Feeling low

We had a failed Ivf in May and I'm feeling pretty low at the moment as I've put on weight so now need to lose about a stone and a half, we have to save again as can only do it privately and it feels like we have to wait a long time now until we can try again. I have just had a lovely family night out for my birthday but feel like time is now running out as I've just turned 38.

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  • Hey hun I know exactly how your feeling I've just had my 8th failed attempt in may 2 and I'm 38. It's very sad that we don't get it free as ivf is an illness not a choice my only hope is on my next go it works I've come to realise it may neva happen tho which is very hard to deal with but ive been trying since I was 21 spent 37 thousand pound and nothing. Try not to be so hard on ya self X

  • I'm awful sorry that's a lot of attempts, I really hope your next attempt works you deserve it so much. It's so hard isn't it when it doesn't work, I have everything crossed for you. And thank you so much for your support. xxxx

  • Hey missus id failed icsi fertilisation in July.. It's hard going.. They told me they didn't know why, they've only seen this once and it happened to that girl again.. Filled me with hope for next time..

    I thought screw this, I'm finding out why myself.. And I think I have.. I've auto immune diseases and have inflammation in my body.. I found a study that shows a marked improvement in ivf cycles with low dose steroids and aspirin.. I'm going to give that a whirl..

    We've got to stay positive and fight for our rights to be mothers..

    Never give up.. There are so many people who have proved perseverance pays.. I wouldn't wish the process on anyone.. But concentrate on the end goal.. Big hugs xx

  • Hi jpmac it is so hard, and I have a daughter who is now 16, I met my husband when she was 3 so have been trying for years, but that was my first attempt at Ivf. Sounds like a good idea with the aspirin and steroids, I'm going to take a tablet called DHEA there a type of steroid that my consultant recommended, there using them in America at the moment, they mature your eggs and help you produce more to fertilise. You take them 3months before egg collection. I wish you luck for the future xxxx

  • Hi Gill76

    I'm so sorry yr feeling low and yr attempt in May was unsuccessful. As the others say it's a shame we have to get to the stage where we have to pay for this treatment. It is so expensive. Seems unfair though that just because you try for a baby late in life and then have to go down the IVF route you end up having to pay a fortune just to become a mum. There was talk of them increasing the age to 42 for IvF on the NHS, but I guess that will take time to come into effect. I'm 42 this month and I don't get any trys on the NHS, so I understand how your feeling about saving etc. It's tough. I also am trying to lose weight, although I only want to lose a bit I haven't been told I've got to. I find the quickest way is to eat little and often, don't give up things you like as you'll crave them more, just say things like today I'm going to have two chocolate biscuits but I will just work out or swim or whatever for a bit longer! Try and exercise every day, I know it's hard to find the energy or enthusiasm to exercise, especially if you're fed up, but trust me it will help with your mood, and the endorphins will lift your spirit. A brilliant work out DVD if you don't like going to classes is Gillian Michaels 30 day blast. It's a bit tough but you will see results. Stage one for The first 10 days isn't too bad actually!

    After I recovered from my laparoscopy to clear endometriosis from everywhere! I found it SO hard to get back into my work outs as I was so down about it all. Because my AMH is low, and because of my age I was told in order for to have a healthy successful pregnancy I should use a donor egg. This was a huge blow and it took quite a while to get my head around it. But exercise does clear your head for sure. I realised eventually that being a mum is all encompassing, it's not just about the baby having your genes. You still grow the baby, give birth, breast feed it, raise it etc etc. My clinic takes into account actual looks too not just blonde hair, blue eyes etc etc.

    There are options that you could do with your next treatment - they may have suggested this but you could enter the egg sharing scheme. This is where you share your eggs to someone like me who can't use their own eggs in their IVF cycles which means you would then get your treatment cheaper. You may have to check the age on this though as I think it may be 35 and under.

    The other option, and you'll know why I'm saying this, is find out the quality of your eggs from the specialist, and discuss with them the possibility of having a donor egg. A really hard choice maybe, but my clinic in Barcelona told me they've helped so many ladies who have had failed attempts with their own eggs but become pregnant using a donor.

    As you've had 1 go though I would personally try your own eggs again for another attempt, also if you get lots of nice healthy eggs they could freeze some which means any subsequent trys wouldn't be as expensive.

    And try and stay positive, annoying when people say that I know! But we're all going through things on this site, so we do genuinely understand your frustration, pain and low mood, so message any time and look after yourself


  • Thank you so much for your help, I'm going to try DHEA tablets there using them in America at the moment, and we were advised by our consultant about them, they mature and strengthen your eggs so you can get more to fertilise. I will try the DVD thank you, and your right you do feel better exercising and losing weight. I wish you lots of luck with your treatment take care xxxx

  • Oh and also check for that blood problem like the other lady said. Someone I know had it, which can affect treatment for sure. But it is treatable as she said x

  • I will thank you what's it called the blood problem, and will they definately test me for it if i ask xxxx

  • Hey Hun sorry to hear that your IVF failed in May. No one understands how's it feels and how stressful the whole fertility process is. I know it's hard to think & stay positive but I want you to know miracles do happen. My husband & I were TTC for 3 years. In short we went private too. Just before we started the medication I fell pregnant. I had to do test after test to make sure as didn't believe it. I mean why didn't it happen before? I don't know if it was because we had plan in place (IVF) so I relaxed more or it was just our time for some good luck. Either way my point is please don't give up hun. Keep fighting through and keep healthy. There's so much support on here. We bought all the medication for IVF etc and it's still sat in the fridge unopened/untouched as a part of me feels that it still needs to be there now that's silly I know. (I'm coming up 14 weeks). If I can help grow another miracle and the cost is holding you back get in touch with me Hun. My medication is sat there / pet free, non smoking home. I would love to hear through us ladies sticking together we have another positive outcome! All the best Hun in whatever path you chose. Look after yourself. Xx

  • Thank you so much Mooster, and congratulations on your wonderful news, you both must be very happy. I would love to take your medication huni, is there a good date on and do you still have to pay for appointments like scans etc. I have DHEA tablets to take which our consultant recommended, you take them 3months before your egg collection to mature them and make them stronger the doc wants to put me on 5 powders this time instead of 4 to help more wish they would of done that on the 1st attempt. They are currently taking them in America and have had good reviews. My husband works away so we have his sperm frozen so i can just do it while he's away to save waiting. Good luck with your pregnancy and take good care of yourself. XxxX

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