Hi everyone,
Sorry for the radio silence after my EC - I was feeling pretty unwell with OHSS for the following week and feeling down that we're now on hold until April for a FET. I went into the EC on 23 Jan with 27 mature follicles, 11 eggs were retrieved, 10 were fertilised, which went down to 4 embryos at day two and at day five we had 1 embryo standing which is a 5AC grade.
As you're warned from the beginning, I knew it would all be a bit of a roller coaster and although I had prepared myself that the numbers would go down from follicles to embryo, I wasn't prepared for such a drop and that combined with the OHSS and hormones getting back out of my system, I avoided the forums as I just wanted to get it all out of my mind until April, when we will be able to have a FET for the little guy but it's never that easy.
I've had one friend who told me she was pregnant around Christmas and although it's been hard seeing constant updates on social media of her and her bump, I've been able to be happy for her whilst also being thankful that she's not a best friend as that would be more of a struggle. So I returned to work last week and had picked myself up again, dreaming of a holiday in March to help with the distraction and telling myself that it will go quickly, and then yesterday came.
My best friend who has been here for me throughout the entire process and is the sweetest person in the world, struggled to tell me yesterday that she had just done a pregnancy test and that after their first month off the pill, she was pregnant. It was a huge shock but I was able to express my sincere elation as she'll be an amazing mum but some tears followed in the evening. Then this morning the second of my 3 closest friends told me that she is pregnant as well and I crumbled.
I have such admiration for you all who have been going through this for far longer than me, at only my first round, but I just don't know how you and we do it! I know that I will pick myself up and I will be excited with them as I see scan pictures and feel little baby kicks but know that I will be breaking inside at the same time.
I am sorry for the long essay but as you all know and appreciate, sometimes you need to just have an outpour! I find it hard to be 100% open with my husband since our diagnosis is male factor and the last thing I want to do is add to his feelings of guilt.
Thank you all for your support to date and I send you all love and empathy xXx