Down day

[Littledee88]

Having a down day just lazying about in my pjs can't be bothered doing anything back at work tomorrow don't even want to go back. Since getting my bfn I have been trying to give myself a shake get up get ready do my hair and make up try feel positive that it's not all over I am young and can do a other cycle. Today I just feel like sleeping and hiding from the world have not even opened my blinds as my neighbour across the road might come over she is lovely and great support to me I just don't want to face anyone today. Over the last week I have had few glasses of wine cause I think what the heck no I am starting to feel bad about it as what if it has affected my eggs for trying next time. Just now it's a struggle to put a load of washing on and tidy up and clean the bathroom I just don't want to do anything. And this next cycle and appointments feel such a long time away. Prob be January before I start and by that time my sister will have had her baby she's only been with her bf 18months I have been with my husband 5years and 3years married and ttc for 3years after his vasectomy reversal. Just doesn't seem fair. Yesterday I was crying to low in the shower and feel to my knees I just don't feel like am coping very well with this it's hurting to bad😭

[Waitingforourmiracle]

Oh littledee I'm sending you hugs. This is a really tough journey so do not beat yourself up. If you need days to just chill and hide away then you do that.

I'm in the 2ww and I had plans to bake today and I just can't be bothered. I have just napped as I didn't sleep well last night and I'm now just watching trashy tv in my sweats. The house is a bit messy and I need to do some work for my photography business but right now it can all wait. I'm back at work tomorrow after being off sick since ec and I'm dreading going back as it's a new job and quite stressful at the moment - so another reason to just relax and do nothing today.

You take all the time you need xx

[Littledee88 in reply to Waitingforourmiracle]

Thanks Hun, hope ur 2ww goes in quick for u and ur jobs not too stressful and will be keeping everything crossed for u to get that BFP and a healthy pregnancy. Xx

[Sunshine09]

Thinking of you ❤️💐💋

[Littledee88 in reply to Sunshine09]

Thanks Hun xx

[E_05]

Thinking of you, it's totally understandable to have days like these though, sometimes we need to hide away and just 'be'.

Don't blame yourself for having a couple of glasses of wine either we're all entitled to a drink or 2 after all we put ourselves through.

Remember we're all here for you, take all the time you need xx

[Littledee88 in reply to E_05]

Thanks Hun means a lot hopefully once I am back at work and busy I won't be thinking about it too much. People I work with all know what I was going through ivf and I know this might sound silly but I feel like I am a failure and not going back to work with good news of a pregnancy I know no one will think that but I feel this way. Wish I never told anyone about going through ivf. Xx

[E_05 in reply to Littledee88]

Never think you a failure because you're definitely not! I know what you mean about the added pressure of people knowing though but in some ways that means greater support for you at work. It's such a hard decision to tell people or not but you did what you felt was right at the time, I hope your day goes okay xx

[Littledee88 in reply to E_05]

Thanks went ok today at work going to start back at a exercise class again tomorrow get myself out and try and to positive things and try and stay positive. Hopefully there will be light at the end of the tunnel 💗xx

[E_05 in reply to Littledee88]

Sounds good, I think it helps the mind doing exercise to. There most definitely will, I know it doesn't feel like it atm but you will find the strength to 'go again' if that's what you decide xx

[MissyR]

I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time. As other people have said, it's completely understandable after all you've been through. There are times when you just need to be on your own to process stuff....And don't worry about a few glasses of wine either- you've got to do what it takes to get through. I have already said to myself I'll be having some wine if I get a negative test later this week. It's a gruelling experience and you have to find small glimmers of hope and relief where you can find them....and occasionally that might be in a large glass of vino!

Take good care of yourself

XX

[Littledee88 in reply to MissyR]

Thank you I will be keeping everything crossed for u that u get that BFP and will be on the non alcoholic beer this weekend. Xxx

[vic77]

Hey hun.I am sure .ostrich women on here can relate to how you are feeling.I certainly can. After our bfns I just wanted to be hidden in my husbands pocket if that makes sense. Didn't want to be far from him and didn't want to see anyone. Going back to work will be hard initially but will help get back to a routine after your loss. Drink wine, eat do whatever makes you feel better at the time and try not to beat yourself up if you can although that seems 2nd nature to most of us on here lol. Much love xx

[Littledee88 in reply to vic77]

Thanks for ur support. Sorry about ur bfn this ivf rollercoaster is not a easy ride knocks the Sh**t out you. Today went to work felt ok once I was there think it will prob do me good the last 4weeks I have been a missed crying and turning into mrs google think work will give me something to focus on. Good luck on ur journey and will be keeping everything crossed for u. Xx

[Blondie_81]

Oh dear I'm so sorry for you, I can totally relate to how you're feeling and you'll have lots of up and down days like this but over time you will feel better and stronger and more positive. I think I've been quite numb today and think I'll have worse days to come getting over our bfn yesterday. There's just so much going on in my head - questions that nobody seems to be able to answer. We'll be ok and everything will turn out alright. Lots of love xxx

[Littledee88 in reply to Blondie_81]

Sorry to hear about ur bfn. Hopefully our turn of being a mum won't be too long away. Sending u hugs and love hope ur keeping ok xx