Had my mother calling me today. She was "back at it again" with her ohhh this is so unfortunate that she won't see her grandchildren or something. All of that same right after I told her that I was doing fine after the surgery. So I assumed that she thought that she finally could talk about what is the most important to her. I said that it is sad and all that jazz but I do not quite see how it is even relevant given my current state. She did shut up for a minute but then continued with oh sweety you should not be that negative, the world if full of magic and wonders, so do not think that this is all over for you. Yeah, talk about bad timing.
I do not know if any of you has experienced anything of the sort but it kills me to even hear anything about kids right at the moment. I know that here are women who cannot support my views so I am really sorry for killing the mood. However, what can you do in my situation? I really feel like I need some support apart from that I am getting from my husband, he has to go to work and I am alone all day long, the only good thing is that I can talk to my friends via skype and to him too. But it is not quite what I want. I would love to talk to someone who's been dealing with the same emotional pain as I am right now...
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thingsmee
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I'm really sorry to hear your post. It must be so difficult for you. I'm not in the same situation but wanted to say that if you wanted to rant at all, do feel free to pm me. Sending a big hug. x
It is difficult indeed, sometimes I feel fine but there are still moments of silent pain, my husband is very attentive and he did not even show his sadness and how irritated he possibly was when I was just lying down all day long in the bed and doing nothing but blogging and watching stupid vids on youtube.
Thank you, honey! I am now calmer than I was that day so there is just no need at the moment, but I'll take it if, in future, I feel broken! Thank you and sending you a big hug too!
I think we all feel broken at some point. We all have days where the world seems just too unfair to navigate. I tend to allow myself to feel that way and find that I get fed up of feeling that way and start to feel brighter. x
everyone starts eventually feeling fed up with sadness and depression if we are not talking about clinical conditions obviously
I think that it is important to always be reminded that there are more things to this life than what you are going through right at the moment. so yeah...
Please do ring our Support Line and speak to the lovely Diane for emotional support. You can contact Diane directly on 0121 323 5025 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays between 10am and 4pm. This is a free service - I hope you find the support you need.
For more formal counselling then you can contact the British Infertility Counselling Association - bica.net - this is a paid service.
How very insensitive of her. Sadly some people can't empathise even when they are told what they are saying is unhelpful. Could you avoid her calls for a while, eg let it go to voice mail. Or perhaps your other half could tell her to lay off the children chat for now given your very recent & life changing op?
It was kind of insensitive, to be quite honest, this is the time when I can get angry over the word uterus not talking about kids and everything related to them... I thought that she was really egoistic and rude, sort of, but I couldn't get that angry at her as she is my mother, I guess it is due to her age as I am not young and she's obviously not too.
I have told my hubby to talk to her and I guess my reaction was already a sign to never bring this up again. So I am hoping she won't do this again or at least I will tell her what I think of her at that moment without trying to be nice.
I'm surprised you were not more rude and managed to hold it together on the phone at all so you be proud of yourself for even that!
She does sound completely tactless and unhelpful and right now when everything is sore and emotionally so raw you must look after you and surround yourself with people who are kind and helpful and supportive and push those that are unhelpful or downright hurtful to the back of the queue.
I do hope your husband came home and have you the biggest hugs. Know that we are all supporting you and wishing you better quickly.
I just couldn't have said anything rude to her, she is the one who raised me and despite her being tactless in the worst moment she could've chosen, I love her. But I guess if she does not stop there is no way I will stay silent.
He is the best, totally, he's helping me out with getting back to life, I have even managed to cook a dinner for two the day before yesterday and I fell in love with him that evening for the second time. He's definitely the man I need by my side especially right now.
You must be feeling so tender emotionally right now and that was very insensitive. I agree that perhaps you could ask hubby to speak to your mother or will that make things worse? Or avoiding her may be a good thing. Is there anyone else in the family or friend circle you can talk to? I hope you find a support group or perhaps some counselling or something to help you through. Youve had a really tough time. Thinking of you and sending hugs xxx
I am totally asking my hubby to talk to her and I have already told him that we have to do something about it. But there is not that much we can do due to the fact that she is the closest person to me in the whole world. And maybe she was selfish and thought only about herself but she did give me life and I cannot imagine us being rude to her, but for now, I turned off my phone and have logged out of all of the mails.
I'm so sorry, we all open our mouths without thinking sometimes and loving someone doesn't always change that. As a mum I'd want to know if I had been a bit tactless so why not just talk to her and tell her how it made you feel.
I think that it is one of the best ideas I have encountered here, honestly... I think that it is also would be better to not to talk to her for a while just to calm down, but as I have repeated constantly, I am not a monster and I cannot treat my mom that way, she is the one who brought me up and honestly I feel that she is really lonely and has only me and my father as her best allies. I cannot even hate her or get angry at her because of all of this.
And I totally feel like talking to her about myself would be a great decision just so she is not left out of my life and gets to play a decent role as she used to.
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