You've probably heard enough of me posting about being emotional now. It just seems to have all hit me quite hard these last few days. All I can think about is seeing the baby's heartbeat. It's the first time I've ever seen our baby's heartbeat. The baby was just in the wrong place. I'm just so upset it's all I can visualise, the night before it was taken away along with my dominant tube.
After four years of trying, we thought we had finally done it. The relief, and hope after the great blood test readings only lasted a few days before being taken in for surgery. I'm just heartbroken.
If anyone could give me words of hope, or advice I'd appreciate it. To add to it, getting an appointment at the clinic seems nearly impossible at the moment, so I'm worried funding will run out for IVF. The doctor told me to loose weight as soon as possible due to this last October, which I did, then my ectopic happened. They can't see us until April, and aren't being particularly helpful in the mean time
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KirstyC90
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I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m really sorry you’re not getting the support you need from the medics 😳
I went through a miscarriage in July after 6 years ttc and it’s broken my heart 💔 the sense of loss is horrendous and unimaginable 😭💔
Please don’t ever feel like you can’t post here- you need to let these feelings out then do it as much as you need to. We are here to support you 💗 and right behind you xoxo
Thanks, I am writing a letter to the MP that writes the IVF policy, as I have been reading, and I am worried that funding cuts are going to start taking effect here soon, and I don't want to miss out, that would break my heart even more thanks for your e-mail. There isn't a lot of support out there unless you are breaking down in front of your medical professional I don't think. If they think you look ok, they just let you get on with it, that's my experience. Just because I can hold back tears and would rather not cry uncontrollably in front of a stranger if I can help it xxx
Hi. I’m so sorry to read that you’re struggling so much but it’s understandable. Don’t feel bad for that. I’ve had three miscarriages now, two of them were missed miscarriages after ivf last year, in April and again in September. We saw both babies heartbeats, the second one we’d seen twice and we’d never got that far before either, we dared to believe we’d done it! It was our turn. Obviously it wasn’t. Seeing those heartbeats, well for me, it’s what makes it turn from the dream into a reality. You’ll probably be picking up the pieces for a long time to come but you can and you will get stronger all the time. This forum is always here to “listen” so don’t worry about that xx
Thanks for your reply, and I'm so sorry you have been through that too it's so awful isn't it! Seeing the heartbeat like you said makes it feel real. Unfortunately we saw ours knowing that there was nothing we could do, the surgery had to happen to save my life. I'm just so sad xxx
It’s truly awful. Better times will come and you will laugh again. And you will find the strength to keep fighting. Don’t ask me where from but you will. Although you will obviously never forget your baby xx
I’m so sorry to hear about what you have been through and it is totally understandable to feel frustrated and upset. Vent away! A lot of the clinics have a counsellor connected with them that you can often access before you even see the clinic team.
Re funding- I’ve been on the board of a London health CCG (they are responsible for allocating budgets for health services in a particular area) and even with all the budget problems, IVF never came up re cuts to services. It was discussed about the age range but that was it. Also, to make any cuts and stop a service they have to give notice to the hospital which they can’t do until their contract is up. Which area do you live in? You can write a question to your local CCG for them to answer at their governing body meeting in public.
Thank you for your reply, I have written to the MP about cuts and why they should re consider cuts and think about it. I live in Norfolk xxx
Hi Kirsty, I am so sorry for your loss, I too had a ectopic pregnancy after our IUI treatment. It was over shadowed as I had caught twice. I miscarried first then due to bleeding my ectopic was overlooked even though my bloods was reaching the thousands.. they assumed I had tissue left inside making bloods go up.. it wasn't until numerous visits to our Early pregnancy unit I saw a different consultant and she rushed me straight to theatre I was very poorly and was bleeding internally my right tube had ruptured.. I was 10 weeks 5 days when they removed our baby and my right tube. Losing our twins at different stages heartbreaking.. I just want to say to you the pain will never go away. But you will find the strength to continue the IVF journey. Like we all do when things like this happen it does makes us stronger. I know when things like this happen our heads say to start treatment again I always find things better knowing our next treatment is in sight.. but sometimes we do need time to grieve and that's ok.. the fertility journey is a hard one .. and uses up a lot of our time and energy.. we need to be emotional prepared as well as physically prepared. April will soon be here, use that time to relax and enjoy spare time before starting the journey again. Most importantly look after yourselves. Xxx
Hi Kirsty, this is absolutely heartbreaking, I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. If you haven’t done so, would you consider availing of the counselling service provided by your clinic? It might help with your emotional well being. Sending you lots of love and will be thinking of you xoxo
Im so sorry for your devastating loss. I havent experienced what u have so have no words of advice but wanted to let u know im thinking of you! What a distressing situation for u! Be kind to yourself during this difficult time 💞
I think an ectopic is particularly hard because as you say there is a baby there with a heart beating but then they take it from you and as well as the horrible emotions you go through surgery when you are at a very low ebb please just be very kind to yourself there is no time limit to grief and no right way to get through it just believe that you will get through and there is every chance that IVF can be successful for you I know this as it has happened for my daughter x
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