Hi, Im struggling to come to terms with this at the moment. I have good days & bad. One moment I'm doing fine, then (normally when alone) I'm suddenly sad again.
We have been trying for 2 years, found out a month ago that I have PCOS and not ovulating. Then I had to have an X-ray to check my tubes & at the same time we were getting my OHs sperm results (we hoped 3rd time luck as had 2 bad ones). I decided on the Sunday that it was time to tell my mum about what we have been going through, I text her to ask if I could come round on the Wednesday (appointment was the thurs). 40 mins later my little sister (who has only just moved out of family home) FaceTimed me to tell me she's preg!! I sobbed!! Felt like a total bitch but couldn't stop!
I went to my appointment last Thursday & was told that I also have a blocked tube & yet again OHs sperm count was too low. We were told our only option is IVF. I was (am) heartbroken.
Told ALL family Thurs afternoon. My sisters response was, "well, you will be having this one enough" she then proceeded to tell me all about feeling sick, eating loads & showed me the things she's already bought (she's about 8/9 weeks). I came off FaceTime & guess what I did??? Yep, cried again!!
Me, mum, sis & my cousin (my rock - but don't see her often) went out on the Sat, all sat at a table & sis & mum were talking about what it's like when waters break, birth etc. It was SO hard to not sit there & cry!!
I mentioned all this to my mum in the hope she would understand and maybe say something to my sister. But no such luck, she just told me that I need to understand that it's an exciting time for my sister & that they are going to be talking about it. I tried to explain that it's just so raw (3 days since finding out) but her response was that it's always going to be raw!!
I just feel like no one gets it (other than my cousin who has also got friends that are going through IVF). My OH copes with everything so well (he works in a 999 call centre so nothing really gets to him) he says "it is what it is, there is nothing we can do to change it, let's be positve, at least we have the option of IVF". To be honest I know his way of thinking is best! His glass is always half full whereas mine is always half empty (or more! Lol).
Since us trying I have had 2 family members & 5 friends (that I can think of) have babies & each time I have cried & then felt guilty for crying!!
Even yesterday, the 1st one to be born is now 2, we saw her & her sister for Easter, I read her a book and I felt like I was crying inside whilst reading! I so badly want to be able to read to my own child... everyone keeps telling me to be positive and blah blah blah... no one gets it though!!
We have had our blood tests and waiting on the results. We assume that they just go straight to the IVF clinic & the contact us in due course. I literally haven't got a clue what to expect with anything. I have avoided reading too much online as I did this before going for the test to see if my tubes are blocked & got myself worked up as everything I'd read was how horrible it was, but it was fine!!
Any advice or your experiences would be great to read.