16 years ago I had my third and last ectopic pregnancy. I didnt know that I was pregnant and wope up in the worst pain you could ever imagine. I lost a lot of blood and was short of losing my life.
Back then I was 24 and the day after the emerency surgery I was told that I had lost my second fallopian tube. I was devastated & felt only half a woman however I was grateful for life as I had a 7 year old daughter at the time. It took me a while to get over this and I said to myself that one day I will try via IVF... many years have gone by / a divorce / a relocation ( germany to britain ) / and also marriage and here I am now.
We have just finished our first trial of IVF in Istanbul / all went well. As from a couple of previous post already mentioned we have two blastos transfered and we have two good quality frosties.
I didnt find the stimulation time too hard but I am really struggling now. Today I am 9DP5DT and awaiting my first Beta HCG result however last night I moved really strange and I hurt my right ovary. Today I was in a lot of discomford and all my terrible memories about this emergency surgery came back. I am at work and trying to focus ( not working ) but I am scared. All my optimism has gone away.
I have so many worries and weird thoughts.
On top of it is also what IF I am actually positive tested. Can I allow myself to be seflishly happy whilst other couples have been trying so many years / spend so much money and still no positive.
I hope this makes somehow sense. I had to let this out of my system. Sigh ...