk about?

We have really no idea what to say or ask at the moment as we're still in a state of shock, which feels weird because we were prepared for a negative, or we thought we were, maybe it's the hoping and all the detox starting.

Thank you all for your support x

[Hidden]

So sorry it didn't work. Its little compensation but round one doesn't often work - its really a testing round where your clinic and you are working out what works and what doesn't.

My first round I was on long protocol and got 3 eggs and 2 fertilised like you - BFN. My second round I was on short and I got 13 eggs, 9 fertilised and a BFP. So it can make a huge difference

Take some time to have a good cry and give yourself some TLC and then focus on the new start next time. Counselling is an opportunity for you to share how you feel and just outpour your emotions

Huge hug xx

[Capps8]

I’m so sorry it didn’t work. Take the counselling and cry when you need to. It’s an absolute emotional rollercoaster and you’re pumped full of hormones don’t forget. Just remember there is absolutely nothing you did or could have done differently. It simply did not implant because the embryo was not right. It’s hard not to blame yourself but this is the truth. Be easy on yourself x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi luthien. So sorry this has not worked this time. I'm sure you did everything you were instructed to do, so be easy on yourself. Good you have booked to go to the counselling session, which should help you to say how you are feeling just now. Thinking of you. Diane

[Lamagarden]

Hello, I’m sorry for your BFN. We had the same experience about 2 weeks ago and hit us hard! Had not been expecting to feel so devastated. Had our appointment with our consultant yesterday and feeling SO much better and more positive and hopeful. We will go again, it was our first round. We didn’t quite know the rollercoaster we were entering. Wishing u and everyone all the luck in the world! Xx

[Char2383]

I’m so so sorry lovely, it’s amazing how we all have the same design of uterus but one protocol will work well for one and not the other! IVF really is a lot of trial and error unfortunately, even the experts don’t know what will work the best for us without testing the water. It’s us that have to bear it, it’s such a long process but will be worth it in the end..

Things will get easier and I’m a big advocate for counselling. Be so so kind to yourself over the next few weeks, let your hair down at Christmas and enter into the new year with new strength. You’ll get there sending lots of love xxx