Should I take a break?

[M_V_B]

My period started yesterday, today it's heavy enough to to know my first round of IUI is over. I think the clinic wants me to start my next cycle immediately but I was thinking about taking a month off. This weekend has been horrible, I'd really got my hopes up this time and I feel like I'm grieving. I don't think I can start another cycle tomorrow. I was also thinking about losing some weight before trying again. My bmi is 25, right at the top of normal, but I'm 20lb heavier than my normal weight after quitting smoking last year. I know that you shouldn't diet when doing IUI but does it matter if I diet right before a cycle? On the other hand my AMH levels aren't getting any better and I don't want to delay things. I don't know what to do for the best.

[Rach_87]

Morning M_V_B  i am so sorry that it hasn't worked for you this time. Do what feels right for you. Your time will come. Sending you hugs xx

[Hidden]

Really sorry to hear this.i agree  Rach_87 do what feels right for you. It is a grieving process and sometimes it does you the world of good to have a break from it all. Due to very different reasons (gynae issues)I've had a break from trying and it's done me good. Going  through treatment in itself is emotionally challenging and you need to be mentally physically and emotionally strong. Only you'll know when you feel ready to go again. Maybe some time out to help gather yourself. Do things for you. Wishing you all the best with whatever you decide x

[M_V_B in reply to Hidden]

Hey Jess, I hope you don't mind me asking but your profile says that you had unexplained infertility but then you got an explanation. Would you mind telling me how you did that or what was wrong? My husband and I have been diagnosed as unexplained and it just feels like they have given up trying to find out rather than a real resolution.

[Hidden in reply to M_V_B]

That's fine my lovely. 

Feel your pain. The unexplained diagonsis is so incredibly frustrating. It so hard to know what treatment would work best if they don't know what is causing the infertilty. Our ex clinic told us it was ivf or trying and they wouldn't fund us as I have a son from a previous relationship never mind the fact my husband is not yet a father. Discharged about 2 years ago.

In nut shell changes in my period has shown evidence of something not being ok. I'll tell you my story in case you see something that you might think I have that. Sorry it's quite long!

I'll try to keep this as short as possible not to bore you 😂 September 2014 my cycles totally changed. I started experiencing severe cramping and spotting between my cycle ( between ovulation and next period) and period went from being a perfect 28 day cycle to period ranging from 21 day to 35 day cycle lengths and severe heavy periods that I needed double protection and couldn't leave the house for fear of flooding. I saw my GP febuary 2015 over the changes and she did some routine blood tests and booked a scan which revealed a cyst on my right ovary and they Thought they saw ssubmuscol fibroid. Had a Hysterscopy  and biospy in July 2015 to be told nothing was there and no cancer 👍 went back September consultant was not helpful, so got my GP to try to treat my issue. He tried transexamic acid norethistrone none of these worked. Bleeding has got so bad it's caused me to have anaemia so now I'm on iron supplements and been montored with regular blood tests.So back to gynae last Wednesday and he basically gave me 2 choices 1) go on pill or have a cool  fitted 2) be re referred to an NHS fertility clinic to be treated by his colleagues which he is putting in writing to my GP. Thinks I've got good grounds for referral. He thinks there is no such thing as unexplained infertility haha he laughed at it. Anyway coz the issues he thinks I may have problems ovulating which are causing my period problems. I see my GP 5th may and hopefully he'll agree to comply with gynaes recommendation. 🙏 

Maybe you could talk to an GP and see if you could ask for further testing. Or ask if they could recommend tests you could have done. 

Hope that helps a little. All we can tell ourselves is it will be worth it when we have a baby. Always have hope x

[M_V_B in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much for sharing your story. It sounds like you're been through the mill. I don't think there's such a thing as unexplained infertility either. There are just problems they can't test for yet. I know it's better than being told you can never have children but it's so frustrating not knowing why it's not working. I'm going to try going back to my normal weight as, although I'm still in the normal range (just) I'm not comfortable at this size and  with friends who were struggling to conceive losing weight has helped. After that I'm out of ideas to try.

[Hidden]

Do what is right for you my love and if you are grieving take time to get over that.  Only you know how you feel xx

[WeeMrsH]

If you think you need a break, take it. The process is horrible and you need to be at your strongest for your next cycle. If your instinct is telling you you want out for a few weeks, listen to it. On the other hand, in a few days time you may feel very differently and wish you were doing something. Frustration can be equally bad to cope with. Do you have to decide today? xx

[M_V_B in reply to WeeMrsH]

I've decided to have a month off and lose a bit of weight. It's the only thing I can think of that might help that I'm not already doing. Hopefully that will still feel like I'm doing something positive whilst giving me a mental break. Thanks for all the message everyone. I really needed them today. Xx

[M_V_B]

Yeah, IUI starts on day 2 of the cycle which will be tomorrow.

[Hidden]

In my experience when you take break you actually buy yourself some time, you can 'rewind' you body clock a little as you allow yourself to fall in to a more healthy psychological and thus physical state. However as the others have said ignore what I say and trust your instinct! x

[hope84]

Feeling your pain on a failed cycle I have had the same over the weekend with our IVF cycle been for blood this morning just waiting for confirmation but we know deep down but still have to go ahead with testing as part of protocol. I think only you can decide what to do for the best, if you feel like taking some time out do what's right for you. It is a grieving process when you have a failed cycle and if you need time take that time for yourself. This journey is physically and emotionally draining maybe take some time out to gather your thoughts. Best of luck xxx

[Hidden]

We dived straight into a FET after failed cycle and on reflection I wish we had waited. If it works it'll be swell but possibly facing double grief might be too soon? If you're going to take a break I would do a holiday or decorate something to keep your mind off it otherwise all you'll do is think about it, in which case you might as well get on with trying again? X