Hello there, my name is Clare and i am 32 years old. I live in Downham Market Norfolk. I am at my wits end trying to get any kind of help and really dnt no what other options i have left..
Ive always wanted to b mum. To me its my hole purpose of exsisting. From the age of 15 i new i wanted to b a mum its all i longed for. When i was 15 i was with a parnter to wich the relationshipt lasted 9 and a half years. It was during this relationship wen i hit my 20's i new falling pregnant was proving difficult so thats wen my hole medical investigation started and ivf was on the cards. After many scans internals ultra sounds and laparoscopys to try and find out why i just couldnt conceive. Nothing came apparrant apart from bein told i had ONE blocked tube. Ok i thort so i still have another one so at least that gives me a 50/50 chance of still falling. Anyway nothing happened and that relationship came to an end so i took sum time out to enjoy life befor setterling down again.
Thats when i met my next partner wen i was 26. we were together 2 years split for 6 months then go back together for another 2 years but that relationshop also came to an end. But it was this relationships i finally could see me being a mum and the end of the road. In the 1st 2 years we applided for ivf, was excepted, had more tests scans, blood tests, blue tube die test. But sadly during that time things go too hard and we split for 6 months. We decided to give it another go as we still loved each other afta all that time apart so we got things back on track and applied for ivf again. its was this time around i was within reachin distance of finnly havin a shot a ivf! Ihad to have another laporoscopy and it was this time around i had my tubes taken out as they were concerned if they were left in the ivf cud result into an eptopic pregnancy. All went ok but they then came back and told me neither of my tubes worked anyway as one was blocked ( that i new ) but the other was full of hydrsalphinx (toxic fluid ) witch now explain why i neva fell pregant in all thoose years. I was very upset at this as i feel i cud hv had this dealt with years befor hand. Anyways afta the tubes were out and i healed up ivf was all in the process. Consent forms signed and fertility drugs ordered with a delivery date !! But then ......... just 4 days befor my fertlity drugs arrived the unthickable happened. My partner left me. Destroying me in the process. My life turned upside down. There was no going back, ever. So i sunk into a complete low .....
Four months later ..... Thats when my wonderfull, now Fiance walked into my life ! Obviosly i was weary and my guard was up but he was pacient and so loveing and supportive that i fell head over heels inlove with him. Such a kind hearted loyall man. Afta a year together, yes we applied for ivf Yet again. Had all the tests done again, blood tests, interals, semen test, all came back good and we shortly get a our ivf appointment at the hospital. Excited nervous anxsious we go to our appointment to c the fertility nurse who then sits and looks at our forms..... My partner Matthew has two children form a previous relationship to witch i honestly addmitted on our forms. The nurse spots this and then thoose UNBEARABLE WORDS LEAVE HER MOUTH .... im sorry ur are not eligable for ivf on the nhs as matthew has children.
Im uncontrolably break down, tears just roll down my face and the nurse leaves the room to give us a few minuets.
She retunes shortly after and says im sorry and lets us leave with not an ounce of consideration of how i must be feeling. No counselling offered. No advice line phone numbers. Nothing. We r just left to leave and some how try and get on with our lives.
Clearly i felt there was noway of gettin over this. It hurt so bad that i had my right of bein a mum taken away from me. Matthew too felt partly to blame as he felt it was him preventing me from havin ivf as he already had children. He felt my pain and i could see it in his eyes. We cried together over this. He to this day has remained supportive and stood by me threw all this.
Afta a few months i felt it was time to Appeal this decision. Matt and i return to the doctors and our appeal is processed by our doctor so then we sit tight and wait for a response. Two months later we are called back to the doctors as we have has a response. The answer is still no ..................
I am at my wits end. Someone please help me/us, i dnt no wot other options i have left