Here we go Round 3- Lucky Number 3

[MrsTM13]

Hello Ladies, its been a good long while since I posted so I'll fill in some history.

We did round 1 of ICSI this time last year and although I was classed as pregnant I was told to expect an early miscarriage as my HcG was so low. The miscarriage came the next week.

We started round 2, a frozen cycle, in October and got my second BFP November 28th. Words cannot describe how happy I felt ( I'm not one to cry usually but all I did was cry with happiness). We had a scan on xmas eve and saw the heartbeat and were signed out of the ivf clinic. We told our family over xmas and just before new year I had my first scare. But all turned out to be okay until a few weeks later and on 19th January I woke up and told a friend at work 'I don't feel pregnant anymore.' I started bleeding that day and found out on 22nd January there was no heartbeat.

I've spent the last few months trying to understand how to function again as a normal human being. I have good days and bad and I know it sounds so dramatic but unless you've been through I don't think you can truly understand.

We have a meeting with the clinic on Thursday afternoon to discuss starting treatment again. A part of me is excited but more than anything I'm terrified.

I've had BFP's twice, I surely can't be lucky enough 3 times in a row to get another BFP. We go on holiday at the end of the month to celebrate my 30th and then I hope to start treatment either towards the end of my holiday or the day I come back if my timings are correct.

Has anyone had the same or similar experience and it was a case of third time lucky? Searching for hope wherever I can.

x

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear what you've been through. You are one tough lady. To see that all important positive and then lose once is cruel twice you poor thing. I wish I had words that would make you feel better. X have you thought of having nk tested? Nk can cause fertility/miscarriages. The reason I say this is I recently had mine tested and my results came back too high. Honest to god I'm so glad that I saved up and had this test prior fertility appointment otherwise this could be the difference between our treatment working or failing. I don't know understand why every clinic doesn't offer this test as rountine. Sometimes I think fertility doesn't get the recognition that it deserves. It is an vile illness. X

[MrsTM13]

Jess,

Thank you. What is NK? I had to have surgery after the second miscarriage so the hospital were prepared to do limited tests as ' you haven't had 3 miscarriages. If you'd had 3 we would test for everything.' But from the limited tests it showed what they first said to me that it was chromosomal. x

[Hidden in reply to MrsTM13]

It's horrible that you would have suffer 3 losses before they would do anything. Can anything be done for the chromosomal? Or is it pot luck?

Sorry nk stands for natural killer cells. These cells serve a great purpose to fight infections and cancer. But higher levels can have a negative effect on fertility/pregnancies. If too high (over 10%) these cells can attack an embryo as a foreign object and cause miscarriage. The good news is there is treatment to suppress bodies "over reaction" to any future pregnancies. This test can be done at any time of your cycle and costs around £300. Personally I think it's money well spent. I had it done in a private clinic and had to pay £85 for admistration/ not being a registered patient at the clinic. ( I'm running tests whilst I await my NHS fertility appointment next month). If you want details on where I had this test done please pm me.

The other thing is you could ask your clinic if you would benefit from taking baby aspirin? As that can help prevent miscarriages and is sometimes given to those who have suffered miscarriages. It's also called low dose aspirin it's 75mcg to take daily whilst you under go treatment.

Finally having rambled on what to wish you the very best with your next cycle and hope it brings you a beautiful baby in your arms. X

[MrsTM13 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the information. A NK hasn't been mentioned to me but I will ask both questions on Thursday. X

[Hidden]

I will be starting 3 cycle soon. First cycle didn't work, 2nd cycle got our BFP but had s chemical pregnancy. I am also excited but dreading going through this all ago. We have used our 2 NHS cycles now so self funding at a private clinic. We have an appointment on the 26th July to discuss moving forward xxx

[MrsTM13 in reply to Hidden]

Sorry to hear about your previous cycles. It's gut wrenching when you put so much time, effort and hope into it- even when you try to keep yourself in check it's hard. Good luck for your review appointment.

My husband had a vasectomy so all of our treatment has had to be private. One benefit is short waiting times.

x

[Hidden in reply to MrsTM13]

I am considering DE as my first go was a rubbish response and 2nd go was 2 average eggs with a 3 day transfer, so never got any to blast or any to freeze. I am 37 now and just want to be a mummy so want to speak to them about DE X

[MrsTM13 in reply to Hidden]

I donated 6 eggs from my fresh cycle and they had someone run along side my cycle I believe to receive one or some of mine. It's more expensive privately I know that. X

[Hollibob]

It might be worth having a look at the new Tommy's clinics as they believe women shouldn't have to go through 3 miscarriages before investigations begin.

We had a BFP fresh cycle 1 = missed miscarriage, negative fresh cycle 2 and BFP FET cycle = chemical miscarriage.

From experiencing the above, we believe we'd had 2 other miscarriages prior to IVF and we therefore got referred for recurrent miscarriage checks....nothing shown to date.

We are hoping to try again soon X

[MrsTM13 in reply to Hollibob]

After the second miscarriage I knew I wasn't ready. I couldn't even think about trying for another baby as all I wanted was the one we lost, ( I hate the term lost- it's like I misplaced it) but you know what I mean.

I can already feel myself becoming obsessed with things being right for trying cycle 3 so ill take that as a positive sign.

Good luck with your future cycle and moving forwards.

X

[Daisy14]

I just wanted to say good luck. It took me so many months to come out of a complete darkness after my miscarriage. I allegedly 'took it very hard' according to many people in my life, but I do think that you can only really understand the devastation if you've been through it. And you know when you're ready.

The appointment is your gentle next step. I hope you come out of it with a little hope and excitement. I was surprised how positive I felt after mine as I finally felt like I was doing something and not just grieving. I'm on the 2ww of my next cycle now and am terrified beyond belief, but don't regret doing it for a second.

Take a list of questions and I wish you all the best. Have a lovely holiday to rest and contemplate and to get yourself ready for lucky number 3. Let us know how you get on xx