Feeling rushed into IVF before trying... - Fertility Network UK

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Feeling rushed into IVF before trying anything else!

Joy35
Joy35

I’ve been trying to conceive for two and a half years. I’m very very lucky that I can receive 3 free rounds of IVF in Scotland.

However I feel like I’m being rushed into IVF without taking any other steps. I’ve been seeing doctors at Glasgow royal for a year and a half (I’ve had three appointments) and now they are saying I’m on the list for IVF. Which will take around 5 months (this was two months ago).

The more I look into it I realise that there is other things you can try without jumping straight to IVF. I haven’t had many test done at all. I had my tubes flushed and was told that my tubes were clear. My own GP did a blood test almost two years ago and said it confirmed I was ovulating.

My other half has had a sperm test done and although they said the mobility was lower than ideal that there was a lot which made up for it.

So we have been labelled with unexplained infertility.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I know how lucky I am to have the NHS. I just feel like I don’t have the full picture and I’ve been told if I go private I lose all rights to the free rounds!!

I feel like everyone else in here has done a lot of testing and tried things like clomid before they went to IVF.

Can anyone give me some information on the tests everyone else seems to have gone through. Also the stepping stones they took before IVF. My head is just a jumble and I feel I’m too emotional about it all. I’m so scared to say I’m not ready for IVF. Then still be where I am right now in another year.

30 Replies
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Hey its a mind field. I had tests for clotting thyroid.. hormonal tests like ams fsh prolactin and i cant remember any others but may be a couple more blood tests. I also had my tubes flushed. I conceived naturally many times but kept muscarrying. All my tests came back normal.

We were also told its unexplained.

We had 4 rounds of iui..I did concieve on one round but miscarried early.

I then went onto have ivf, we only got 1 cycle on the nhs and then we moved on to private abroad. We added prednisalone, clexane and cyclogest and that seemed to work for us and i now have 2 children.

Looking back I feel I would have skipped the iui cycles as it wasted almost a year. I was 35 when I had them but I guess thats how it was meant to be.

I would have gone straight to ivf if I was to do it all again.

Its about what you feel is right for you though.

All the best in making your decision.

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to dreams28

Hi Dreams,

Thanks for that. I suppose if I go straight to IVF and it gets me my baby then I should stop stressing. Did you feel you got the same from the NHS as you did the private? Where did you go abroad?

Thanks

Joy

dreams28
dreams28 in reply to Joy35

I felt i had more input with the private as nhs were not willing to offer prednisalone on clexane not even if i went private with them. All clinics are different though.

Most of the time Clomid doesn’t work and people wasted many months with it, so if you can go straight into ivf is not a bad thing. If you feel you want to try some milder treatments first I’m sure you can tell them. Ivf for what I hear can be quite an experience so you have to feel positive and ready for it!

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to FrancyItaly

Thanks fancy. I’m feeling a lot more ready for it today. The letter actually came in this morning. Starting our IVF journey on the 31st March. Still scared but more excited xxx

All I would say is the ivf process is slow and long .

If you’ve already done a year and a half other things then moving to ivf will stop the time wasting . These guys know their field. Perhaps with ICSI you’ll be a lucky one? I wish I’d looked into things earlier because then my eggs etc would have been younger and better quality .

Why don’t you ask your specific questions ? Then you’ll hear what they’re thinking .

Listen , nobody is telling you are sick etc they are telling you that they think your body needs help to get pregnant looking at the tests already done . Ivf takes longer than you think and three rounds count take 2 or 3 years depending on how spaced out your appointments are?????

I know it doesn’t feel nice to be told you need ivf , but maybe you just do like the rest of us here. You didn’t do anything wrong 🤷🏼‍♀️ and there are three specialised treatment plans waiting to help you achieve your dream of having a baby. Help is there ready if you want it .

Some women on this wall get one cycle !!!!!! Or none on nhs! Maybe if you looked up the private costs you’d see what a gift you are being offered that I for one would give my left arm . 🥺

We have paid £8,000 for two rounds so far and we will prob need more.

Once you accept the ivf thing you will feel better .

You’ve already had the see and check year and a hAlf . It’s not easy and we get it.

Sending you hugs as you begin to look at alllllll things

Hugs

Rhinocat x 💐

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to RhinoCat

Hi Rhinocat.

Sorry if I seemed like I didn’t appreciate what I was being offered. I was just having a little freak out yesterday. I watched a programme on IVF and it really upset me.

Then this morning I woke to a letter saying our appointment is on the 31st march. Im actually feeling more excited today and reading replies on here are the kick up the butt I needed haha.

I’m sorry that you have had to pay so much. I understand the money stress on top of everything else must be horrific.

I hope you don’t need to spend another penny and you have your baby soon.

Thanks so much for the reply xxx

RhinoCat
RhinoCat in reply to Joy35

Glad you got your letter , once you make a plan you will be grand . The nhs is amazing . Sure it’ll be time for that appointment in a flash . This wall is great for a kick up the butt when ya need it 😘💖💐 I’ll find out tomo if our clinic think we should just take our nhs turn or not . 🤷🏼‍♀️. All the best with your ivf meeting prep : getting as healthy as ya can , keeping the multi vitamin with folic on the go , cutting out the caffeine etc etc . Even these wee steps take you closer as it’s all part of the process 😘💖💐

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to RhinoCat

Thanks Rhinocat. I read It’s starts with the egg and since then I’ve been taking a couple of supplements along with my well women tablet. I’m actually feeling pretty healthy right now. Been eating better and working out loads. If only I can make the other half stop sneaking snacks when I go to bed haha. So where are you at just now? X

RhinoCat
RhinoCat in reply to Joy35

Heading for my review of failed round one tomo and to plans round two .

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to RhinoCat

Good luck today xxx

Hey, I completely understand that you dont want to jump into IVF however if you have been trying for 2.5 yrs and your fertility tests have come back as normal as in you are ovulating and you husbands sperm is ok-ish then I guess they are trying to help you out as most couples should conceive within a year of trying. Clomid often isnt helpful as this just helps you ovulate so no need for that if you are ovulating ok and it has some nasty side effects. I presume your clinic has checked your thyroid & prolactin levels? How old are you....you didnt mention it? These are all the basic tests along with ovulation and FSH and you hubbys side.....guessing they have as they have said its unexplained. IVF is scary but its also great that you have the potential help to have your baby! Also IVF can take some time to work....Im older and have an awkward body along with male factor but we have been doing IVF for around 5yrs now with no success.xxx

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to Cinderella5

Hi Cinderella. Thanks for that. I’m almost 36. I actually got a letter in this morning saying that our first IVF appointment will be on the 31st March. It also says they will start with some tests so hopefully I’ll then be able to ask a million questions and get some answers. My clinic hasn’t checked any sort of levels up until now. I’m feeling brighter today and more ready for this journey. Where are you on your journey at the moment? Xx

Cinderella5
Cinderella5 in reply to Joy35

Gald you are feeling a bit more positive today and yes ask lots of questions!! Im in Scotland too and we started IVF at 38....Im now 42...43 this year. Used our NHS go's and now doing private abroad. We have just had out 9th transfer and got a negative. We had 2 pregnancies along the way which didnt stick so hanging in there to use our last frozen embryo soon.xx

We weren’t offered anything else either. I was 33 when I went on the list. I’m 35 now and 2 cycles in. I wouldn’t have wanted to try anything else first right enough. I wanted the best shot in the quickest timescale because of my age.

Ivf is tough. Not going to lie to you but I don’t know much about other options and how tough they are.

Good luck whatever you choose to do xxx

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to L400ynd

Thanks L400ynd. Thank you. Your right I don’t want to waste anymore time either. So ready for my baby now xxxx

L400ynd
L400ynd in reply to Joy35

That’s our 2nd cycle just failed. So another year on to it for us. Defo don’t put it off lovely. ❤️❤️. I wish you all the luck in the world. Xxx

Hi Joy. I think this is a super sensible post. I felt very pressed into IVF, and it is quite an intense train that is hard to get off once you're on it. It's not a light decision. Hmmm, reading other peoples' responses it sounds like they were happy they went straight to IVF (or would have preferred to go straight to IVF). I think I would have preferred to know about other treatments first, but if IVF is the "gold standard" then I can understand just moving straight to it. Also, IVF can take longer than expected. We first went to a clinic October 2018! Can't believe it was that long ago. We're also £20k in the hole (so far). I'm so pleased for you that you get 3 free rounds on the NHS. That's awesome. Wait, are you saying that if you go private for anything at all you lose all 3 IVF rounds? That would suck!

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to ttcemmie

Hi ttcennie, Yes if I go private I lose all my NHS benefits. Which I think is silly as we would have went private already and may have saved the NHS money. However I’m too scared to lose all three rounds. I can’t imagine doing this with money stress on top of all the rest. Thanks for the message xx

ttcemmie
ttcemmie in reply to Joy35

Oh well in that case, I can completely understand not wanting to lose 3 rounds of IVF. That's a lot of money! Silly NHS rules.

I would honestly not worry about ‘rushing’ into it, we have waited similar time to you before our IVF actually started. And we are still waiting, there is no straight line and from all the lovely ladies stories on here it’s not a tick box and you get you BFP 1st time. You have waited this long, go easy on yourself and embrace it if you can xx

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to MumofaSpaniel

Thanks mumofaspaniel. Yeah I feel like it’s still going to be a while off. Our first ivf appointment is the end of March. However I’m guessing it will be nearer the end of April or even May before we really get into it. Thanks for the message xxxx

Hey lovely,

I think it’s quite normal for people diagnosed as unexplained to go straight in to IVF. The other options tend to be for women who don’t ovulate or perhaps need an op for some reason.

I started with my clinic just before I turned 35 and I’m now 38 so unfortunately it can take a whole lot longer than you hope or expect! It can seem daunting but you’ll hit your stride. Wishing you lots of luck xx

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to Solly-44

Hi Solly,

I suppose that makes sense. Sorry it’s been 3 years for you. I hope your wait is over soon xxx

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to Solly-44

How many rounds have you done? If you don’t mind me asking xx

Solly-44
Solly-44 in reply to Joy35

No not at all! I did 3 frozen cycles and am currently 19 weeks pregnant (still feels weird to say! 😬). The main reason it took to long was we did ovulation induction before starting, which delayed ivf by a year, and then I had to have a tiny op. Then had to do a freeze all cycle! Got there in the end though ☺️ xx

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to Solly-44

That’s amazing news. So delighted for you. Enjoy being pregnant xxx

Hiya Joy35,

This was me too. We tried for two years had minimal tests. Not even tubes flushed.

Exactly like you unexplainable why we can’t. Now after my first failed attempt (only 1 on the NHS) we are investigating further options.

I feel that IVF is just sold to you as the only option. In fact at our follow up appointment the consultant just said “well you have four good embryos” you might want to take some vitamins and do acupuncture, then we look forward to seeing you in the new year”!

I mean I have so many things running through my head, things that could be wrong or we that haven’t done.

Your totally right to be couscous! Do what you feel right with. Remember these clinics are businesses. We are now trying to explore options before further IVF.

Trying to protect my emotions and not get stuck in the IVF cycle chasing that baby dream.

Let me know your progress,

Big hugs

❤️

Joy35
Joy35 in reply to lablover5658

Hi Lab lover,

Thank you so much for that. I never wanted to seem ungrateful as I know there’s so many people who don’t have the option of IVF on the NHS. It just feels that every time I say we’re going for IVF people say oh so you have already tried X,Y and Z. Most of the time I don’t even know what they are talking about.

Then I think I also don’t want to waste another year trying things that may not work. I don’t want to end up regretting that I didn’t just go for it.

This whole journey just messes with your mind and has you over thinking every little thing.

I’ve had Mayan massages and reflexology the past two months. However there no real way to know if it’s doing anything 🙄.

If I had unlimited funds I think I’d have myself demented with acupuncture, hypnosis, reflexology, massages.

We have our first IVF appointment at the end of March. So I’ll go to that and have all my questions written down. Otherwise my mind goes blank while I’m in there!!

I really hope you find something that works for you. If you do let me know ASAP haha.

Fingers crossed this is our year 🤞xxx

Hi Joy35,

I never thought this whole process would be so complicated!

I never got the chance to explore other investigations because of my age and got hurried into my first round the only on the NHS. Now I fear I am facing another journey now exploring other possible things. This is before we commit to sending nearly 3,000 on a frozen cycle.

I think relaxation and massages do help keep you mentally calm and this is important. I am

Also looking at improving my diet to build immunity as I have heard this can make a difference to implantation.

Wishing you all the best for your meeting.

Let’s hope 2020 is our baby year

Xxxx🤗

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